Cracked 5 … May 30th, 2017

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 Jonathots Daily Blog

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What the Fellow Did With His Collection of Hats After Discovering That His Hair Had Miraculously Started Growing Again

A.  Gave them to miracle-deprived, hairless hombres

 

B.  Used the hats in the bucket brigade to put out fires

 

C.  Made a great condom dispenser next to his bed

 

D.  Trimmed the hats to fit on the heads of frustrated bald eagles

 

E.  Ran through the meadow with a hat in hand, high in the air, gathering love vibrations from butterflies and bees, to present to his easily impressed young niece

 

Good News and Better News… November 23rd, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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There is a church in Lawrence.

I know this to be true because I was there just yesterday.

It is filled with beautifully flawed people–the kind God really loves. For after all, when we insist we’re beautiful, but without flaw, we become obnoxious to everyone we encounter. And when we spend too much time bowing our heads, feeling we are flawed without beauty, we make our Creator look like a failure.

Yes, coming to the end of another year of traveling across the country, I will tell you: humanity is a holy mess.

We are butterflies, still trying to tote our cocoons. It keeps us from flying high in the sky where our colors can be seen.

The people of Lawrence, like all the folks I’ve met this year, are absolutely outstanding, industrious, faithful and willing–but still unfortunately held in check by the burden and the beast of religion. They are so close to being free. Really, they’re just two steps away.

I spent the morning trying to convince them that those two steps were well worth the effort. It’s the same message Jesus had for religious people in his day, who were frightened of the terrorism of the zealots and angry with the Roman government.

Jesus told the people they were the “salt of the earth” and not to worry so much about the world around them, but instead, to focus on the emerging talent and ability within them. Most of them were unable to make the transition.

Yes, may I say to my dear friends in Lawrence: you are merely two steps away from the message of Jesus, to cut the cord of your cocoon so you can soar like butterflies.

All you have to do is get rid of superstition and bondage to the Old Testament.

For superstition makes us believe that God is angry with mankind, when Jesus told us he loves the world; and the Old Testament is filled with the same type of Sharia Law that insists women are inferior and that stealing and adultery are mistakes punishable by death.

The reason Jesus is powerful is because he does not expect human beings to become righteous. He challenges us to respect one another, and therefore become human beings.

Lawrence, I tell you that I love you dearly, as I adore all of the congregations I encountered this year across America.

But butterflies were meant to stream across the sky, not to stay earthbound …  fearful of climbing.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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Met More for Us … December 11, 2013

Jonathots Daily Blog

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A caterpillar is just a maggot who has purchased a really nice coat.

Both of ’em are larvae–larvae being that phase in which something that’s come out of an egg is trying to resemble what it eventually needs to be.

Human beings are no different.

One of the reasons I believe in a Creator is that there is so much of birds, amphibians, cattle and monkeys in the human being, that you can see that God reached the end of His evolutionary fit, and just threw everything in the pot and made human goulash.

And this is why we love babies. It’s the egg phase. They’re cute, we can pretend they’re going to grow up and become great people, and we even distinguish their drool from the spittle of our next door neighbor’s offspring.

Then … they become maggots.

Somewhere between the age of thirteen and thirty, these little wunderkinds transform into ugly, creeping, crawling, cheating guppies.

We lament.

We decry.

We complain to our neighbors, seeking comfort because this “glob of goo” couldn’t possibly have come from our loins.

Time passes. They have children, cocooning themselves within a house, a mortgage, credit card bills and elongated PTA meetings.

Here’s the problem: nobody ever makes it out of the pupae to become a damn butterfly. Human beings seem to stop in the cocoon phase, encased.

So we’re cute as babies, ugly as adolescents and young adults, and trapped as grown-ups.

Where are the butterflies? Where is the beauty, flight and excitement that explains why the whole process was initiated in the first place?

In nature we refer to it as metamorphoses–but what I want you to understand is this: in our species, it’s met more for us.

God never expected our lives to end when we birthed our first child. We are inteded to take the new generation and teach by example how to fly off in the direction of our dreams.

Last night I sat at a table with my twenty-four-year-old son, celebrating his birthday. I suppose, to some people, it would look like he was in his larval phase. He is.

Perhaps in a couple of years he may even be embarrassed by some of his current choices, and cocoon in a relationship and a family. But if he’s going to be truly spiritual and whole, he will emerge from that cocoon in a wave of repentance–and soar.

• I was an egg.
• I was a really despicable maggot.
• I cocooned in my soul to regenerate my hopes.

And now, by the grace of God and the beauty of determination … I am a Monarch.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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