“Aye” Love You

“Aye” Love You (1,133)

May 1st, 2011

All those in favor, say “aye.”

The” aye’s” have it.

What do they have? Affirmation. Confirmation that they are not alone. Faces and warm bodies to rub up against—cleared for acceptance because they agree with us.

It is one of the difficulties with the word love. As we found out yesterday, it can be solely based upon visual stimulation. But it also can be determined by surrounding oneself with those “safe” friends who agree with us. And of course, you are intelligent enough to identify the problem with that—when we discover, even for a brief moment, that someone has ceased to agree with us, the affection we have for them dissipates, or even disappears. As I watch television I am flabbergasted to see people who are related to each other who have abused each other mentally, emotionally or even physically—who still insist that they are in the bonds of love. It’s because they have decided to agree on only one concept: “We are family and family is committed to staying together.”

But I must tell you that agreeing is not the same as agreement. And agreement has very little to do with compromise. And compromise has absolutely nothing to do with true progress. The Bible calls agreement essential for us to achieve in order for our prayers to go a little higher than the ceiling.

Let me give you a silly definition: “I may not always agree, but I always know what you mean.” In other words, “I trust your heart.” I believe you have the right to a separate opinion from me, and that you still maintain both personal value as a friend and spiritual integrity as an individual who just may end up being right instead of me.

Agreement is when we recognize that the power of love is stronger than the temporary sensation of conviction. Can you join me in an honest moment here? There are many things I once believed were true but the passing years have shown them to be irrelevant. If I were to make a decision on loving someone based upon their agreeing with me, I would soon have no friends whatsoever.

I know that “yes” feels good. I know that “amen” is what we want to hear after we give our speech. But sometimes great ideas need time to grow in the earth before people recognize the fruit. What I do want you to understand is that compromise is not the answer to achieve a temporary peace that has no lasting love.

We live in a democracy where compromise is extolled as necessary to our government and way of life. But there are some things that cannot be compromised. Because I desire to be a flexible fellow, without too many pointy edges on my personality, I have limited these non-compromising positions to three—three things I don’t need an “aye” to in order to have the sensation of being loved:

1. Free will is holy. The only way anyone loses their free will, in my opinion, is if they take it away from another person.

2. I am permitted to judge for myself, but for no one else. Nor am I permitted to evaluate that person based on temporary activities with which I do not agree.

3. Life is supposed to be happy. End of discussion. Do not hang around with people who insist that life is difficult or you will soon find them making your life as miserable as theirs.

Much as I like to hear a “yes,” just like the next person, I know there are times I will need to walk away from a room without agreeing with everyone, deciding to be in agreement with them over most things, but standing firm and not compromising those principles I know to be truly sacred.

I am suspicious of “aye” love you. It is contingent on the feeling of fellowship instead of working on fellowship to create agreement.

This is why I believe that the system has to begin with an “I” for an “I.”