Jonathots … January 29th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3940)

handbook for touching

It’s touching.

I’m touched.

Touch me.

From the minute we plop out of the womb, we scream—not for food, not sight, or to hear comforting words—and not to smell chocolate chip cookies.

We scream for connection.

Goddamn it—put me back against my mother’s skin. Let me feel some touch.

Then society, our educational system, religious training and our entertainment industry attempt to make us overly dependent on what we merely see and hear.

Touch is removed except for obvious situations, when we require intimacy.

We are told that touch is dangerous. You can contract diseases. You can over-commit your emotions.

Therefore, we reserve touch and withhold it. Matter of fact, when we even hear the word touch, we associate it with sexuality instead of humanity.

Some ideas persist:

Shaking hands, for instance. But we’re changing that to a fast fist-bump.

Holding hands. Isn’t a high-five enough?

A pat on the back. “Come on! You know I support you.”

There’s a national pastime to make things that draw us closer together seem unnatural. As a result, we cloister into smaller and smaller units, only allowing for fellowship in the catacombs of our own understanding.

I see you. I see what you’re doing. I want to let you know I appreciate it. I touch you.

I hear you. I love the sound. It makes me what to touch you.

I smell your human odor—your fragrance. Yes, I wouldn’t mind being close.

And certainly, I taste you. We are intimate. It makes me yearn to caress you.

It is impossible to foster human progress without touch.

Even as we argue about people coming to our country from other nations, is it not possible for us to honor those who emigrate while still being careful about their immigration? Can’t we be touched by their journey, and still ask them to stand in line and fill out an application? Why must we portray them as evil, nasty, rotten and devious?

When you remove touch, you hamper the hands, and when the hands retreat, the ability to assist evaporates.

Being touched is not a feminine thing, nor is it a masculine no-no. It is the only way that we’re sure we’re alive…and it means something.

 

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Jonathots … January 22nd, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3933)

handbook for touching

Thinking that something which is not real is going to happen is called crazy.

Believing that something that is not real is going to happen is called faith.

Faith and crazy have a lot in common.

This is why, over the centuries, many who thought they were moving in faith ended up looking crazy—and there were those deemed crazy who historically are proclaimed people of faith.

The difference between faith and crazy is what energizes them.

Crazy is energized by fear—fear of rejection, fear of the future, fear of other human beings, or fear of responsibility.

Faith works by love—an appreciation for opportunity, a deep respect for other humans, and a desire to take what is given and work with it.

So how do I know I have the hands of faith instead of the mitts of crazy?

It’s the energy that comes off me, which will tell you whether I’m being controlled by fear or motivated by love.

There’s a story in the Good Book which says a woman touched the hem of Jesus’ garment and was healed because “virtue came forth from him.” There was so much energy of love, hope and faith that it literally radiated from him into her body.

Sounds a little weird, doesn’t it? But we actually refer to it all the time:

  • “I pick up a good vibe from you.”
  • “You have a great aura.”
  • “When you’re in the room, I feel like everything is possible.”
  • “You make things pleasant.”
  • “You make things work.”
  • “You help me believe.”

The power of touch includes the ability to generate the energy of love, which is able to be transferred from one person to another.

Yes—we can infuse our authority and power into another human being.

Yes—faith and love can be passed along, just as we know that craziness and fear can ricochet through mob, turning them into killers.

I’m on a journey to make sure that my faith is not crazy by confirming every day that it is fed by love instead of fear.

 

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Jonathots … January 15th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3926)

handbook for touching

People decide whether they want to be touched by us by noticing how we handle our other four senses.

  • How do we look at things—the eyes?
  • How do we listen—the ears?
  • What do we think about the odors around us—the nose?
  • And do we enjoy new tastes—the tongue?

Truthfully, if you have nasty attitudes in at least two of these areas, you will notice that people will begin to pull away. Even if you’re in love, married or involved in a physical relationship, it will begin to cool.

For none of us want to be touched by a grouchy person, even though we would never articulate it in exactly that way. It’s why, when we’re little children, we run toward a gracious grandma and reluctantly hug a cranky grandpa.

