Cracked 5 … February 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Upcoming Disney Movie Releases

 

A. FOG

(A beautiful princess finds herself trapped in a bank of fog which extends for hundreds of miles. She is befriended by a kind stranger whom she cannot see, who aids her to travel to clearer skies. The stranger ends up being a six-foot-tall lizard. He reaches out for appreciation and she screams in horror and runs back into the fog.)

 

B. WILLIE WEASEL

(Willie the Weasel, who has a great hunger to eat chickens, is guided to new understanding by Harriet the Hen, who teaches him the joy of the “voyage to vegan.”)

 

C. JELLY BELLY

(A host of angry jellyfish take over the ocean blue, scaring all the fishes in the sea until Petey, the Puff Fish, finds out they’re not really mean–just have very bad gas. Tums for all the jelly-bellies, and the maritime is at peace.)

 

D. STAR WERES

(Abandoned characters from Star Wars are living on the street, homeless, plotting how they can use The Force to get some bread.)

 

E. JO-JO BLACK AND THE SEVEN MORPHS

(Queen Jo-Jo Black from the ghetto hooks up with seven members of a gang–the Morphs–who can shape-change to rap tunes. Together they work to bring “good to the hood.”)

 

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Jesonian–Troubling (Part 11)… September 9th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Most troubling.

I was a very naive, impressionable fifteen-year-old boy with a volatile battle between carnality and spirituality raging in my soul. I was very enamored with the pastor of my local church.

He had baptized me. In many ways, he had befriended me. And he had welcomed me into the small-town church, which was now growing because young people were bumping up against each other, carrying the fellowship they felt at school into a second Sunday morning experience.

I had also made another friend. He was a young minister from a different denomination–a forbidden one–who was cool, cared about me and loved rock and roll music.

So when I was talking to the pastor of my “every week church” about this young fellow, he suddenly frowned and warned, “Stay away from him. He preaches a social gospel.

I did not know what that meant, nor did I ask. But it sounded really bad. And the delivery was enough to nearly make my heart stop. “Social” could be “socialist,” which was communist. Don’t want any of that. So I cut off all ties with the young minister, much to his chagrin.

For you see, my pastor taught redemption. “The blood of Christ cleanses from all sins.”

And later on in my life, as a young man, I ran across those who preached “the full Gospel.” They believed that the gifts of the Holy Spirit and miracles were just as available to believers today as they were in the time of Peter, Paul and Mother Mary.

The bizarre fact is that these three renditions of the Gospel of Jesus–social, redemption, and full–don’t generally get along very well.

It is troubling.

It’s what makes the evangelical church anemic–because it lacks social passion along with personal motivation.

It makes the “social Gospel people” appear to read from a book that in many ways they no longer believe in.

And often the “full Gospel people” contend that without the baptism of the Holy Spirit, you don’t have the presence of God working in your life.

It’s really quite befuddling.

  • Because you can’t start a fire with just a match.
  • Nor can you ignite a flame with kindling.
  • And no fire is possible minus oxygen.

It is the joining of all these forces that makes fire ablaze.

Therefore, to follow Jesus, you must have a social consciousness that shares a redemptive message, believing that God is still in the business of healing and moving by the Spirit.

Why would we want anything less than that? Why would we want to focus on one of these factors of fire, yet end up flameless?

Troubling.

I deeply believe in the social Gospel of Jesus. I believe there’s no need for me to bring my gift to the altar if I am not reconciled with my brothers and sisters. I believe I am to be the salt of the Earth and the light of the world.

But I also believe that when I have obvious, evident weakness, it is the redemption of God’s grace, through the life-saving blood of Jesus, that pulls me through. But once I am redeemed, I am compelled, challenged and exhorted to trust that the same spirit that dwelt in Christ also dwells in me.

My gospel should be full.

And when it is full, redemptive and socially aware, I become of value to myself, mankind and the heavens.

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Confessing … October 24th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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XXV.

I confess so I can heal.

If I deny, I remain sick.

I was the chief “piety” officer for a crew of young swabs who also viewed themselves as aspiring artists.

We also were certain that we were better Christians because we had a “heart for the poor.” We sought out opportunities to benefit those in poverty in our community, thinking that we had become the right arm of Jesus of Nazareth.

Things went along pretty well until the little dab we were able to do was not sufficient to cover the chasm of lack that existed among the locals.

One day a woman came and asked me if she could get some help. She was in tears–nearly hysterical–as she explained that her rent was due, her children without food and her electricity was about to be turned off.

She needed $480.

We had never donated that much before, but she touched my heart.

So I decided to go see an elderly couple who had befriended me, named the O’Dells.

They had taken a liking to me and even invited me to come to their church once a month to share my thoughts and feelings. So great was their generosity that they purchased me a suit so I would be correctly attired for these visitations.

Thinking to myself that the O’Dells might not wish to finance this woman’s need without another reason, I decided to lie to them. I told them that I needed the $480 for a small surgical procedure.

I think they knew I was misleading them, but they reluctantly agreed and loaned me the money.

You see, I made it a loan because the lady had told me that she had government assistance arriving in the next few weeks and would pay me back. I believed her.

When I presented her with the finance, she fell on my neck in tears, declaring me everything possible short of divine.

I was absorbed in my own sense of importance.

Three weeks passed, then a month–and my lady never showed up. I went searching for her and discovered that she was gone.

Possessing a childish nature, I decided to avoid the O’Dells and not tell them about my dilemma. I even cancelled speaking at the church so as not to encounter them.

It was almost two months later that I was walking through the local mall and ran headlong into them. They asked me how I had been, since they were concerned about my “surgical procedure.”

I decided to come clean and tell them the whole story. I concluded my tale by apologizing for the fact that I did not have the money to pay them back.

Mr. O’Dell said that it was not about the money–they just loved me, and were very hurt that I had deceived them.

Mrs. O’Dell gave me a hug and walked away sadly.

It was ten years later that I got together a little finance and sought out the O’Dells in an attempt to pay them back for their generosity, but they had passed on to their well-deserved reward.

I learned much from that experience.

Jesus told us that the poor don’t ever go away, so we should make sure that we take care of our own affairs–and then, if we have abundance, give generously, but responsibly, to the need.

I had no right to borrow money to appear magnanimous. I hurt two people to help one.

It’s not a good trade.

 

confessing old couple

 

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