Sit Down Comedy … March 20th, 2020

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The natural order did not feel that plaguing us with a Presidential election was enough. Apparently, what was needed was a virus, which has scared us all into our corners to ruminate. I don’t know about you, but I have found that rumination is a skill that demands tremendous effort, patience and a certain degree of intelligence.

So it will be difficult to assess how long we will all be able to sustain our positions—until, like all creatures great and small, we try to fight our way free because we’ve been cornered.

I rely on a practice which I’ve used daily for many years. It seems on point for this situation. I call it:

“The Ten Questions I Ask Myself Every Day.”

Honestly, on some occasions, I don’t spend much time musing over them. But I do have them written down, and I do take the space to respect the exercise, and at least afford some sort of answer.

I thought you might be interested in them, and if you aren’t, this is an excellent place to stop reading.

****

1.Why in the hell are you so afraid?

(Remember, I’m asking myself.)

Fear is one of those luxuries we afford ourselves, even though we know it has no value. After all, there are rumors that individuals have been scared to death, but never any reports of humans being scared to life.

2. Can you identify your prejudice?

This forces me to admit that I am still prejudiced, even though I’ve worked on it. But since my upbringing was mostly out of my control until my late teens, I accumulated a lot of misinformation that still needs to be rummaged through and placed in the garbage heap.

3. Can you work on your diet without cheating?

I’m a big, fat boy, so I am constantly dieting. But even if I were slender, I would still have to work on my diet to ensure I maintain my nutrition, so I could use my vitamins and minerals to fight off…viruses.

But can I do what I do without cheating? And by cheating, I mean making promises to myself that I know I will not keep.

4. Can you stop lying?

Of course I can.

Actually, when you boil down the hours, minutes and seconds it takes to maintain a life of lies, it is much more time-intensive to be a deceiver than a truth-teller. I guess the question is, can I finally convince myself that I’m always going to get caught in my lie.

5. Can you slow down without stopping?

I know this sounds a little weird, but often we feel we have two gears: a dead stop or a deadly speed. Sometimes it’s good to know how to do a little less but still make it look like it’s the same amount. It’s in the slow-downed times that we discover the things that are worth speeding up for.

6. Can you consider multiplying your talents?

The deadliest words that can come off anybody’s lips are, “I don’t have any talent.”

We all do. It’s just the difference between having a single stick and two sticks. One stick is usually a weapon. Two sticks can be rubbed together to make a fire.

Can I take my abilities to make more abilities, so I will have the ability to survive?

7. Are you always attempting to maintain good cheer?

It’s important to know what good cheer is. It’s not a facial expression, nor a giggle, nor a spate of silliness. Good cheer is honestly knowing that fear and bitching will get you nowhere. So you might as well manufacture a better outlook.

8. Can you avoid arguing with people and just live out your heart?

We argue because we want people to approve us.

I’m not going to argue with you. I know what’s in my heart. I know it’s not going to hurt anybody, and I have a pretty good idea how to live it out.

9. What does love look like today?

Love looks different every single day. Sometimes it’s stealing kisses. Other times it’s giving space. Frequently, it’s quietly respecting without inserting an opinion. And on occasion, it’s intervening.

Wisdom is knowing which love to use today.

10. And finally, did you murder, blame and shame?

I become completely useless when I blame the world around me for my circumstances. And I topple from useless into despair when I take all the shame upon myself.

I don’t care who’s to blame.

And I will not allow you to place the shame on me.

***

Now, I realize this is a lot of questions.

But the answers don’t have to be long, and when you finish, you will find yourself thoughtful.

And it is my experience that thoughtful never hurt anyone.

Thoughtless is the culprit.

 

 

1 Thing You Can Do That Astounds the World Around You

Take Responsibility

It’s not difficult.

You’ll be surprised—it’s not as painful as it sounds.

You can do it at home, on the job, or anywhere human beings gather.

If it hurts, you can cry. If you’re confident, you can stand steady.

Matter of fact, there must be twenty ways to leave your mistake:

“It was me.”

“My bad.”

“Buck stops here…”

“Look no further. ‘Twas I.”

“My doing.”

“I own that.”

“No excuses.”

“Back to the drawing board.”

“Oops.”

“That’s got my fingerprints all over it.”

“Plan B.”

“That one’s gonna smell.”

