Cracked 5 … November 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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The Main Reasons for the Existence of the Month of November

A. Purging turkeys

 

B. Including dressing and cranberry sauce into family squabbles

 

C. Overwrought arguments about Christmas

 

D. Evidence that all leaves will not be raked

 

E.  Rhymes with “September” in the 30-day song

 

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Cracked 5 … October 27th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3838)

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Reasons the ladies on “The View” might give for how being a prostitute empowers women:

A. Being a prostitute frees up daytime hours to go to the clinic

 

B. Proof that penis size doesn’t matter

 

C. Flashy clothes

 

D. Education in the court system

 

E. Simplifies things–all men are named “John”

cracked 5 call girl

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Cracked 5 … October 20th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3831)

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Real Reasons the Leaves Fall

 

A. Scandal

 

B. Wilted by unappreciation

 

C. Not ashamed to show their limbs

 

D. To get grounded in the Earth

 

E.  It’s Autumn, dummy

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Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3824)

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More Appropriate Names for Hurricanes (All in the “B” Family)

 

A. Breaking wind

 

B. Blow me

 

C. Beach Bango

 

D. Ball-buster

 

E. Bitchy

 

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Cracked 5 … October 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3817)

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Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

A. A peach, wearing just your fuzz

 

B. Benedict Arnold

 

C. A school shooter

 

D. An elephant with a nose job

 

E. A zit, popping Hellman’s Mayonnaise

Bad Halloween costumes

 


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Cracked 5 … September 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3810)

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Other Interesting Tidbits About Judge Kavanaugh

A.  He spells his name with a K

 

B.  He likes beer. He always liked beer. He still likes beer.

 

C.  Don’t be offended if he forgets your party.

 

D.  Some people think he’s really cute when he pouts.

 

E.  He is the only white boy in America who never did anything inappropriate with a girl.

 

Brett Kavanaugh

 


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Cracked 5 … September 22nd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3903)

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Excuses Some Football Players Give for Enjoying Beating Up Women

 

A. Skin is soft and doesn’t scrape their knuckles

 

B. Don’t hit back very hard

 

C. A quick way to build up body strength and endurance

 

D. Draws other crazy women their way

 

E. Game suspensions give time for travel

football and domestic violence

 

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