1 Thing You Can Do to Start Having the Best Christmas Ever

Stop Being So Religious

It is really annoying.

You don’t have to purify the occasion by talking so much about it being Jesus’ birthday, or saying “Happy birthday, Jesus.”

You won’t win over a generation of cynics by imagining a huge cake with 2019 candles on it.

I caution my friends in the faith to do something very helpful in learning how to truly be a Christian.

Sit down every once in a while and just read the Good News.

There is an incident mentioned, in which the disciples of Jesus came upon a fellow who was having a real good time—celebrating off of the Nazarene’s success. Yet he was not giving any real credit to Jesus himself.

They confronted him, scolding him and saying he needed to come over and follow Jesus and do things the right way. Lo and behold, this independent spirit refused.

Well, the disciples ran back to Jesus in a full-blown-church-lady tizzy. “How dare he snub us and not give honor to you?”

They thought Jesus would rebuke the fellow, or perhaps even kill him for his insolence. Instead, Jesus said, “Leave the dude alone. For those who are not against us are for us.”

Yes, that person at the mall who only loves Christmas because he gets 80% off on electronic devices—he’s one of us.

And the family down the street who look on the December celebration as a commemoration of the Winter Solstice—they are with us.

And all the elves, Santa Clauses, mistletoe, fir trees, choirs, fundraisers and decorated plazas—they are with us, too.

It doesn’t matter what they call it.

It doesn’t matter if you think they don’t offer enough respect to the Bethlehem baby.

For one month out of the year, we stop teaching, breaching, preaching and impeaching and allow ourselves to consider “peace on Earth, goodwill toward men.”

Whatever wisdom people come up with themselves for December 25^th, it will lead them to the Star in Bethlehem.

 

1 Thing You Need to Know This Week

There is no success without overcoming

You will not be able to overwhelm the whole world

You can’t overtake everyone in the competition

You won’t walk on water, so don’t go overboard

People are not afraid of your overwrought reaction

Overcomplicated is a real turn-off

Overlooking is flat-out annoying

Change is to come. Get over yourself.

Find your weakness, and deal with it before you find yourself over the hill.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

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Cracked 5 … September 26th, 2017

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Jonathots Daily Blog

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Various Ways You Know It Is Fall

A. Annoying young people at churches are trying to sell you pumpkins

 

B. College football returns, with too much attention being placed on boys who still use pimple cream

 

C. You are told that donuts and cider go together

 

D. There is a chilling in the air that you have to start scraping off your windshield

 

E. The trees publicly give up hope and drop their leaves

 

 

 

Good News and Better News… June 19th, 2017

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Dislike–deciding to “diss” liking.

In the pursuit of what we call love, and even unconditional love, we’ve reached a point where we just don’t like each other anymore. We have the appearance of Atlas carrying the world on our shoulders because we feel compelled by our civilized natures to be as calm as possible.

We “diss” liking. We claim great affection for souls around us while privately rolling our eyes, communicating that they are annoying.

So when I arrived yesterday morning at the Ruskin United Methodist Church, I was looking for people who like each other. Because here’s the truth–a paraphrase of John the Apostle: I don’t think you can love God if you don’t like people.

It seems that God is really proud of His creation.

I know we portray an anxious deity, constantly perturbed over our sins, but since He gave us the ability and even the permission, I seriously doubt that He will be terribly upset when we occasionally go errant.

The greatest arrogance, the most self-righteousness, and perhaps the sin of all sins, is to believe that human beings are not worth liking.

• It’s in our government.
• It’s in our religious system.
• It’s in our movies.

We are training ourselves to be suspicious, and failing to acquire great moments of human fellowship that just demand a little bit of mercy and grace.

I’m not one to advocate looking in the rear view mirror and assuming that the past was better than the present, but I will tell you, if there was any era when people were given the chance to excel without being pre-judged, then we might want to reach back into that span of time and regain some of that tenderness.

For the good news is, God likes people.

And the better news is, He loves those who like them, too.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

 

Ask Jonathots … September 10th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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I am a fourteen year old boy and have a little brother who is 8. I may sound like a whiner, but my parents act like he can do no wrong. If he breaks something, it’s my fault because I let him pick it up. If he wants more time on X-Box, I have to give it to him. When I say they’re not being fair, they say that I should be mature enough to understand that he’s just 8. But he’s turning into a brat and I’m getting mad. What can I do?

Being fourteen years old, let me clue you into a valuable lesson. You are old enough and smart enough to understand that not every problem in life can be resolved. Matter of fact, true maturity is understanding that most problems in life get handled by being avoided.

