Cracked 5 … January 2nd, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

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  Really, Really, Really Insipid New Year’s Resolutions

A. “I resolve with all my heart to breathe more deeply.”

 

B. “I am determined this year to use less toilet tissue.”

 

C. “It is my great conviction to take this year to memorize my pin numbers.”

 

D. “My New Year’s resolution? Stop harassing women unless I’m sure they want to be harassed.”

 

E. “Cut calories by limiting my intake of fried cheese.”

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