Cracked 5 … May 18th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4049)

Cracked 5

Some Very Unnecessary Political Insults (But Curious)

A.  Demobrats

B.  The Congrossman

C.  Repukelicans

D.  Fixed News

 E.  Electoral Kindergarten

 

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Cracked 5 … May 11th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4042)

Cracked 5

Things That Are Part of Considering Impeach

A.  A peach

 

B.  The man who invented single-ply toilet tissue

 

C.  An imp

 

D.  People who preach recycling plastic

 

E.  A canned pea


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Cracked 5 … May 4th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4035)

Cracked 5

Common Answers Offered at Recent Senate Investigation – The Barr Exam

A.  “I’m sorry, I did not hear the question. I was busy sipping my hemlock.”

 

B. “Before I answer, let me tell you about my favorite color—lavender—nestled in the purple family…”

 

C.  “You don’t need to get so snippy!”

 

D.  “Give me a second. We didn’t rehearse that one.”

 

E. “AAAAAAAAh…well…AAAAh…HM…HM…HM…HM…HM…AAAA…”


William Barr pen and pencil
 

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Cracked 5 … April 27th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4028)

Cracked 5

Jokes the Elephant Man Hates

 

A. Stand back! I’m allergic to peanuts!

 

B.  Don’t forget to pack your trunk!

 

C. I hear you are all ears.

 

D. Is everything as big as your feet?

 

E. How long have you been a Republican?

 

Elephant Man

 

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Cracked 5 … April 20th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4021)

Cracked 5

Complaints from the Easter Bunny

A.  Side profile for candy pose is not flattering

 

B.  Children think rabbits lay colored eggs

 

C.  Colored eggs insist on being called “Chicken-born Americans”

 

D.  Suing hip-hop music for stealing “hop” from “hoppity”

 

E.  Dying on the cross for the sins of mankind

  

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Cracked 5 … April 13th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4014)

Cracked 5

Five Good Reasons to Legalize Recreational Marijuana

 

A. Not enough spaced-out drivers

 

B.  Another practical application for “No Smoking” signs in public places

 

C.  National IQ is starting to rise

 

D.  A boost to the youth vote, which will probably sleep in on Election Day anyway, from hangovers

 

E.  Find out once and for all why Puff was a Magic Dragon 

Cracked 5 Wylie Coyote

  
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Cracked 5 … April 6th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4007)

Cracked 5

Rejected Plans for Spring Break

 

A.  The “Building a Sandcastle” competition at Daytona Beach

 

B.  Starting a diet and exercise program

 

C.  Time with Mom and Dad

 

D.  A “Pirate Battle Reenactment” in Fort Lauderdale

 

E.  A urinary tract infection

 

Cracked 5 Pirate

  
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