Untotaled: Stepping 19–(February 16th, 1965) Achy … June 21, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

(2270)

(Transcript)

Just south of my rib cage, ending just north of my knees, is an aching, throbbing pain, which has a grip on me and won’t let go. It is a gnawing discomfort, tingling my bowels, unrelenting, yet strangely, not totally unpleasant.

I felt it for the first time last summer when I went to Benny’s house–a friend of mine in the neighborhood–to goof around and figure out what to do with the day to make it go quick and slow at the same time.

As I arrived, there was Benny’s mom, standing outside with a garden hose, watering her bushes, dressed in a bikini. That was the first time I felt the ache.

It possessed my body. I didn’t want to look at her but I had to because she was … well, she was everywhere. She turned and smiled, which only made the ache worse. I couldn’t make eye contact because my vision kept falling on larger proportions.

I excused myself, telling her I had to go home. But I really didn’t. I ran to a nearby tree and hid, peeking around the corner of the bark, to stare at her.

The ache increased. It was almost unbearable in an exciting kind of way. I wasn’t sure if I needed to go to the bathroom or if my stomach was exploding.

Every time she glanced in the direction of the tree, I ducked behind it. But unfortunately, being a large young fellow, I protruded from the width of my disguise.

So the next time I ventured a glance, she was staring in my direction. She waved at me. I produced some sort of lame response using my hand, and ran to my house, into the garage, into the furthest corner where there was a fishing tackle box and a bucket we used for minnows.

I grabbed a nearby tarp and threw it over me so nobody could see me. I just sat there, smoldering in the heat, aching.

After about fifteen minutes, it went away.

But now today at school, it’s back again. It happened when we were called to an assembly and Louise turned around in her chair to talk to me before the principal began the event.

She’s so pretty–and the ache is back, so strong that I cannot enjoy the magician and his show, planned for the assembly. Instead, I just dream of Louise and me, together.

The ache.

Do you know what I mean? 

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