Jonathots Daily Blog
(2732)
XXV.
I confess so I can heal.
If I deny, I remain sick.
I was the chief “piety” officer for a crew of young swabs who also viewed themselves as aspiring artists.
We also were certain that we were better Christians because we had a “heart for the poor.” We sought out opportunities to benefit those in poverty in our community, thinking that we had become the right arm of Jesus of Nazareth.
Things went along pretty well until the little dab we were able to do was not sufficient to cover the chasm of lack that existed among the locals.
One day a woman came and asked me if she could get some help. She was in tears–nearly hysterical–as she explained that her rent was due, her children without food and her electricity was about to be turned off.
She needed $480.
We had never donated that much before, but she touched my heart.
So I decided to go see an elderly couple who had befriended me, named the O’Dells.
They had taken a liking to me and even invited me to come to their church once a month to share my thoughts and feelings. So great was their generosity that they purchased me a suit so I would be correctly attired for these visitations.
Thinking to myself that the O’Dells might not wish to finance this woman’s need without another reason, I decided to lie to them. I told them that I needed the $480 for a small surgical procedure.
I think they knew I was misleading them, but they reluctantly agreed and loaned me the money.
You see, I made it a loan because the lady had told me that she had government assistance arriving in the next few weeks and would pay me back. I believed her.
When I presented her with the finance, she fell on my neck in tears, declaring me everything possible short of divine.
I was absorbed in my own sense of importance.
Three weeks passed, then a month–and my lady never showed up. I went searching for her and discovered that she was gone.
Possessing a childish nature, I decided to avoid the O’Dells and not tell them about my dilemma. I even cancelled speaking at the church so as not to encounter them.
It was almost two months later that I was walking through the local mall and ran headlong into them. They asked me how I had been, since they were concerned about my “surgical procedure.”
I decided to come clean and tell them the whole story. I concluded my tale by apologizing for the fact that I did not have the money to pay them back.
Mr. O’Dell said that it was not about the money–they just loved me, and were very hurt that I had deceived them.
Mrs. O’Dell gave me a hug and walked away sadly.
It was ten years later that I got together a little finance and sought out the O’Dells in an attempt to pay them back for their generosity, but they had passed on to their well-deserved reward.
I learned much from that experience.
Jesus told us that the poor don’t ever go away, so we should make sure that we take care of our own affairs–and then, if we have abundance, give generously, but responsibly, to the need.
I had no right to borrow money to appear magnanimous. I hurt two people to help one.
It’s not a good trade.
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