The situation with your little brother is very simple–he is secretly your fan, but could never express that without coming across as appreciative or loving. So instead, he follows you around and try to take over what you are doing or what you’re playing with so that he can be close to you but also dominate the situation.

Since your parents believe that he is the younger and therefore weaker brother and you should adjust your life to him, then you should be smart enough to adjust what you do to control his attitudes.

For instance, if you’re not interested in playing X-box, then sit down and start playing it and let him come and take it away from you. Then go do what you really wanted to do.

You may even want to explain to your mother and father what you’ll be doing, so that they can note that your little brother may have the problem of just wanting to be aggravating instead of desiring to be involved.

You can’t stop a little brother who wants to be annoying. What you can do is channel his interest in a direction that you’ve selected, and trap him in his own decision to pursue it.

Let me give you another quick example.

Let’s say you want to watch a show on TV that comes on at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Here’s what you know–if you try to watch this show and your little brother knows it’s your favorite, he may decide to be mean-spirited about it, come in and change the channel, and then hide behind your mother’s interference.

So if your goal is to watch the show, make a plan to get him involved in something else. And then explain to your mother that you plan on watching this show, so that she can see your little brother in action.

You will never solve this problem by trying to change your brother’s attitude or by disciplining him yourself.

Get him to focus on what you want him to focus on, and then maybe he’ll leave you alone. If he doesn’t, make sure your mom and dad know what your intentions are, so they can see the little fella being selfish.

Parents tend to support the weaker child in a family. Honestly, it’s not terribly intelligent. Weakness is not strengthened by being supported, but rather, by being challenged.

So help your mom and dad understand that you are dealing with a little brother who is trying to be aggravating to get attention. Do this by trapping him in a situation where he shows his true colors. Then your parents will do the rest.

Remember, the key in life is not to out-muscle problems … the key is to out-smart them.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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Untotaled: Stepping 1 … February 8, 2014

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(Transcript)

December 18th, 1963.

It was my twelfth birthday. Twelve years of age is such an annoying station of life. You’re not a kid, not a teenager, not an adult, not … anything.

You are stuck in some sort of limbo between a former oblivion and what might be an emerging consciousness. This grants you the ignoble position of being invisible.

My mother gave me a birthday present of one pound of pickle pimento loaf, purchased from Dick’s Market. It was not a slight nor an insult, but rather, a gracious response to my request. I loved pickle pimento loaf. Sweet pickles, pimentos with red dots pretending to have taste, surrounded by bologna. And it was beautifully presented–white butcher paper with some holiday scotch tape holding the package together, sporting holly and bells. After all, it was the season to be jolly.

And for the next fifteen minutes of consumption of the delicious treat, I was. Jolly, that is. It was so good that I ate it all in one sitting.

It was a confirmation of both my birthday and for a lifestyle choice–to be a fat person. Yet I needed that present to prepare me–anesthetize me–for the arrive of Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Benny.

They were coming to celebrate my birthday. Actually, no such jubilation was possible. Aunt Myrtle didn’t like me–always displaying a half-smile pasted below her German nose, prepared to turn into a full-fledged snarl at any moment. Uncle Benny, on the other hand, had his emotional backbone removed decades earlier, and more recently, a similar operation snipping his vocal chords.

You see, Aunt Myrtle had a favorite word.

“Tidy.” To this day I hate that term–tidy. Up-tight and makes me want to die. Ti-dee.

She had three criticisms which she rattled off immediately upon seeing me.

• Your shirt tail’s hanging out.
• Your fingernails are too long.
• Stop slouching.

But in commemoration of my birthday, she added a fourth complaint. Out of the great, cloudy sky of her demeanor, she suddenly asked me, “Do you use deoderant?”

She went on to explain that I was becoming “a little man” and that my body excreted odors displeasing to others. She offered to bring me a tube of her favorite roll-on the next time she came.

Something snapped inside me. I needed to get out of that room. I knew the best way to achieve the purpose was to become insolent, so that my parents would dismiss me. So I asked Aunt Myrtle, “Do you like me?”

Shocked, she replied, “Well, I love you.”

I didn’t miss a beat. “Aunt Myrtle, it would be better if you liked me.”

This simple exchange seemed to set the whole conclave ablaze with disapproval. I was quickly sent to my room, banished from any further proceedings. I feigned disappointmend and arriving in my cave of seclusion, I shut the door and leaned my back against it.

Still lying on my bed was that wonderful white butcher paper, torn asunder. I eased my way over and lay down next to the present. I sniffed the paper for its former contents.

“You are empty, butcher paper,” I said, cuddling closer.

And so am I.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

Click for details on the SpirTed 2014 presentation

Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.

click to hear music from Spirited 2014