We are human. Therefore, we have the seed of God in us. That seed demands watering—and the way we water our seed is by using our senses in a positive, Spirit-building way, so when it’s time for intimacy, people yearn for our touch.

When we open our eyes, do we see problems, difficulties, disaster, sinfulness and evil? Or are we looking for things that are promising? That alone makes us appealing. Simply to reject the darkness we see and find the light causes people to want to cuddle closer to us.

Do we listen to what’s going on around us, hear music and scrunch up our faces in disapproval, or do we boldly walk up when we hear glorious things and proclaim, “Sounds great.”

Once again, who wants to be around someone who complains about what they’re hearing?

If you want to win the favor of other humans, walk into the house and tell them it smells fabulous. Or you can walk in, sniff the air, twitch your nose twice in disapproval, and have them praying that you leave soon.

You’re invited to dinner and they offer you a food you’ve never tasted before—do you turn it down? Do you express your reluctance? Do you taste it and say, “Give me meat and potatoes?” Or do you partake and tell them what you like about it instead of what you hate about it?

Ninety percent of the reason that married people lose their affection for one another has nothing to do with physical touching. No, they simply get tired of seeing sour looks, hearing complaints about sound and pickiness over a smell, or the ongoing refusal to try anything new.

I want to touch.

I want to be touched.

Therefore, it is my responsibility to look for good things, to appreciate wonderful sound, to rejoice over fragrance and to be thankful for the variety of delicious tastes that the Creator has offered.

 

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Jonathots … January 8th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3919)

handbook for touching

 And when I touch you

I feel happy inside

It’s such a feeling

That my love

I can’t hide

55 years ago, two young men from England wrote a song which is hands down the best hands-on song ever written about holding hands.

It was called “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.”

Although most parents felt it was an innocuous request, there is actually very little in life that is more sensual than holding hands. It has caused many a young man to break out in a sweat, wondering when it was appropriate to reach over and join palms and fingers with his date, only to discover that she, too, was sweating and extremely anxious.

Holding hands is when my “toucher” touches your “toucher,” ending up with a touching experience.

There is nothing quite like it. It is underestimated.

In great drama, when empathy, sympathy, compassion, tenderness or romance is being expressed, often the beginning of the scene is notated: “And he took her hand…”

That feeling of flesh upon flesh, knowing that it is a willful action, is intoxicating.

It’s why we sit by a fire in a forest singing songs, and when it becomes particularly meaningful, we join hands.

It’s often the way we choose to pray.

It is the bedside manner of a good doctor, conveying to a patient his confidence that “everything is going to be all right.”

In a world where we’ve become more and more concerned about germs and spreading viruses, we find ourselves doing less and less hand-holding. Matter of fact, there are those who make fun of it, suggesting that it’s anemic—a mere “hand-holding exchange.”

But 55 years ago, John and Paul were right when they clearly stated that when we touch someone, we do feel happy inside.

 

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Jonathots … January 1st, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3890)

handbook for touching

“I never touched her.”

“I didn’t lay a hand on you.”

These are common phrases, often spouted when wounded people suggest that we have attacked them and we are certain that no physical contact was ever made.

We could be right. It is possible to never lay a hand on another human being in a negative way—and still communicate violence.

The hands are so expressive that they even emote gestures of touch.

Pointing a finger at someone in an accusatory manner often makes the person being accosted feel as if that digit is jabbing into his or her soul

Shaking a fist in traffic to communicate displeasure also carries the message that you might wish to put that same fist right in their nose.

And there’s no doubt that sprouting the middle finger is a huge proclamation that the person you are insulting isn’t worth any of your time or consideration.

The hands are so powerful that they don’t need to touch to be felt. Therefore, if someone points at me, makes a fist or gives me the middle finger, I often feel attacked.

But likewise, if someone reaches out with their hands, palms up, letting me know that they yearn for a connection, or if I’m at a concert or church and see an audience lift their hands in appreciation and adoration, I also feel that connection deep within my soul.

