Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3824)

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More Appropriate Names for Hurricanes (All in the “B” Family)

 

A. Breaking wind

 

B. Blow me

 

C. Beach Bango

 

D. Ball-buster

 

E. Bitchy

 

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Cracked 5 … October 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3817)

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Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

A. A peach, wearing just your fuzz

 

B. Benedict Arnold

 

C. A school shooter

 

D. An elephant with a nose job

 

E. A zit, popping Hellman’s Mayonnaise

Bad Halloween costumes

 


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Click the elephant to see what he’s reading!

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Cracked 5 … September 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3810)

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Other Interesting Tidbits About Judge Kavanaugh

A.  He spells his name with a K

 

B.  He likes beer. He always liked beer. He still likes beer.

 

C.  Don’t be offended if he forgets your party.

 

D.  Some people think he’s really cute when he pouts.

 

E.  He is the only white boy in America who never did anything inappropriate with a girl.

 

Brett Kavanaugh

 


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Click the elephant to see what he’s reading!

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Cracked 5 … September 22nd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3903)

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Excuses Some Football Players Give for Enjoying Beating Up Women

 

A. Skin is soft and doesn’t scrape their knuckles

 

B. Don’t hit back very hard

 

C. A quick way to build up body strength and endurance

 

D. Draws other crazy women their way

 

E. Game suspensions give time for travel

football and domestic violence

 

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Cracked 5 … September 15th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3796)

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Signs that the Summer is Over

A. Your fifth batch of pool toys is officially deflated

 

B. Flip-flops are marked down

 

C. It’s colder

 

D. High school cheerleaders go back on the pill

 

E. Christmas decorations

end of summer

 

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Cracked 5 … September 8th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3789)

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Signs Your Staff Might Have Turned Against You

A. Those scamps have hidden your pens and paper clips

 

B. Secretary brings morning cup of warm piss

 

C. Readily resuming resumés

 

D. Muffled giggling when you walk away

 

E. Have New York Times on speed dial

 

Donald Trump Anonymous OpEd

 

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Cracked 5 … September 1st, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3782)

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Absolutely Fascinating Ways to Mangle Famous Sayings, Phrases or Quotations

 

A. What your country can do for you? DON’T ASK!

 

B. Fourscore and seven were scoreless

 

C. For God so hated the world…

 

D. Make America grape again.

 

E. Black Lives Mutter

 

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