A Prudent Student … January 3, 2013

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So what do you think of my sexy picture? On second thought–please don’t tell me.

Sex. Sex is a three-letter word that is so intimidating that it scares four-letter words back to attending church. The trouble with sex is that most people fictitiously believe they’ve mastered it and therefore need no more training, insight or awareness of those around them. It’s why we often equate sex with violence–because people tend to become very defensive about their prowess, often to the point of hurting others to prove their superiority.

But as I said, in 2013 I am determined to go back to a child-like perception which will grant me power in my faith instead of draining off my potential relationship with God and human beings through my arrogance.

So what do children think about sex? Children are curious. Me too.

There is nothing in our entire experience as people that blends more of the carnal and the spiritual than sexuality. Those who approach it purely as a physical act end up frustrated, often degrading themselves in personal mishap. Those who insist that it’s purely spiritual are often relegated to a comedy of errors, and then overemphasis on the propriety robs the passion.

I want to be like a child. I want to remain curious. I want to learn about my own body, heart, soul and mind–and try to bring all four of them to the party of sexual relationship.

What else do we know about children? They have lots of questions and should never be pushed aside because we are nervous or feel their inquiries are premature or inappropriate. I have many questions. I have learned this–sex is always at its best when both parties are excited. If a woman believes that sex is a way to manipulate a man, she will not only fail to hold his attention and devotion, but she will often find herself without pleasure. If a man thinks that sex is a way to impress a woman, he will discover that much of her foreplay happens in stimulating her own level of enthrallment in the process.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we actually lived in a religious system  which is not afraid to discuss human sexuality and would answer questions instead of tabling them because they seemed too “nasty?”

And finally, as a child who wants to gain a simpler approach to my sexuality, I need to learn to “school the rule.” Is there any better example of the Golden Rule than human sexuality? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… We know this–sex is really stinky when you expect more than you are willing to give. And if the Golden Rule works with sexuality, it gives greater credence to the fact that it will work with our emotional system, mental acuity and spiritual well-being.

So what do I want to be in 2013 sexually? A prudent student.

I want to stop being a cocky male who thinks that every woman in the room is intrigued with his magnetism. Instead, I want to be curious, ask questions without fear and apply the Golden Rule–do unto others as you would have them do unto you. In the process I can break down this phony, manipulative attitude that presently is permeating the sexuality of our culture.

I am a child learning about myself sexually. As long as I have that approach, I will be gentle, tender and valuable to my partner.

I am a prudent student. It’s a wonderful way to take that three-letter word and make it much less frightening.

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