Cracked 5 … April 17th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

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Other segments and pieces of information that did not make the final edit of James Comey’s book, “A Higher Loyalty”

A.  It was formerly known as the “Federal Investigation Bureau,” but the acronym, F. I. B., seemed telling

 

B.  Although Comey is six feet, eight inches tall, he apparently cannot execute a “slam-dunk”

 

C.  It is amazing how many opinions Comey had that he failed to share with President Trump

 

D.  The publisher considered entitling Comey’s book, “Look at Me–I’m Important,” but settled for “A Higher Loyalty”

 

E.  Too tall, Comey was never able to go undercover–just cover-all

 

Quatrain of Modern Government… October 15, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Of the people

By the book

For the politics

With mounting discord.

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Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about personal appearances or scheduling an event

Excuse Me… March 14, 2013

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Excuse me, Tree. When did you bloom? Hours earlier you were barren, devoid of bud, and now, in a full array of leaves.

Excuse me, Blackbird. How did you fly from that second branch skyward, perching on top of the wire dangling in the air?

Excuse me, Ma’am. How do you do it? Tend to your children’s whims, while pursuing womanly dreams?

Excuse me, Brother. I am so sorry for the hot-shots who are so busy discussing billions and billions that they didn’t notice that you were $83.14 shy on your rent this month.

Excuse me, Sun. Where did you go? It has been so cold for so long. Now the warmth gradually returns with renewed vigor.

Excuse me, Book. Would you tell me a story? Your words become feelings, transforming into ideas and projecting them in my mind as visions unimagined by Hollywood.

Excuse me, Rain. What a wonder you are! Somewhere between my head and the earth, you change from a nuisance to nourishment.

Excuse me, God. Where have You been? Much has happened. Did You notice? Is it a plan set before us or merely an atmosphere for human choice? We do welcome You, if You are still interested.

Excuse me, Tree, Blackbird, Ma’am, Brother, Sun, Book, Rain and God. I fear I have been a bit absent–in more than mind. I am back now. I will do my part. Watch me.

You will be proud.

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god-awful … January 4, 2013

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Sticking ones head into a book brings a very limited scope of possibility, even if it happens to be the Good Book.

I need to realize this on my 2013 quest to become more childlike in my faith. One of the worst ways to believe is to have a screwed-up concept of God. You would actually be better off having no God at all than having a god-awful one.

A childlike faith tells me that above all else, if I’m going to continue to believe in God, I need to understand the importance of disregarding anybody who wants to make Him awful–and that’s by either definition–awful in the sense of “filled with mystery and wonder,” and also awful in the aspect of having a really bad attitude and not liking anyone.

Here are the three things I know about children in relation to belief. Children require comprehension. You can tell them stories, but you’d better be prepared to answer questions about your little tales. The minute you tell a child that there’s a God, he or she will ask you three quick questions. (1) Where is God? (2) Who made God? and (3) Why doesn’t God do more to make things better?

Even a six-year-old knows that you are confused and avoiding the issue if you answer each of those questions with, “We don’t exactly understand–and that’s why they call it faith.”

So in my childlike mind for 2013, I answered those questions–really simply.

1. Where is God? Everywhere, especially in and around those who are ready to meet needs and have needs.

2. Who made God? God is a Spirit, and therefore, He blows toward the next point of need, so probably somewhere along the line, God made God because there was a need to do so.

3. Why doesn’t God do more? We return to our premise–God is a Spirit. He has a heart and a soul, seeking out people with minds and bodies who are willing to become God to the people around them.

The second thing I need as a childlike believer is to know the difference between Jack and Jonah. Jack and the Beanstalk and Jonah in the whale sound very similar to an eight-year-old mind. I do not try to explain to myself why Jack climbed the beanstalk and destroyed the giant. I also do not try to explain to anyone whether Jonah actually spent three days in the belly of a whale. The message I got from Jack and the beanstalk is that magic beans just bring more trouble. And the message I get from Jonah and the whale is that running away from the needs of your fellow-human beings does not eliminate the pain.

The reason we’re losing young people to agnosticism is because we want them to laugh off Jack and the Beanstalk, and revere Jonah in the whale. Good luck with that.

And finally, children need to be told that faith in God is the pursuit of an earthly heaven. Keeping a child’s mind in the clouds is an invitation to making him or her lazy, indifferent and non-productive. My childlike faith demands that I understand and apply that I am here to see God’s will done on earth as it is in heaven.

So to review my three notions:

• God is a Spirit.
• I don’t plan on debating whether Jonah lived in a whale, but rather, intend on retrieving the powerful message of the tale.
• And finally, I will not wait for heaven to see heavenly things done. I will use my life here on earth to simulate my own desire.

There you go.

It begins with rejecting all religion and theology that is god-awful. Get your head out of the book, start looking for the Spirit of God, don’t argue about the Bible, and bring a little bit of heaven down to earth.

You will become a child–ready to romp and play in the Kingdom of God.

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Great Combos … August 8, 2012

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sunshine, shade tree, cool breeze, frosty glass of drink

good friends, no place to go, conversation, peace of mind

warm tortilla chips, chunky salsa, a dribble of guacamole, a funny movie

a quick prayer, chill down the spine, a possibility, hope

a homeless friend, two bucks, stop for a moment, honked at from the rear

an idea, a better thought, recalling, avoiding stupidity

a favorite song, singing loud, hitting the high note, rock star

a kiss, warm and tender, sweet breath, lingering

watching a kid, see him play, giggle inside, time travel

bad television, change channels, no luck, grab a book

church, humming hymns, candles won’t light, laughter and God

driving, country roads, take me home, to a place I belong

me, you, honesty, clean

steak, charred, medium rare, a little salty

tight pants, two weeks, try again, a passable fit

love, misunderstanding, discussion, greater love

birth, life, children, immortality

sleepy, silly, dozy, passed out

Johann, Wyeth, Justice, Lily, Isabella, GRAND KIDS

morning, twenty ounces of water, breakfast, jonathots

an idea, an opening, a flurry of words, a screenplay

GREAT COMBOS

like …

Father, Son, Holy One … and little ole’ me

 

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