Cracked 5 … July 21st, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2640)

Various Ways to Guarantee You Will Not Be Elected President of the United States

 

A. Call the fastest-growing voting block a bunch of criminals

 

B. Comb your hair in a style that people constantly make fun of

 

C. Use an accent that makes you sound like a gangster in a summer stock version of “Damn Yankees”

 

D. Call a war hero careless for being captured and tortured

 

E. Brag about your money around people who have to buy Brand X toilet paper

 

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