Four births and born again … July 1st, 2012

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Perhaps inspired by the impending arrival of my grandson, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about being born. Honestly, each one of us needs a lot more than the earth to “make womb” for us. I think Jesus was right–we DO need to be born again. Otherwise, we have a nagging suspicion that plagues us throughout our lives–that we are merely pantomiming the wishes of our culture, passing through the Xerox machine of a genetic code. For a moment, forget about heaven. Earth-life has to be a lot more than just me trying to struggle, in quiet desperation, with some sort of destiny that has already been pre-determined.

After careful deliberation, I realized that each one of us needs four births to finally be born again. I saw it in my own life–or maybe better phrased, I see it in my own life.

I need an emotional birthing. I need to be able to say, “I am not alarmed by what I feel.” Otherwise, I will commit the first true sin of all human beings–I will learn to lie about my emotions. I will become comfortable masking my intentions in an attempt to make everything I do seem clean in the sight of others.

I have so many examples of this in my life, I barely know where to start. I once was alarmed that I got married too early. I was alarmed that I had no college education. I was a little alarmed that fame eluded me. I was alarmed that I didn’t seem to have the moxie and will-power to shed my excess pounds. I guess one day I got tired of being alarmed, and decided to instead be forthcoming and speak my heart aloud. Upon hearing my inadequacies floating in the air, they didn’t seem quite so alarming, and some of them seemed downright funny. I experienced an emotional birth.

Likewise, it took me a while to understand spirituality. I thought it was having a conviction about God or the Bible. Then one day I realized that the way to be born spiritually is to say to yourself, “I am not ashamed to believe.” It’s one thing to stand in a congregation of devotees and declare your faith and an entirely different matter to walk amongst the mockers and those who deem themselves to be logical and still continue to hold fast to a hope.

I have been around people who think I am stupid because I insist that I have a relationship with an unseen Father. One day I just stopped caring, and instead, reveled in the reassurance. It was the day I was birthed spiritually–and now I can say I am not ashamed to believe.

For many years I thought it was a sign of maturity to grab onto an idea and not relinquish it, even when new information began to contradict the original thought. When did stubbornness become a kissing cousin of intelligence?  Even in politics, they are so afraid of vacillation that they will follow policies which have historically proven to be erred, and in the present format are also weighed in the balances and found wanting.

One day I decided to rebirth my mind. I did so with a very simple phrase: “I am not afraid to change my thinking.” There are things that I now hold true that I did not agree with ten years ago. Matter of fact, you probably can go back into my jonathots and find contradictions. I don’t care. I refuse to have my brain encased in either dogma or concrete. I have received a mental birth because I am not afraid to change my thinking.

My most recent birth has occurred in the physical realm. Last summer I nearly gave up on the whole idea of being totally healthy, and even questioned any capability on my part to lose weight. It seemed that I had so many genetic markers against me, and a metabolism that hadn’t moved since the Kennedy administration. I felt justified to be discouraged. I felt as if I had lost out in the genetic lottery and it was only righteous for me to succumb to my circumstances. If I had continued that line of thinking, I not only would have failed to be birthed with a new body, but also would have been on the pathway to quietly terminating myself.

Something happened. Something previously immovable inside of me shifted slightly. All I know is that I have experienced a physical birth, and … “I am no longer aggravated to go through the physical steps to become more healthy.” Rather than a chore, it has become a game. Instead of being my curse, it has transformed into my cause. I am trying many things and experimenting with the vigor of Thomas Edison attempting to light up his bulb. I have been born physically.

  • I am not alarmed by what I feel–it is a birthing of heart.
  • I am not ashamed to believe–spirit born.
  • I am not afraid to change my thinking–mind renewed.And I am not aggravated to become more healthy–body rejuvenated.

The culmination of these four births is placing me in a status–or at least an emerging awareness–of being born again, which is the ultimate proclamation:

  • I am alive as me.

Sometimes it’s not enough to have a mother. You need a father, too. And sometimes a mother and father aren’t enough without sisters and brothers. And often, a mother, father, sisters and brothers can still leave you incomplete–until you allow yourself to be born again.

Four births–heart, spirit, mind and strength–lending themselves to the glorious proclamation:

I have been born again.

   

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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