1 Thing You Can Do to Define Your Nature and Expose Your Heart

Start your day with a truthful evaluation.

Often in the pursuit of appearing to be even-keeled or well-balanced, we respond to a question with a contrived answer.

We all know the question.

It’s not like it’s going away.

But if you want to make a difference in life, you need to learn to answer it with twenty words or less, while still maintaining a truthfulness you can live out.

The question:

How are you today?

You’ve heard that one before, right? Here are the top five normal answers to that inquiry:

  1. Fair to middlin’.
  2. Just fine once I get my coffee.
  3. Great!
  4. Gettin’ started.
  5. Couldn’t be better.

There are variations on these themes, but the overall message is, “I don’t know why you’re asking me this question. It seems to be just polite, and I don’t think you really want to know how I am today.”

But if you misrepresent yourself in your answer, then later on it’s hard to explain why you’re getting such a bad attitude or why you become depressed because the toast was too dark.

If you want people to understand you, you must live more of a transparent life, at least as much as possible. So answer the first question of the day with an accurate report.

How are you today?

“Didn’t sleep great. Looking forward to maybe having a nap but going to cuddle up to my coffee right now.”

Now, when somebody hears this, they have a much better idea of where you’re coming from. And “where you’re coming from” is a gift you give to the people around you—so they don’t press all the wrong buttons.

How are you today?

“I slept pretty well but I’m scarin’ off some grouchiness so I’m going to be quiet and soak up the cheer in the room.”

Just that burst of plainness communicates how trustworthy you can truly be.

How are you today?

“Great. And I’m a bit surprised I’m great, because I woke up thinking I might be sleepy.”

Any answer you give that speaks to your real situation in twenty words or less will leave the room startled and delighted.

Because I guarantee you—whatever details you bring up, two or three other people will add their “amen.”

It may seem trivial but there’s something pure of heart about refusing to deceive anyone—even on such a simple morning question.

Remember the keys:

  • Answer quickly.
  • Less than twenty words.
  • Don’t elaborate.

 

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1 Thing You Need to Remember in November

Five Years Old is the Official Age Limit on Being Bratty

By age six, if still bratty, you are boring.

At fifteen, you are disgusting.

If you cling to brattiness by age twenty-five, you are openly exposed as a fraud.

At fifty, you are deemed jealous and bitter.

And if you are a seventy-year-old bratty person, everyone around you, including your family, just prays you will die.

 

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1 Thing You Can Do to Escape the Foolishness of Struggle

May the Force NOT Be with You

May you find a way to keep yourself out of situations where you feel forced to perform like a trick pony or forced to complete the inventory without any joy.

May you laugh at the idea of constantly being encompassed by an agenda, especially when finishing the task brings no sense of celebration.

May you wisely refrain from feeling forced to fight to defend yourself.

Realize that those who are supposedly out to get you usually end up getting themselves.

And certainly, stop feeling forced to pray, to fulfill some sort of pious quota with God, or forced to believe so those around you can confirm that you’re part of the faithful.

Since working is the lot of those in the human family, find a reason to do it with humor and joy instead of being forced to climb out of your bed and trudge to the mines.

And most of all:

Do not allow yourself to be forced into a grownup world that’s full of sneers, leers, tears and jeers.

My hope for you, each and every one, is:

MAY THE GOOD CHEER BE WITH YOU.

 

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1 Thing You Can Do to Clear Up Your Confusion

 

Stop Believing in Mythology

You aren’t supposed to walk on water. You’re a human being. You swim. It isn’t a lack of faith that you can’t tiptoe on the waves.

God didn’t plan your life; you have free will.

God doesn’t have a bank. The money you desire will come your way, derived by hard work or the generosity of others.

There aren’t “gods” flying around, taking care of your foibles.

There isn’t a devil plotting your destruction.

The stars are not aligned to give you your daily horoscope, but rather, in symmetry with the orbits and pathways of the Universe.

No one can see into the future because there is no future until you make it.

And God doesn’t have a favorite, or “Chosen People.”

Come on along, join the gang with the rest of us.

For after we remove all the mythology, the supernatural is how naturally we can make things super.

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1 Thing You Can Do This Week to Be in the Know

 

Attractive Without Attraction Does Not Attract Anybody

I freely admit that being handsome or gorgeous is an immediate plus for gaining attention in the human family. Matter of fact, it may give you one or two free cracks at the prize without having to suffer too much critique from admirers.

We like pretty people.

We, ourselves, either believe we are pretty, or certainly have a comprehensive plan and are working to get there.

But if “attractive” cannot produce an attraction, people will scurry away, not only disappointed, but vindictive that they so easily swooned over dimples and smiles. At this point, attractive has failed to deliver, through evident beauty, any promise of beautiful things forthcoming.

I don’t think I need to discuss with you what attractive is. But I have readily prepared myself to explain what the attraction is that can take unattractive people and attract them to everybody.

There are three links that form a chain.

