Sit Down Comedy … June 12th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Sit Down Comedy

If the world were a rainbow, I would swim in its swirling colors.

If the world were a promise, I would keep it.

If a song, I would write my own chorus.

A hope—I would find a way to start.

If the world were a pizza topping, I would pick something double-cheesy.

If the world were a thought, I would think it out to joy.

If a dream, I would live the parts I can do.

A sport, I would toss the ball at the goal until I made my points.

If the world were a political party, it would have no name, no agenda—just a heart.

The world, as a hat, would be a cowboy.

If the world were a wish, I would find my part and tenaciously pursue.

If the world were a piece of advice, it would be, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

As a kiss: soft, lingering, with heads turning halfway through the caress.

If the world were a question—”why not?”

An ice cream? Rocky Road one day, Cookies ’n Cream the next.

If the world were a fruit, it would be cherries—so bring your bowl.

A vegetable? It would “cauliflower” and present a blossom.

And if this old world of ours were a statement, it would say:

“To finish requires you begin.”

Cracked 5 … April 25th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Cracked 5

Reasons That Cauliflower Should Not be Put in Pizza Dough

A. It’s just naturally a little stinky, stinky, big-butt

 

B. Although white, it doesn’t seem to possess the “privilege”

 

C.  Just because it has “flower” in its name doesn’t really make it flour

 

D. People try to escape the taste by adding more fatty cheese and greasy sausage

 

E.   God is really pissed.

 

 

Cracked 5 … August 7th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3758)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Plans, Schemes and Promotions Organized by Vegetables to Help Promote Their Brand

A. Hail a Cabbage!

 

B. Lettuce Love One Another

 

C. Broccoli–Never Grew On Bush (George Herbert 41)

 

D. Caul-i-flower Bouquet

 

E. Corn–We’re All Ears

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