The First Valentine … February 14, 2013

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I wake up this morning terribly curious about what miracles St. Valentine would have performed to gain his station in the Mother Church. It is required in the Catholic experience, that each saint have two confirmed miracles. What would they be for Val? Maybe he lived in Hollywood–and was able to stay married for more than seven months. Perhaps instead of just saying that women are equals to men, he believed it and followed through. Maybe he enjoyed shopping and cooking with his spouse.

I’m not sure. But what I know about love, romance, women and the interaction between the sexes, I learned elsewhere. I learned it from a man who never treated a woman any differently from the dudes hanging around.

• He didn’t create a separate message for men and another one for women, pretending they were at odds with each other.
• Simultaneously, he demanded that women be human instead of following the darker parts of the internal nature.
• He called them on their lies, not winking and pretending like it is a female prerogative.
• He welcomed and blessed their children.
• He forgave them when they fell.
• He honored them when they made a good point that he hadn’t considered.
• He included them without exception.
• He never separated them off into women’s meetings.
• He made them apostles and messengers of what was dear in his heart.
• He was not ashamed to accept their financial help, citing some sort of macho philosophy of only men being bread winners.
• He praised their faith.
• At no time did he ever make them the butt of a joke, even when he was alone in a testosterone-driven circle.
• He protected them against religion, politics and culture, which wanted to relegate them to being “birthers” instead of fellow-laborers.

I didn’t learn much from St. Valentine. Everything I learned about how to treat, love, labor and interact with a woman was imparted to me at the feet of the Master.

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