Cracked 5 … May 9th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4406)

Cracked 5

Things That Can Be Done if There Is No Football Season

A. Have five guys sit around a room tossing a football until somebody drops it. Repeat.

 

B. The great “Nachos Off.” (No vegetarians, please.)

 

C. Watch re-runs of classic games and pretend you don’t know who wins.

 

D. Be absolutely thrilled that there was also no baseball season.

 

E. Turtle races on back patio. Loser makes soup.

 

 

Cracked 5 … May 2nd, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4398)

Cracked 5

The Best “Last Words” You Can Say Before You Die

A.  “The treasure map is in the…”

 

B.  “You have always had really bad breath. All of you.”

 

C.  “I am coming back as a tarantula. Check your shoes and toilet seat…”

 

D. “I want to say something personal. You bored the hell out of me.”

 

E. “Finally. No diet plan.”

 

 

Cracked 5 … April 25th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4391)

Cracked 5

Reasons That Cauliflower Should Not be Put in Pizza Dough

A. It’s just naturally a little stinky, stinky, big-butt

 

B. Although white, it doesn’t seem to possess the “privilege”

 

C.  Just because it has “flower” in its name doesn’t really make it flour

 

D. People try to escape the taste by adding more fatty cheese and greasy sausage

 

E.   God is really pissed.

 

 

Cracked 5 … April 18th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4384)

Cracked 5

Items You May Need to Go Out and Deal with Bull

A. Crap detector

 

B. Red cape and a clown

 

C.  A bully

 

D. A bulldozer

 

E. Seductive pictures of cows – utter porn

 

 

Cracked 5 … April 11th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4377)

Cracked 5

Some Ways to Know that You Are Overweight

A. Your stomach arrives in the room before you do

 

B. You must hold your breath when you tie your shoes

 

C.  Loving elastic-waist pants

 

D. Having three favorite types of meatballs

 

E.  When anyone says, “You still look great.”

 

Cracked 5 … April 4th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4370)

Cracked 5

Things That May Never Be Quite as Appealing After the Pandemic Ends

 

A. The phrase “going viral.”

 

B. Spending some quality time with the family.

 

C.  The come-on, “You give me fever.”

 

D. “Let’s shake on it.”

 

E. Oral sex.

Cracked 5 … March 28th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4363)

Cracked 5

 

Treatments That Do Not Work for Covid-19

 

A.  Chicken soup sucked through a straw while listening to mariachi music

 

B. Bible reading—even from the original Greek

 

C.  Blaming the Chinese for starting the damn thing

 

D. Tuning in on the endless reports. (Does your wolf blitzer?)

 

E.  The Magic 8 Ball

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: