Good News and Better News… July 17th, 2017

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Church attendance is dropping.

The statement is so widely accepted that no one is objecting, nor considering the ramifications.

We are absolutely terrified if the ocelot become an endangered species, but barely flick an eyebrow over losing an intricate part of our society–the church.

Those who hate the church smile in a bit of wistful glee, and those who still attend look around at the empty room, shrug their shoulders and quietly head to the altar for communion.

If the American church dissipates to nothing, what are we losing?

We are forfeiting a place where once a week we can come and admit that we’re sinners. The humility does us good.

Also, it’s a location where we can rejoice over being forgiven.

Where else in America do you sit in a room and sing with other people?

How about the message? A lesson on the power of good.

It gives us the chance to be quiet. Everything roars around us–and we have a tendency to roar back.

When I was growing up, I was suddenly around kids from other school districts, who became my “church friends.”

It gives me a chance to think about possibilities other than myself.

While I’m trying to stay awake, I have the realization that I’m part of something.

I have to look for a shirt that matches my socks.

I find myself giving.

I also am put in the position to receive.

I’m actually leaving my home for something other than shopping, games, movies and dinner.

I am in a room full of people who will pray for me.

When church is done right, I can question. I can doubt. I can shout.

I can see, hear, feel and touch the gospel.

We certainly should be concerned about baby seals–they are a part of creation.

But if we allow the church to go the way of the dodo bird, we should stop wondering why things are not flying high and straight.

The good news is, there is still a church out there.

The better news is, that church is waiting for our unique input.

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Ask Jonathots… June 23rd, 2016

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In this political season, I find myself thinking about the issue of lying. We point fingers–but at the same time, accept the notion that “all politicians lie.” And I must admit, I’ve told my share of whoppers. So what is the truth about lying? Is it possible to live life without doing it?

Telling the truth is not a virtue.

It’s not like giving to the poor, sacrificing one’s life for your country or even rescuing baby seals from the Canadians.

Telling the truth is an issue of survival. It is essential to accomplishing our goals.

So is the truth built into the natural order?

Yes. Because when the truth is not told, there is no way to adequately proceed with our lives–the premise we’re basing everything on is sand instead of rock.

In other words, someone might turn to me and say, “Do you think you can drive to Albuquerque by next Thursday?”

If my immediate response is yes, without checking the mileage, then I easily make myself a liar when Thursday rolls around and I have not arrived in Albuquerque.

It may sound noble to ask people to tell the truth. But every human being wants to look like he or she is at the top of their game–always putting their best foot forward. This nurtures lying.

The best way to escape lying is to learn the majesty of three responses:

1. I don’t know.

You can avoid about 50% of your lying by being willing to admit that you don’t know. With the availability of the Internet, “I don’t know” does not mean you will remain ignorant. It just means you are not going to lie.

2. I’ve never done it before.

A good portion of our lying is in the arena of the false promotion of our efforts and background. If you’ve never done it before, that does not mean you don’t get to do it now–it just means that those who are asking you to participate should be aware that they are dealing with a novice.

3. I’m not so sure this is something I like.

Politeness contributes to a huge portion of the lying that goes on. If something doesn’t ring your bell, you need to let people know before your bell is “ringless.” This kind of candor will free you of many ridiculous commitments, which you will end up pursuing begrudgingly.

So the first fruits of the truth is to acquire these three intelligent answers.

In doing so, you buy yourself time to learn, consider and be motivated toward enthusiasm.

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Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!

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Cracked 5 … May 10th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Ways to Avoid Getting a Speeding Ticket

A. Don’t speed.

Yes, but it is the vanilla selection in a Baskin-Robbins of citation snippers.

 

B. Drive drunk.

A bold choice, “Bomberinski!” Considering the possibilities of death by car and vehicular homicide, it just might draw attention away from your zooming, with a DUI, which certainly is hysterically historical.

 

C. The old “speed blabber.”

When detained by Patrolman Bob, start babbling incoherently about racing off to save baby seals in the Gulf of Wikiwonton. You will spend some time in the “Crazy Box”–but no speeding ticket.

 

D. Speed of light.

Coppy can’t fine what coppy can’t catch. Baby, the Force is you.

 

E. Flashback.

Tell the Smokey that last year, your wife had a baby on this very freeway, and you were too slow to get to the hospital. Today as you were driving, it was like it was happening again. (Begin pounding the steering wheel.) “I was there, man. Do you feel me?? I was there!”

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My Old Dog… October 23, 2012

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Live from October 1st filming

His name was Madez.I sure did love that old dog–as much as one is able to express deep affection to a mere mutt. He was a house dog. During his stay on this planet, he lived a life of luxury, seemingly having an opinion on every household matter and settling in on his favorite places to slumber, which was often and frequent.

But once a day he enjoyed going out and roaming through our back yard into a nearby woods, pretending he was actually a viable member of the animal kingdom. He usually was not gone very long–thirty minutes or so–but on one particular afternoon he didn’t return for several hours and we became a little concerned about his whereabouts. Just before sunset, there was the familiar scratching on our front door, informing us that His Majesty was ready to reenter his castle.

I went to the door and absent-mindedly almost opened it to let him in, but in the nick of time, looked down to discover that he was covered in sticky burrs, had ticks all over him and what appeared to be fleas leaping from his nose to his head with a daredevil tumble to his backside. Madez tried to push on through the opening and enter as if there was no problem whatsoever. I was appalled and instinctively shut the door, unfortunately catching the tip of his nose and inviting a most ungodly yelp. I apologized for my lack of consideration, but made it clear to him that I had no intention of letting him into the house in his condition. He didn’t understand.

So as I tried to figure out which one of my children I was going to burden with the job of de-burring, de-ticking and de-fleaing our dog, he perched himself outside the door and began to whine and bark for entrance into the house, which was his domain.

You see, I couldn’t do it. Even though the old dog was fine, the friends he had picked up on his little journey were not welcome in my abode. They were back-biting, blood-sucking sticklers that had no business being in a civilized environment. Madez had to be quarantined for a while to be made suitable to enter his original domicile.

I want you to keep this story in mind as I explain my next point. As I watched the two old dogs square off last night during the debate at Lynn College, I realized that these two gentlemen were fine men–individuals I would be more than happy to count as friends and even comrades. What bothers me is that both of them have been walking out in the woods of their particular party affiliation and now are trying to get back into my life, carrying all of their fleas, ticks and burrs.

Yes, the problem with electing a President in this country is that he, and hopefully someday she, is associated with many back-biting, blood-sucking sticklers, who have an agenda of their own that is not inclusive of everyone else. It makes these two old dogs dangerous to us. Even though we may love them, we can’t let them bring the forest vermin into our house of freedom. It’s just not going to work.

So my dear friends, it’s not so much what Mitt Romney or Barack Obama are going to do if they are President of the United States that concerns me. If I can be candid with you, many of those decisions are already pre-determined or set in motion, as you could tell last night, when they ended up agreeing on more matters of foreign policy than being in dissension. The problem lies with the nastiness and short-sighted creatures that cling to their coats and come into that oval office with them, demanding that their specific special interests be given more attention than is really necessary or due.

Yes, I think a decision for President this year is based upon what fleas, ticks and burrs you think will be easiest to remove from your favorite old dog.

With Romney, you get the Christian Coalition, the Tea Party, anti-abortion, the NRA … well, I could go on. Each one of these organizations has an agenda that is very specific and unfortunately, fails to pass all of the standards of American inclusion and personal freedom. Also, I must be honest–they infest the fur and hide of Mr. Romney.

On the other hand, Barack Obama is surrounded by liberalism, over-dependence on government programs, pseudo-intellectualism and often more concern for baby seals than babies in the womb. These advocates, which cling to the carcass of Mr. Obama, are equally as dangerous to general inclusion and freedom.

The pestilence on Mr. Romney would love to get rid of all liberals, the state of California and most of the east coast.

The nasty bugs on Mr. Obama have a hankering to believe that everyone south of New York City is a hillbilly.

They are dangerous. Both of them.

So there really are only two questions. Number one: which one of these men is going to have the greatest ability and backbone, to stand up to the blood-sucking, back-biting sticklers from his own party and do what is right for all the American people? Number Two–which one of these men can grow in maturity with the office and become a statesman rather than a mouthpiece for this brief season for his political brotherhood?

For to be a good President is always to lose the support of your own people, and even for a season, to baffle the will of the nation. Just ask Abraham Lincoln, as he struggled over the issue of slavery.

You see, I couldn’t let Madez in my house until he was cleansed of all his unrighteousness. And we can’t let Mitt Romney into the White House until we’re certain that he won’t bring all of his “bugs” with him. Likewise, we must not allow Barack Obama to continue to be President until we’re confident that he’s been de-loused.

The choice is simple. Who will have the guts to sit out on the porch and allow himself to be shampooed and made worthy to enter the White House? And who is so tied up with his own walk in the woods that he demands entrance without being freed?

There you go, friends. By the way, it took one of my sons about an hour and a half to get Madez ready for the house again–and honestly, for two or three days after, we still found an occasional pesky flea and a perseverant tick. All of them had to be removed so that our dog was worthy of his surroundings.

And in like manner, all of these pests will have to be removed to make sure that one of these men is worthy of the White House.

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