And if someone chooses not to give me the finger, but instead blows a kiss my way, I am moved, I feel attractive and I am touched.

 

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Jonathots … December 18th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3890)

handbook for touching

She approached her shopping cart, unwilling to put her hands on it until she had removed a wet-nap from her purse, full of, I assume, anti-biotic, anti-virus and anti-people juice. She cleaned off the apparatus before she began her shopping.

I apparently was caught staring because she turned to me with a snarl on her face and said, “Nasty stuff. Got to avoid the flu bug.”

Likewise, during the wintertime, I attended a church with a minister in full ceremonial garb. It came time for the “passing of the peace.” He paused and explained to the congregation, “I must ask you not to make contact with your hands with one another. Since it is the flu season, please find another way to express other than physical contact.”

A little gleeful spirit leaped in my soul–I love awkward situations, which certainly are rife with comedy. I watched the people–who didn’t know what to do. Some tried to “fist bump,” but let’s be honest. Fist bumping is certainly not conducive to the sign of peace. Most people just gave up and nervously waved.

Needless to say, even though this was popular for a few weeks, the mass of humanity eventually realized that since we’re all in this together, then “together we will sneeze and cough.”

Even though you can pass the flu bug by touching one another, you can also pass along blessing.

Are you frowning over that statement?

Just like you can’t see the bacteria or viruses that cause the flu it is equally possible that the energy, the kindness, the mercy and the tenderness in human hands are not visible either, but are passed through touch.

And candidly, even the flu bugs that people pass to us give us a fighting chance to manufacture anti-bodies which are much more likely to protect us from the flu than acting like the whole world around us is filled with lepers.

 

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Jonathots … December 11th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3883)

handbook for touching

The light of the body is the eye

If the eye is evil, then the whole body is filled with darkness. But if the eye is clear, then the whole being can be illuminated.

Honestly, these words can sound like a bunch of gibberish if they’re not understood. This is the trouble with a lot of deep philosophy and passages that insist they are “spiritual.”

Let me phrase it this way:

Your eyes belong to you, but what you see was programmed by others.

Even though you may insist that you are the master of your own thinking and the manipulator of your vision, there is so much programming that’s gone into you–from childhood, schooling, experiences, defeats, failures and pain–which clouds your vision and only presents the images that memory will offer.

We are very critical of prejudice, but the fact of the matter is, nearly all of our preconceived ideas are deeply ingrained within our consciousness long before we have a chance to vote on whether to accept them or not.

This affects our touch.

If we don’t like what we see, we don’t want to get near it. If we don’t want to get near it, we avoid it and fear it. And once we’ve decided that someone or some group is foreign, then it becomes necessary for us to rationalize our choice by attempting to prove that the forbidden topic, race, religion, gender or sexual orientation is hampered by evil.

Thus, white people who grow up in a bigoted environment really do think the black race looks a bit like monkeys. That’s how they were taught to see them. Therefore, that’s how they view them. The end result is, they decide not to be around them and the unity brought on by touch is forsaken.

Likewise, black parents who teach their children that Latinos are lazy and not to be trusted raise children that purposely avoid anyone with light brown skin, unless there’s enough pigment to welcome them as black brothers and sisters.

Also, the Latinos do it with the Asians, and within their own culture, assuming that Cubans are better than Dominicans, and Asians assuming that Chinese are superior to Japanese.

Once our eyes have been fitted with a pair of glasses by our upbringing, making us see the world in a certain way, then our bigotry becomes a spectacle.

Because once we’re afraid–once our “eyeballing” of other human beings promotes darkness in our minds, we are certainly not going to want to be near them, to shop with them, to go to church with them or to ever risk touching them.

Without touch there is no fellowship. Without fellowship there is no commonality, and without commonality, there is alienation.

Take some time during this Christmas season to consider the vision you have of life–the way you see those around you.

Are you controlling your own perception? Or do you have people you were taught were “untouchables?”

Because if you’re not willing to touch people with the tenderness of your hands, you will certainly end up fighting them with your fists.

 

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