Cracked 5 … July 21st, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog


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Various Ways to Guarantee You Will Not Be Elected President of the United States


A. Call the fastest-growing voting block a bunch of criminals


B. Comb your hair in a style that people constantly make fun of


C. Use an accent that makes you sound like a gangster in a summer stock version of “Damn Yankees”


D. Call a war hero careless for being captured and tortured


E. Brag about your money around people who have to buy Brand X toilet paper

rich and mean


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