P.A. L. Two

P.A.L. Two (1,186)

June 23rd, 2011

The trouble with trying to be pretty is that there’s always somebody prettier who by comparison makes you feel ugly. The quandary with acceptance is that nasty people like to withhold it, making you do what they want. And when you’re waiting to be loved, you will consistently find yourself attempting to transform in order to acquire the favor of someone’s pre-determined qualifications.

It is fussy business and certainly not worthy of your gentle and sweet heart.

Please understand, I am not trying to be critical of the choices we make because we’re surrounded by misinformation. That would be like condemning a man for selecting something from a menu that only has two available items. America has locked all of us into erroneous choices that don’t necessarily produce soul satisfaction or happiness, but merely provide uniformity.

So let me introduce you to P.A.L.Two. Of course, it begins with P, which stands for Polish. I think we only have one responsibility in life—or maybe I should say two: first, truthfully assess who we are. Secondly, polish it up.

For me, it’s a case of starting at the head and ending somewhere down at the toes. For instance, I am bald. I thought about getting a toupee, but considering that I spend a lot of time talking about candor, it seems contradictory to my approach. (Also, the more I shopped for hair, the sillier I felt.) My eyes? I need glasses, but truthfully, I don’t like to wear them on stage, so I don’t. I opt for a bit of blindness to maintain my personal piece of vanity. My weight. I am fat. You can substitute words for “fat,” but at the end of the sentence, you will still end up plumper than others. It is my job to polish up my clothes selection, hygiene, gait and demeanor to become as inconspicuous in the mainstream as humanly possible. I am like an old pair of shoes that still have a good “sole,” with a tongue that doesn’t protrude too far—a little scuffed, but amazingly acceptable for dress if given a nice coat of polish.

When people do not feel they’re pretty, they despair and stop polishing. That is why they sense rejection and alienation. I don’t feel confident unless I polish, and I don’t polish if I insist that I’m already pretty.

Which leads me to A. I have found that acceptance makes me want to comply with the demands of others and often leads me to tell those little white lies which seem to blacken by the moment. I dropped that foolishness. I think the sexiest, most intelligent and truly spiritual thing we can do in life is to be accurate. It doesn’t mean you need to be self-effacing or critical, just have the ability to give a factual representation of what is going on.

I think it’s wonderful when somebody walks into a room and says, “By the way, before we begin this meeting, let me inform you that I have a headache.” Isn’t that better than yelling at them later for being off-point or talking behind their back because we assumed they were disagreeable? Accurate is truthful reporting of our present status to give people a chance to understand where we’re coming from in any given situation. It is truly magnificent.

For instance, I was raised Presbyterian, did a stint in the Church of Christ, joined the charismatic movement for a season, mellowed out and decided not to become quite as evangelical in my intensity towards others, still honor the Bible—but cut myself and others slack for being human, while simultaneously contending that this particular condition is completely understood by God. So I find that I am comfortable with all of my brothers and sisters because I share their beliefs, even though I do not pursue all of their pet peeves.

Well, enough of that. Let’s conclude with L—loving. I neither have the time nor energy to wait around for you to decide to love me. It is exhausting, debilitating and frustrating. If I am going to wait for your approval to receive my being into your sphere of friendliness, I will end up not wanting that love once it’s finally offered.

So I always lead with a loving attitude and in so doing, give a physical representation of what I need in return. When I arrive at a church, I don’t try to warm up to people. I come in loving—and they can either choose to receive it or reject it, but there isn’t a soul there who doesn’t understand what I consider to be the status quo of behavior. I do not have the inclination to wait for you to love me. I will act out a loving attitude in all situations—mainly because I seriously doubt that even serial killers have a predilection to attack the gregarious.

This profile is a decision to become a thespian, acting out my own desire by presenting a sketch of realistic warmth to those around me by initiating it myself, thus giving a great visual of what I require.

I am saddened by those who feel the need to be pretty. It just never ends. If you really want to have a facelift, just try smiling. And for those who are desperate for acceptance, I ache for the compromises they are destined to slide into simply to gain a nod of approval. And when love is pursued, it often becomes a weapon used against us instead of a tender embrace of receptivity.

· Polish it up. You’ll be surprised at what a difference a “nice coat of care” can put on your package.

· Be accurate. The truth will make you free, but only if you speak it without fear.

· And choose to lead with loving—giving a realistic representation of what you believe should be the general interaction of human beings.

If you do this, you don’t have to worry about being pretty, because you’ve polished it. You don’t have chase down acceptance, because your accuracy will draw those who find your persona beautiful. And you don’t have to wait for love if you’re already loving.

Be the first one in your neighborhood to love your neighbor.

That’s the way I see it. What do you think?

Of course, it doesn’t really make any difference in the long run, because I took the time to polish this and be accurate—and kept it loving.