If you’re able to grasp how these units are meant to combine to generate an attraction, then you won’t have to worry nearly as much about being universally considered attractive. There are even many actors in Hollywood who might, on the surface, be considered homely, but because of their work, character, longevity and quality, are now able to attract anybody.

So what are the three links that form the chain of attraction?

It begins with confidence.

Confidence is characterized through the statement, “I have some experience.” Confidence does not say that you have all experience, or that your experience will solve the entire breadth of problems or that there isn’t something that could come up that you would not be able to handle. Confidence is just stating, “I have some experience.”

You take that link and fasten it to “humble.”

Humble is an admission necessary for all of us:  “I have some weaknesses.”

These two attributes connected create a ying and yang that let people know that you’re safe for consideration.

Confidence: I have some experience.

Humble: I have some weakness.

The final link is mercy: I have some forgiveness.

If you are a leader and you’re starting a job managing a group of people and you don’t have mercy, you unfortunately will soon turn into a tyrant.

But when you take the three links—confidence, humble and mercy—they form a chain of attraction.

No matter where you go across the world, they will attract you to anybody.

Too much confidence? You’d better be attractive, too.

Too much humble? You may just look like you’re playing it safe.

And too much mercy? You can be taken advantage of.

So if you can ignore whether you are deemed physically attractive, but instead, confidently, humbly and mercifully pursue your goals, then that will build the attraction which will attract you to anybody you meet.

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1 Thing You Can Do to Maintain the Power of Your Own Reasoning

 

Don’t Hold Town Meetings

I don’t know how the practice got started.

I suppose someone thought it was really civic minded for a candidate to sit in front of a bunch of townsfolk and take questions about his or her choices made while governing.

But here is the break-down of what happens when you try to appeal to the masses.

It is a three-step process:

1. Masses

2. Misses

3. Messes

There you go. That’s the way it works.

When you talk to the masses in America, you are not speaking to individual people who formulated their own thinking on a particular subject. You end up addressing the multi-media machines—the ones with the most money—which target those Masses to try to implant the ideas of their Misses, which they want to push forward—creating Messes.

If I were to sum up our present climate, I would call it A. I. U.

Yes, America is A. I. U.—which stands for An Internet Understanding.

On innumerable subjects, Americans can give you their take, which they have derived by being peppered, through the Internet, with Tweets, posts and memes. There’s not enough time to participate in reading or viewing these opinions and also finding out if they’re correct. Therefore, what you think about America is solely based upon what Internet cites you choose for gathering your information.

Now, if you slam all those people together in a Town Meeting, what they will shout at you is what they are positive is the truth—because they read it on the Internet.

In A. I. U. environments, it is absolutely impossible, if not dangerous, to open up the room to questions.

Likewise, nowadays, I’m even careful about asking people’s opinion on the latest shirt I bought. Because what I often get back is A. I. U.

Or, “What do you think I should do about selling my house?” More A. I. U.

My son is thinking about going to college. A. I. U. begins to speak.

Once you get in a Town Meeting, you can’t stop listening or run out the door in horror.

If you planned a Town Meeting, you can’t cancel it without looking like you have something to hide.

So our 1 Thing for today is simple:

Don’t you dare hold a Town Meeting. 

 

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1 Thing You Can Avoid to Escape Becoming an Asshole

 

Stop insisting that you’re a “little grouchy” but don’t know why.

It is a sadistic ploy by those who feel they aren’t getting enough attention and wish to bring the entire focus on themselves. For you see,:

Some of the virtues of human beings can also become vices.

This comes to play with this situation.

When we find out something is broken or faltering or in this case, grouchy, we’re compelled to try to fix it.

So rather than beginning the trip or starting the new project or focusing on an important family matter, the “little grouchy guy or girl” has everyone in a furor, trying to figure out what to do to cheer him or her up.

  1. “Did you get enough sleep, or is it coffee? Did you have enough time to get yourself ready?”

People begin to fret over this seemingly hapless soul who merely hungers to control all attention.

  1. “Are you worried about your family? Are you worried about your job? Are you worried about your health? Are you worried about your bridge club? ”

Like young parents huddling around the two-year-old trying to figure out why he’s crying, they gather—with unnatural concern.

  1. “Are there any other symptoms? Is there a runny nose involved? Do you have iron-poor, tired blood?”

And of course, the inevitable:

  1. “Are you mad at me? Did I offend you? Did I miss one of your signals that are so quietly given that it’s difficult to know what you’re attempting to communicate?”

This sets the whole room a-buzzing with overwrought mercy, making this one person more important simply because they’ve expressed a weakness.

Yes—now I remember. That was Darwin’s concept:

The Survival of the Whiniest

Let me give you a clue.

Life is like a football game.

So pad your shoulders, put “peace” in your mouth and get your head in gear.

Don’t expect the other players or the coach to nurse you to victory.

Life is this way:

Tackle it or get smeared.

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