Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … February 27th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man Dear Woman

Dear Man: What do you want from me?

 

Dear Woman: Well, I guess, everything.

 

Dear Man: Everything?

 

Dear Woman: Was that the wrong answer? Because if I said “nothing,” it wouldn’t sound very good.

 

Dear Man: I’m not trying to trick you. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot. I’ve come up with this idea of the “Flirty Thirty.”

 

Dear Woman: I’m listening…

 

Dear Man: I think as men and women what we really want from each other–30 percent of what we’re trying to acquire–is simply the knowledge that we’re attractive.

 

Dear Woman: I can see where that would be important.

 

Dear Man: And I don’t think it’s just man to woman. I think it’s also man to man and woman to woman. As human beings, we need to believe that we are viable to the tribe. Sexual.

 

Dear Womn: I think I’m getting your point. But do you think it’s possible to be considered sexual without trying to take it to the next stage, of having sex?

 

Dear Man: I not only think so, I believe we need to teach people that flirting and granting others the blessing of knowing that they’re part of the race, and they’re not a bunch of trolls or tree stumps, is necessary to their self-worth, without communicating that every boost of confidence is making a pass at someone.

 

Dear Woman: I think women do that to men by expressing admiration and respect.

 

Dear Man: I think it’s the same thing for women. Women want to be admired and respected.

 

Dear Woman: So what happens if the “Flirty Thirty” is misinterpreted, and you get other people jealous or it leads to a bunch of affairs?

 

Dear Man: Well, it does. That’s the problem. Because we’ve declared a war between the genders, we have begun to believe that the only thing that unites us is a mutual interest in sex. So we try to live on 30 percent of a relationship, which causes more romantic collisions than true encounters of mutual understanding.

 

Dear Woman: So what you’re saying is that if you flirt with me, you’re not saying you want to go to bed, you’re granting me the gift of knowing that you don’t find me repulsive, and you’re fully aware that somebody might want to go to bed with me?

 

Dear Man: Yeah, that’s kind of it. And the reason I say that men do it to men is because we have this phrase, “he’s a man’s man”–which really means that men think he’s so manly that they’re sure women would want him.

 

Dear Woman: And with women to women, it’s the imitation one woman has of another woman’s approach, which flatters her sexuality.

 

Dear Man: Yeah, I think so.

 

Dear Woman: So why don’t people talk about the Flirty Thirty?

 

Dear Man: Because they either put too much emphasis on sex or they approach it too casually, instead of realizing that the value of our sexuality is to become better humans.

 

Dear Woman: So what you’re saying is, if I don’t think I’m sexy, I may not have the oom-pah to give a damn about much of anything else.

 

Dear Man: Yeah. It may sound shallow, but it’s true. I need to feel attractive to attract, so that I can discover the real attractions of life.

 

Dear Woman: That was nicely said. So we’ve got the Flirty Thirty–what about the other 70 percent?

 

Dear Man: That’s enough for now, cutie.

 

Dear Woman: Cutie? You know, you’re right. It works.

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Common “Since” … December 31, 2012

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Layovers.

For several years I toured the country by air–right before flying the skies began to resemble a prison transfer bus, complete with cramped quarters, armed guards and frisking. Like everyone else, I always found layovers to be unpleasant. After all, getting into that big, long tube once to fly non-stop to your destination is the ideal, but is occasionally impossible because your destination may be a smaller city or you may need a more reasonable ticket.airplane on the tarmac

So rather than complaining about layovers, I tried to start using them as a vehicle to attempt a productive project. Sometimes I tried to hook up with the people I knew in the town where I was going to spend a couple of hours and have conversations, or purposely plan a writing pursuit to fill the time. I became very aware of a phenomenon in human life which we shall refer to as the “since-then” syndrome.

“Since I’m stuck in an airport, then I choose to do the following…”

“Since my tire is flat and I’m going to be late, then I will change my plans and do this different thing…”

“Since I didn’t get the original amount of money I intended to receive, then I will adjust my budget to make it appear that I’m solvent…”

It is probably one of the most powerful principles you can teach to yourself and others in order to maintain the decorum which allows you the dignity to survive adversity and await the next opportunity that sprouts the unplanned-for blessing.

I ran across this same philosophy yesterday in Boynton Beach, Florida, at my gig. The pastor of the church told a story about a woman with a brain tumor, who developed the further complication of bleeding on the brain. The family, rather than looking on it as a setback, was grateful–because the bleeding was treatable, and in the process of taking care of that particular difficulty, they were praying that in some way the brain tumor itself would be addressed or perhaps even eliminated.

Now, the normal reaction from the average person to this kind of idea would range from admiration to mocking. But really, neither of those takes on the situation are on point with the value of their thinking. What I heard was that this family understood the “since-then” concept. We all have things happen to us that we have little control over–except to meter our reaction in the direction of the continuation of life rather than complaining about our lot.

I thought it was brilliant. It is actually a perfect example of faith. For after all, faith is not a foolish whim spoken into the wind in a dreamy sort of psychotic haze. Faith is accepting what has come our way, yet believing that God is looking for a path to increase our possibilities instead of limiting us.

I went Christmas shopping three times this year. I haven’t done that in five years. I gleefully go grocery shopping every week now. I found that very painful to accomplish over the past couple of years. All of these things are made possible because when I discovered my knees were failing, rather than giving up on my potential, I merely sat down in a wheelchair, and in so doing, increased my range. Since I am presently mobile only by using wheels on a chair, then I will take that new mobility and use it as proficiently–and frequently–as possible. I could even fly again if I want to.

See how it works? Since I am here, then I will do this. Since I write a daily column, instead of fretting over whether anybody reads it, then I will do my best, knowing that at least I have a strong readership in the heavens.

Of course, the supreme example of this is Jesus, who was given a cross–and since he was, then he turned it into salvation.

Layovers–you can either take the time to look at your watch … or use the time to watch and look.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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