“You got me.”

“I dropped the ball.”

“Not my finest hour.”

“My blame. No shame.”

“I’m your huckleberry.”

“I failed.”

“Crash and burn.”

“I ate the apple.”

Pick one.

They’ve been used over the years by many intelligent individuals who wanted to avoid the stupidity of lying, cheating and accusing others.

And by the way—you get a gift.

Here it is:

You aren’t exposed, you don’t have to hide and if you confess, you can be healed.

 

 

3 Things … July 25th, 2019

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That Breed Racism

1. Too much interest in ancestry or culture

 

2. Looking for someone to blame for your setbacks

 

3. Religion

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Sit Down Comedy … January 25th, 2019

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TAKING ON TWO THINGS

I like to work on two things and give myself four days.

When I do it this way, it becomes more of a lark instead of a project. Working on myself cannot be a project, or I tend to become defensive, and when I fall short of my own goals, blame others around me for the failure.

I don’t like to work on one thing—then there’s too much focus, and disappointment follows if that single item is not addressed well. And taking on three things is not ambitious—it’s the kind of arrogance that Mother Nature likes to slap your hand for and put you in the corner, on time out.

But if I can find two simple things to address in a ninety-six-hour period, I can rub them up against each other, and they will start competing for first place in productivity. Now, I’m not talking about big things. If you’re a liar, you probably shouldn’t swear off lying and think that in four days you’ll overcome your Pinocchio spirit. Or if you’re dealing with some sort of addiction, ninety-six hours will just bring you to the place of having a gnawing brain and a twitchy body.

I’m speaking about the areas where we interact with other people, and the quirks we possess that hold us back from achieving even what we want to do.

If you take four days, pick two of these and find a way to keep a sense of humor about back-sliding, you’ll be astounded at how much progress you can make, and how the evidence of improvement is nearly enough to convert you to your own move of faith.

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Cracked 5 … May 29th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

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Ways You Can Tell a Washington Politician is Lying

A. He offers an explanation before an answer

 

B. He drinks water between answers

 

C. He wears a blue or red tie

 

D. He brought with him a staff member to blame

 

E. His comb-over seems “poofier”

 

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G-Poppers … October 21st, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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G-Pop’s thought for the day:

Stop explaining.

Don’t do it yourself and certainly quit demanding it of others.

Explaining leads to lying, lying ends up in mistrust and mistrust is the seed that sprouts hate.

It is very important to understand human beings:

1. Human beings make mistakes.
2. Human beings are selfish.
3. Human beings insist they don’t make mistakes and are not selfish.

So if you ask one of your fellow-travelers about a mistake that was made or a piece of selfishness you encountered, they will definitely explain how you misunderstand.

The best way to live this Earthly life is to answer yes and no.

“Who ate the last doughnut?”

I did.

Truthfully, most people won’t leave it at that. They will ask why or sometimes even how it happened. If you give in to the temptation to produce a storyline about your clumsiness or lack of attention, you will probably find yourself, like Brother Adam and Sister Eve, making really lame excuses and eventually pointing fingers at each other.

Because of that profile, Adam and Eve went from being prosperous gardeners to “Paradise Lost.”

The more explaining you do, the more you try to convince yourself that you’re a victim of unusual circumstances.

No one buys it, no one believes it and everyone is quietly thinking to themselves, “Please shut the hell up.”

One of the greatest ways to contribute to the peace and harmony of Earth is to stop explaining and certainly refuse to make others go through the agony of the process.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … August 24th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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The Dignity of Every Mortal

I always flip so I won’t flop

I continue the drip until my last drop

I dream ’til I smile to forget for a while

That I am a jerk, churning out work

 

I seek for a sign to challenge the Divine

Wondering why, yet failing to try

I simply maintain and choose to refrain

Life is the same–I’m not to blame.

 

I yearn for a kiss–and then I miss

The lips of my steady, I’m never quite ready

To pucker and peck–oh, what the heck

It drives me insane, so then I complain.

 

I refuse to address my unholy mess

But grumble at others, pronouncing my druthers

Looking for an excuse to justify my misuse

Master of my fate, unless it’s second-rate

 

So often caught and trapped in my thought

Perceiving myself wise, snagged by my lies

Yet humble becomes the heavenly portal

To save the dignity of every mortal.

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Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

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