Cracked 5 … October 17th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3463)

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In January 1961, during his Inaugural Address, President Kennedy stated, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” What few people know is that there were five previous drafts to that statement before arriving at the sixth one which was shared with the public. Today, as a benefit to our readers, we present to you those previous incarnations:

A. Ask for yourself. Your country will do it.

 

B. Ask for a country, just for yourself.

 

C. What your country can do for you–ask me about it.

 

D. What you can do for your country is asking yourself, what has your country done for you?

 

E. Stop asking so much.

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Cracked 5 … October 10th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3456)

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Other Names Once Considered for Bugs Bunny

A.  Ears McGears

 

B.  Rabid Rabbit

 

C.  Headser Tails

 

D.  Harry Hare

 

E.  Trumper

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Cracked 5 … October 3rd, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3449)

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Signs That Our Country Is In Need of a Refreshing Change

A. People are dead in the street

 

B. Souls are murdered

 

C. Americans are killing Americans

 

D. Indifference is not different enough

 

E. A new sin in Sin City

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Cracked 5 … September 26th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3442)

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Various Ways You Know It Is Fall

A. Annoying young people at churches are trying to sell you pumpkins

 

B. College football returns, with too much attention being placed on boys who still use pimple cream

 

C. You are told that donuts and cider go together

 

D. There is a chilling in the air that you have to start scraping off your windshield

 

E. The trees publicly give up hope and drop their leaves

 

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Cracked 5 … September 12th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3435)

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Signs That You May Have Stayed Too Long At Your Adult Son’s House With His Family Waiting For The Electricity To Turn On In Your Home After The Hurricane

A. You’re beginning to repeat your stories with no other obvious symptoms of dementia

 

B. Your granddaughter caught a brief glimpse of you in your “holey” inappropriate boxer briefs

 

C. His family stares at you, perplexed, when you inquire about the fiber content in the breakfast waffles

 

D. You accidentally discover that your son has been browsing Google on the topic, “Evicting a Relative”

 

E. Your son’s children are crying because you woke up this morning

 

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Cracked 5 … September 12th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3428)

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Things You Do Not Want to Do During a Hurricane Party

A. Use up all the ice and then insist you “did not know.”

 

B. Start a romance. (You’ll be out in a couple of days and in your right mind.)

 

C. Tell hurricane damage stories.

 

D. Win at every board game and make people hate you.

 

E. Actually party.

 

 

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Cracked 5 … September 5th, 2017


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3420)

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The Old Adage Is “Cast Your Bread Upon the Water,” But What Would You Really Get?

A.   Undrinkable water

 

B.  A new prison experiment by Bed and Bath called “Bread and Broth”

 

C.  Inedible bread

 

D.  A little teeny bread-boat floating in the Havana Harbor

 

E.  Any “Soup of the Day” at Olive Garden

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