Three Ways to Make a Friend Last…April 23, 2015

 

  Jonathots Daily Blog

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old friends

Merely relying on affection to maintain a relationship will exhaust the closeness.

It takes more than that.

For after all, human passion ebbs and flows. If you want to make sure the person you care deeply for is around for a long time, you need to instill values that incite longevity.

  1. Remember what your friend says and likes.

The quickest way to terminate a relationship is to stop listening to the preferences of your acquaintance. People make it clear what they like. People make it clear that they want to be heard. If you’re aware of what people enjoy because you listen to what they say instead of assuming that you know better, you greatly increase the potential of maintaining good fellowship.

  1. Remember to listen for a question before offering your opinion.

Sometimes people want to vent, not hear your sermon. A sounding board does not require a microphone. In other words, often in a friendship you are a pair of ears which purposely has closed up your mouth.

Only when people ask a question and inquire of your insight should you offer an opinion.

This is why our children can never be our friends. We must instruct them even when they don’t want to hear what we have to say. But our friends are not our children. We must grant them the respect of asking instead of being told.

       3. Remember to forget.

One of the more beautiful parts of repentance is the ointment of forgetfulness that is served up to complete the healing. No one ever truly heals until they press ahead to new projects which take them further and further away from the pain.

A friend should always let you–or even help you–create distance from your latest stupidity.

Anyone who constantly reminds you of your failures or warns you to be careful all the time is taking you out of the best aspects of your game and sidelining you as second string.

But until we remember what our friend likes, to only offer an opinion when asked, and to forget the mistakes that have crossed the path, we will lurk as an adversary instead of an advocates. 

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Published in: on April 23, 2015 at 12:41 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Populie: Children Are a Blessing … October 8, 2014

Jonathots Daily Blog

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baby and mama bear

For every person who loves a baby and refers to the child as a bundle of joy, you will soon find that same individual talking about “the terrible twos,” lamenting “angry adolescence,” and producing an off-spring into the world of “grumbling grown-ups.”

Religion loves the populie of “children are a blessing.” Matter of fact, it’s the easiest way to get people to clap their hands in church–announce the birth of a baby.

Entertainment loves to tell stories of people who had trouble finding children, acquiring children or birthing children and have, through some miracle, been able to have one of their own or adopt one, which brought consolation to their household.

Of course, politics jumps in with its approval because being “pro-family” is a great way to get elected.

  • But children are not born for our pleasure.
  • Children are not jewelry created to adorn the costume of our lives.
  • Children are not proof that our love is intact or that we’re virile.

Children are the means by which the natural order populates the Earth, to eventually get rid of you and me and make room for “he and she.”

To refer to children as “a blessing” and then merely sit them down in front of a television set to be indoctrinated makes us poor stewards of the opportunity.

There’s nothing special about having a kid. The whole process is very primeval. We have decided it’s beautiful because our arrogance will not allow us to admit that cows, bears and whales do it.

But after the cigars are passed around, we need to transform this pink, pudgy creature into a human being before he or she ends up acting like a gorilla.

These are the steps involved in turning the birth of a baby into the blessing of a human:

1. Nurture them.

At first, all they need are hugs and milk. Oh, yes, you may want to change their diapers, too.

2. Encourage their curiosity.

The best way to make disobedient children is to ignore their questions.

3. Channel them towards empathy and gratitude.

You cannot raise a human being if you do not teach him to feel for others and be grateful for what comes his way.

4. Force them to communicate.

Yes, I use the word “force.” A reluctance to talk will inevitably set in. When you add a computer, a phone, an I-pod and Netflix, you have pretty much eliminated their will to converse. You must intervene or you will put them at the mercy society.

5. Let them find and experience a faith which is real to them, not borrowed from others.

6. Don’t be afraid of sexuality. They won’t.

7. Have a defining moment when you have the confidence to allow your child to stop being a deduction and become your adult friend.

Children are not a blessing simply because they arrive. Actually, they are destined to become selfish, cheaters and liars … unless they are guided onto a path of human understanding. 

 

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