Cracked 5 … February 9th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2839)

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Since There Is Great Scrutiny on the “25-Second Explanation” of Senator Marco Rubio, Below Are the 25-Second Presentations of Other Candidates from the Past, Who Became President

A. I did not cross-dress in Delaware. I crossed the Delaware to address the enemy–a battle which I won, by the way. And furthermore, my teeth are not made of wood. I get cavities, not termites. (G. Washington)

 

B. I really didn’t split rails. I wasn’t always honest. My wife drove me crazy. I have smoked opium. I don’t really personally know any black people. (A. Lincoln)

 

C. I did Marilyn Monroe but she liked my brother better. I used a lot of double entendres about the “Cuban missiles.” And by the way, don’t drive in topless cars. (J. Kennedy)

 

D. By the mob definition, I am not a crook. By some definitions, I might be a crook. But let’s not be picky. I basically hated people, but still wanted their votes. I opened up China, so thank me the next time you get Takee-Outee. (R. Nixon)

 

E. I did not have sex with that woman. I did let her have sex with me. How can you say no to the dreams of young people? (B. Clinton)

 

Cracked 5 Presidents

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hilarious!!!!!

    Like

  2. Wonderful! They are all equally hilarious!!! On Feb 9, 2016 7:56 AM, “Jonathots Daily Blog” wrote:

    > jonathots posted: ” Jonathots Daily Blog (2839) Since There Is Great > Scrutiny on the “25-Second Explanation” of Senator Marco Rubio, Below Are > the 25-Second Presentations of Other Candidates from the Past, Who Became > President A. I did not cross-dress in Delaware” >

    Like

  3. One of the best Cracked Fives ever. Edgy

    Sent from Jon Russell Cring’s iPhone6

    >

    Like


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