You Know Your Life Might Be a Little Out of Balance if it Seems to You That Every Day Is … October 9, 2011

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New Year’s Day.  Symptoms:

  • You always find yourself making resolutions, only to break them very quickly and then feel a sense of despair which is just as quickly alleviated by eating something sweet. You also might have too much desire for roses, parades and watching football.

Valentine’s Day.  Symptoms:

  • You are obsessed with romance and feel that if you could actually find your soul mate you might find your soul, and you have a bizarre notion that a little fat angel shooting an arrow through your heart does anything but kill you.  This condition is also marked by a sensation that a box of chocolates solves all the world’s problems.

The Ides of March.  Symptoms:

  • You take simple tasks like going to the marketplace, but you do it while wondering who is going to stab you in the back.  Or the front, for that matter. Of course, the problem may be that you walk around acting like you’re Caesar.

Your birthdaySymptoms:

  • For some inexplicable reason, you’re always expecting presents from people.  This particular condition is accentuated by a desire to have your cake and eat it, too.

May Day. Symptoms:

  • While children are dancing around poles with flowers in their hair, you fail to notice, because you are always wondering when your life is going to stall in mid-air and go down, crashing into the ground.

Arbor Day. Symptoms:

  • You seem to be much more fond of trees than you are of people. Dogs and cats are the oppressed races on the planet and it really bothers you when your acquaintances wear the fur of animals you’ve never met. You tend to worship nature and all its components–except for having a grudge against your fellow humans.

Fourth of July. Symptoms:

  • You find yourself always talking about freedom, basically because you want to do what you want to do without anybody’s interference or even taking adequate responsibility for your actions. You have the spirit of a child–in the sense that you want to set off a cherry bomb in the school bathroom.

Labor Day. Symptoms:

  • What you have is not really a job.  You’re not really even working for a paycheck. Instead, you are laboring–a struggle to get up, a struggle to get ready, a struggle to do the occupation that you still are able to perform, a struggle to get home, a struggle to listen to the family talk about problems, and then a bit of a struggle to get to sleep. It seems you have found one thing that brings you joy, but unfortunately, you only get to do it once a year while you struggle a bit with it–because you have to take the family along.

Halloween. Symptoms:

  • You find yourself dressing up to try to be somebody else so as to get treats, even though you know in the long run, it all may be just a big trick.

Thanksgiving. Symptoms:

  • You like to eat–and have learned to disguise it well by complimenting the cooking and being thankful for stuffing yourself like the turkey you have already murdered..

Christmas. Symptoms:

  • You seem to be waiting for someone to come in a magical sleigh to bring you all the things you’ve wanted since you were a child as you decorate a tree, complain about the crowded conditions in the shopping mall and have a bumper sticker on the back of your car that reads: Jesus is the reason for the season.

And finally, Easter. Symptoms:

  • You innocently walk into a plot for your demise, survive the atrocity and rather than lying down and giving up, you decide to raise yourself up–and try again.

Now, maybe there are many other choices, and certainly other symptoms in our lives.  But you might take a look at these and see if bits and pieces of the holidays have slid into your philosophy of life.  After all, the word “holiday” was originally “holy day.” 

And to be holy is to find the best way you can to create a sense of wholeness in your life.

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Jonathan sings “Let”

Jonathan Sings “Spent This Time”

Jonathan and his partner, Janet Clazzy, play “The Call”

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