Jonathots Daily Blog
(3999)
I, too, have no collusion with rushin’.
Slow down
That’s what I say.
Slow-cooked chicken. Give the bird a chance to reflect on its journey before you dip it in the gravy.
I like the slow lane on the freeway, just in case, on a whim, I decide to exit.
I’m the guy you honk at because I’m going the speed limit
And for some goddamn reason this has ruined your life.
I had to quit football because there was running. I loved the blocking. I loved the tackling. Looked pretty good in the uniform. I could not convince my coach that running was unnecessary. He explained that the other team would have people carrying the ball, and we must chase them, and stop them. I suggested we surround them and move in slowly for the kill. He didn’t agree.
I was at a department store yesterday, entering the door, when two ladies in front of us stopped to chat with a friend. It blocked the entrance. I was happy. For a few moments I didn’t have to move.
The lady right in front of me, turned and peered at me, hoping to get support for how stupid it was for these two women to be talking to another human, blocking her progress. She move her cart around them, but there was no room. Finally the two women who were having the delightful conversation realized they were being assaulted from the rear and stepped aside.
The lady zoomed by, disgusted.
She’s fast.
I’m not. All my turtles win by a “hare.”
So you can imagine how ill-suited I am for a season in which how speedily things are accomplished is more important than the quality of what is produced. I dare to say that’s the entire problem in our nation.
We have the evangelical church, which is racing around looking for signs of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ, while young people are testing the temperature and depth of the oceans, convinced we’re all in hot water, preparing to cook like lobsters.
Here I am, slowing down
We have picked our past four Presidents because they were like fast cars and we were acting like teenagers.
Bill Clinton was not ready to be President. He and his wife had not yet made their peace about his flirtations and womanizing.
George W. Bush should never have been President. We should have put him in charge of CIA Black Ops, and he could have murdered Saddam Hussein, which would have saved tens of thousands of lives and about a trillion dollars.
Barack Obama was also ill-prepared for the transition. Although a pleasant man, he did not understand the futility that had to be overcome to lead the country and fell victim to cunning minds.
And Donald Trump was doing extraordinarily well working with buildings and an “Apprentice” here and there, without being given a job which cannot always be negotiated through “The Art of the Deal.”
It was all too fast
And because of that, we are in the midst of an ongoing “clean-up on Aisle 3,” with mistakes being made which don’t seem to mop up.
So not being in a hurry to give my opinion, and allowing myself a space of time to think, I will tell you…
(to be continued)
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity
Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast
Jonathots Daily Blog 
Sit Down Comedy … September 27th, 2019
Jonathots Daily Blog
(4180)
Today I would like to use my pulpit of potential—my moment in minutia—to give tribute to the most truthful man in Washington, D.C.:
President Donald J. Trump
For certainly, there’s no way to call a man a liar who has already bragged about how much he enjoys lying.
You will never convict him of his mistruths when he let you know from the very beginning that he missed out on truth some time ago and selected a different path. Matter of fact, in his 1985 book, “Art of the Deal,” he contended (and I quote), “I play to people’s fantasies. People may not always think big themselves, but they can still get very excited by those who do. That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts.”
He has made clear what he means by “hyperbole.”
And if you aren’t sure, his consort, Kelly Ann Conway, named the practice “Alternative Facts.” Alternative Facts is merely offering a different rendition of the information provided—one that better suits your own purposes. After people hear the Alternative Facts, they begin to blend them with other reports, which eventually becomes what we call a “news story.” Then folks like us come along and pick out our favorite rendition from the buffet of possibilities.
In 2016, Donald Trump’s competitor was Hillary Clinton, who on the other hand, proclaimed herself squeaky clean.
When it was discovered she wasn’t quite as cleansed as reported, she chose to follow the philosophy of her husband, Bill, who insisted that when accusations are made against you, “always deny.”
So the God-fearing, hardworking American people were given a choice between an accomplished liar and a proficient denier.
So the situation is, for every three hundred alternative facts that President Trump may offer, there can always be found ten missteps, mistakes and misrepresentations from an opponent. The only difference is, the pronounced liar doesn’t have to repent because he’s already warned. But the one who has done the missteps—who has proclaimed him or herself pure and truthful—must decide whether to come clean or pick up a copy of “Art of the Deal” and apply his or her application of “hyperbole.”
Actually, we should be ashamed of ourselves for impeaching a man who is so obvious with us that he came down the escalator calling Mexicans rapists, explaining how simple it was to grab unwilling pussy and was fully capable of multiplying the attendance numbers at any event.
After all, Secretary Clinton continued to stand by her man—who denied his sins against the nation—placing the blame on Monica Lewinsky, a twenty-one-year-old impressionable internist crawling under his desk, trying to do her part for the country.
Who should be impeached is simple: the American voter.
Since the founding of the country, we have well known that the common person has no right, privilege or sense to select the uncommon leader of the Free World.
No intelligent corporation allows the rank and file to choose the CEO.
President of the United States is a job, not a position.
It requires a willingness to learn, savvy, personality, gentleness, intensity and above all, a passion to hear the ideas of other people and sift through them until logic emerges.
But since we are determined to extol the beauty of the vote—and then worse, place the final responsibility on the Electoral College (which is similar to a Milton Bradley board game) we are stuck with winners who are alluring instead of enduring.
I want each and every liberal to stop calling Donald Trump a liar and instead, refer to him as a “fulfiller.” He has fulfilled exactly what he set out to do, which is make himself the sole spokesman for our country.
And I want the right wing to be candid—the interest they have in Donald Trump is similar to how each and every one of us wanted to goof around with the “really bad kid” in high school, even though our parents warned us against him. But even though we appreciated goodness (kind of) but were convinced that Bad Boy was more fun.
To summarize:
God has not called Donald Trump to lead our nation.
God has not called any of the other twenty-two candidates from the Democratic Party to lead our nation.
God is not calling anyone.
God has provided science, a beautiful planet, and great human beings around us, hoping that we can use these elements to start making positive choices and value the currency of our words.
So please, stop believing that those who say they always tell the truth actually do.
And cease getting angry with a man who is comfortable in his own skin—being deceptive.
So I will close this by saying, we must cease attempting to impeach a man who thinks he is doing what he considers the best thing possible.
If you don’t want someone who shares Alternative Facts, vote him out next election.
If you’re worried that he’s going to win the country over again with his Alternative Facts, then you need to work on the conscience of your brothers and sisters instead of trying to make all the little pigs frightened of the Big Bad Wolf.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this inspirational opportunity
Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast
Share this:
Like this:
- Sit Down Comedy
on September 27, 2019 at 7:24 pm Comments (1)Tags: Alternative Facts, American voters, Art of the Deal, Bill Clinton, CEO, electoral college, Hillary Clinton, hyperbole, impeachment, Kelly Anne Conway, leader of the Free World, left wing, liar, Milton Bradley board game, Monica Lewinsky, political commentary, President Donald J. Trump, Presidential Elections, rapists, right wing, Sit Down Comedy