Cracked 5 … May 23rd, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4418)

Cracked 5

Great Ideas for This Year’s Graduates

 

A. Stand six feet apart and shoot off fireworks.

 

B. Have your diploma driven by your house in a convertible, displayed by a sorority girl.

 

C. Laugh, and call yourselves “The Classless of 2020.”

 

D. Make sure to quarantine your diploma for two weeks until it’s safe to handle.

 

E. Formal mask and gown

 

 

Cracked 5 … November 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3845)

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The Main Reasons for the Existence of the Month of November

A. Purging turkeys

 

B. Including dressing and cranberry sauce into family squabbles

 

C. Overwrought arguments about Christmas

 

D. Evidence that all leaves will not be raked

 

E.  Rhymes with “September” in the 30-day song

 

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Cracked 5 … October 27th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Reasons the ladies on “The View” might give for how being a prostitute empowers women:

A. Being a prostitute frees up daytime hours to go to the clinic

 

B. Proof that penis size doesn’t matter

 

C. Flashy clothes

 

D. Education in the court system

 

E. Simplifies things–all men are named “John”

cracked 5 call girl

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Cracked 5 … October 20th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Real Reasons the Leaves Fall

 

A. Scandal

 

B. Wilted by unappreciation

 

C. Not ashamed to show their limbs

 

D. To get grounded in the Earth

 

E.  It’s Autumn, dummy

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Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3824)

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More Appropriate Names for Hurricanes (All in the “B” Family)

 

A. Breaking wind

 

B. Blow me

 

C. Beach Bango

 

D. Ball-buster

 

E. Bitchy

 

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Cracked 5 … October 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3817)

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Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

A. A peach, wearing just your fuzz

 

B. Benedict Arnold

 

C. A school shooter

 

D. An elephant with a nose job

 

E. A zit, popping Hellman’s Mayonnaise

Bad Halloween costumes

 


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Cracked 5 … September 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3810)

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Other Interesting Tidbits About Judge Kavanaugh

A.  He spells his name with a K

 

B.  He likes beer. He always liked beer. He still likes beer.

 

C.  Don’t be offended if he forgets your party.

 

D.  Some people think he’s really cute when he pouts.

 

E.  He is the only white boy in America who never did anything inappropriate with a girl.

 

Brett Kavanaugh

 


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