Murdering Conversation… December 19, 2012

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jon-in-red-hat

“How was your birthday?”

I know I’m going to hear that. It’s why I should be prepared.

I often watch with fascination as we meticulously and ardently murder basic human conversation. We have come up with these new responses to questions which could lead to communication but instead we quickly slam the door on that option.

For example, how was my birthday?

“It was all right.” (There’s a dagger…)

“It was okay.” (Pure conversational poison…)

“Oh, I don’t like birthdays.” (A bullet in the brain…)

We think acting uncaring, unfeeling and unattached to excitement is a way of expressing that we’re just “muddling through somehow” and therefore are brave adults. It’s horrible. I think it masks an avoidance of reality or an ongoing objection about how events are playing out.

In other words, we want to demand of life that it give us many more thrilling options before we will give up our praise for the outcome. So we have the classic Mexican stand-off. Life stubbornly proclaims that we have gotten all we’re going to get, so deal with it, we screaming back that “unless you cough up more lottery winnings, we have no intention of being engaged, let alone enthralled.”

It makes people boring. We should not really be boring. After all, we have five senses. One sense should be enough to make us explode with anticipation. Five should make us delirious with happiness. Bur we medicate our emotions, murder conversation and put a lid on zeal, cautioning people that we require a certain amount of miraculous evidence about the goodness of life before we will apply our seal of approval on the activity.

This is why most churches would like to talk about worship instead of praise. Worship can be done with a forlorn countenance, mumbling some words, acting very somber and reserved. Praise demands that we alert all five of our senses and emit adulation.

If you want to cease being accused of first-degree murder of conversation, there are three things you should pepper into your dialogue every day which encourages further discourse amongst the brethren:

1. “I screwed up.” If you want to get someone’s attention–and respect–tell them how you messed something up. It doesn’t make you look stupid, it makes you look powerful that you know the difference between mediocre and better.

2. “I learned something.” Once again, you will astound the masses by using your brain to acquire knowledge rather than merely pouting over the dismal nature of your affairs.

3. “I did good.” Not okay. Not all right. Not even so-so. I attempted something, it became difficult, I saw it through, completed it and now feel fulfilled.

These statements bring conversation back from the dead. They make people want to talk to you. They include the balance of humility and victory. Don’t become a human drone, silently on your way to explode on the next enemy who dares to cross your path and disagree with you.

Stop murdering conversation. The punishment for such a crime is to be thrown into prison–a jail cell where you’re stuck with only yourself to talk to.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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