Cracked 5 … November 17th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3852)

Cracked 5

Cracked 5

Laments of the Common Turkey During This Holiday Season, Including Ways It Might Try to Save its Own Neck

A.  Ducks are ALL dark meat

 

B.  The Pilgrims actually preferred lobster.

 

C.  At least give me the dignity of eating my gizzard

 

D.  Pork is also good with dressing

 

E.  Ben Franklin thought I should be the national bird. Did you ever think of that?

Thanksgiving Turkey


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Cracked 5 … November 10th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3852)

Cracked 5

Takeaways from the Midterm Election

A. You can spend lots of money and still end up pretty much right where you started

 

B. We want people to vote–unless we don’t like the way they vote

 

C. Vote shaming has replaced fat shaming

 

D. Another Florida recount should be exciting and fulfilling

 

E. Politics makes strange fellows–forget about the bed

Republicans and Democrats


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Cracked 5 … November 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3845)

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The Main Reasons for the Existence of the Month of November

A. Purging turkeys

 

B. Including dressing and cranberry sauce into family squabbles

 

C. Overwrought arguments about Christmas

 

D. Evidence that all leaves will not be raked

 

E.  Rhymes with “September” in the 30-day song

 

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Cracked 5 … October 27th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3838)

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Reasons the ladies on “The View” might give for how being a prostitute empowers women:

A. Being a prostitute frees up daytime hours to go to the clinic

 

B. Proof that penis size doesn’t matter

 

C. Flashy clothes

 

D. Education in the court system

 

E. Simplifies things–all men are named “John”

cracked 5 call girl

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Cracked 5 … October 20th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3831)

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Real Reasons the Leaves Fall

 

A. Scandal

 

B. Wilted by unappreciation

 

C. Not ashamed to show their limbs

 

D. To get grounded in the Earth

 

E.  It’s Autumn, dummy

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Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3824)

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More Appropriate Names for Hurricanes (All in the “B” Family)

 

A. Breaking wind

 

B. Blow me

 

C. Beach Bango

 

D. Ball-buster

 

E. Bitchy

 

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Cracked 5 … October 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3817)

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Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

A. A peach, wearing just your fuzz

 

B. Benedict Arnold

 

C. A school shooter

 

D. An elephant with a nose job

 

E. A zit, popping Hellman’s Mayonnaise

Bad Halloween costumes

 


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