Jonathots Daily Blog
(4076)
I never planned on being a father
I just wanted to have sex
Sex was simple.
Sex was quick.
Sex was pleasurable.
Fatherhood, on the other hand, is neither simple, quick or necessarily pleasurable.
I was eighteen years old, attending my Junior-Senior Prom with my girlfriend, who had recently become my cohort in the exploration of the human body.
We were returning home from the festivities just before dawn, and arriving at her house, we pulled into her driveway. It was a long one. It ran alongside a pasture where her family boarded a horse.
Pulling inside the driveway and far enough from the road to not be seen but also far away enough from the house to be undetected, we got out of the car. I laid my rented tuxedo jacket on the grass. My girlfriend lay down on her back, disengaged herself from her gown and I from my pants, and we indulged in two-and-a-half minutes of sexual mischief, while the horse nearby observed.
After it was over, we restored our clothing, never realizing that the seed of our first son was planted while we were on that grass.
We had become travelers on a rocky journey.
From that night to the present, four sons have come into my life—one deceased. The three remaining boys that I fathered had to put up with a guy who really was more suited to be a vagabond gypsy musician than “Daddy reading books by the fireplace.”
I honestly don’t know whether I did a good job or not.
I know it could have been done better.
I know at times I was torn between my own desires and the needs of my family.
I know sometimes I over-disciplined and other times I slacked off and ignored situations because I was sleepy and wanted to go to bed.
When a friend of mine came out of a horrible marriage and divorce with three children of her own and was looking for a mission in her life, we joined efforts, including her three other children. Likewise, I don’t know if I was suited to be their godparent or not. It certainly seemed like I was better than their biological father, who was abusive.
But I cannot tell you, on this Father’s Day weekend, that I was well-suited for the job of nurturing children or being the guiding light to their galaxy of possibilities.
What I can tell you is that I did not run away.
I did not blame anyone else.
And I learned how to be wrong and apologize to them for messing up.
I know our Creator probably thought He was being very focused and concise by tying sexual intercourse to child conceiving.
Yet He was also intelligent enough to know that getting worked up over a woman’s sexuality has little to do with deciding to join her in a quest, as Mom and Dad, to rear young’uns.
I guess fatherhood demands three things:
1. Stay, don’t run.
2. Think, don’t assume.
3. And be willing to be wrong without being angry that you are.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity
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