Sit Down Comedy … September 11th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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I don’t feel good.

But I’m suspicious.

Both about feeling and about good.

Feeling seems to have such great promise until it arrives with its anemic personality and unnatural bend to the dark side.

It can’t be trusted.

First and foremost, it is not satisfied to just have a feeling—but instead, offers a diagnosis.

What I feel may be just a burpless bouncing of discomfort between my shoulder blades but is interpreted in my strain of brain as a pending heart attack.

I may just be a little breathless, but this is translated as respiratory failure.

Maybe lazy has won the day but it’s so much easier to declare it a pending crazy.

But I definitely don’t feel good.

How can I tell?

I’ve altered my schedule—my Holy of Holies.

Normally, after my kitty-kat nap, I go into the bathroom, piss and brush my teeth before heading into the music room to begin my afternoon writing session.

I did not piss, nor did I brush.

I came right to the music room and was no bettered by deleting efforts.

Something’s wrong.

Now, there is a beauty to this—and there is an ugliness.

Let me begin with the ugliness.

The ugliness is that I can accidentally sustain this feeling of uncertainty by fostering self-pity.

I can baby myself right back into the nursery.

I can convince myself of all sorts of pending gloom and doom.

Why? Because I’m fat.

That means every chest discomfort could be a coronary.

Every breathless exhibition is my BMI trying to smother me.

And every single pain that might exist in my legs is my aging, tackling me for the grave.

So you see, if I don’t get out of this mode, it will turn into a bad mood and it can mold my whole evening.

So I come into the music room to talk to you about it today.

I am not anticipating sympathy.

I’m not requiring that you confirm your mercy in my direction.

I’m using you as a sounding board. Maybe abusing you would be more accurate.

Because I don’t feel good.

But I will tell you that even as I talk to you about this, I feel a little bit better.

That little tiny headachy part in the front of my brow is gradually dissipating.

I know it’s nothing serious—I know I’ve underdone something, when overdoing would have been welcome.

Or I’ve overdone a plate of something when a saucer was in order.

But it doesn’t make it any easier.

I am fully aware that I am childish about my concerns and need to at least deduct the “hypo” off of my “chondria.”

Also—I owe myself a piss and a brush.

When will that happen? Is that gone for all time? Have I robbed my self of a urination and a tooth cleansing?

You can see, it can become very complicated.

I don’t feel good.

I don’t think it’s going to end with my demise.

But I have to admit, there are times it does reprise,

And is important for me to know how to surmise.

 

Sensitize … July 15th, 2020

SENSITIZE 47

Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his friends.

Today: In 1909 the NAACP was founded, and nobody tried to change it to the NAAAP. Listen up.

Click the picture below to see the video

The F Word … March 12th, 2019

THE

WORD

I was there, live and in person, when “golly” surrendered, without a shot, to “OMG.” Oh, My God.

Likewise, when “Geez” transformed into “Jesus H. Christ.”

Darn it, after that, “heck” didn’t have a chance. “Damn” and “hell” reigned supreme for quite a season.

Then people stopped referring to the “butt of a joke” and screamed at you to “get off your ass.”

Time passed.

It seemed like “give a shit” would hang around, but the times, they are a’changin’.

Here comes “what the fuck.”

“Fuck” is like an old friend who got lost in the wilderness but came back into the house, was ready to sleep on the sofa and willing to throw in a few bucks for pizza.

It stuck closer than a brother.

It became a noun, an adjective, a verb, an interjection—and I do believe I have even heard it used, from time to time, as an adverb: (“…he said fuckily…”)

This disturbs many people, who yearn for the time when language was carefully watched by censoring forces who desired that anything untoward would not cross the ears of young children, or even mature adults.

We most certainly know that Rhett Butler would never say, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” if he was able to let Scarlett know that he didn’t “give a fuck.”

It is not the profanity of f-u-c-k that makes it particularly nasty. Although overused, it is not the foulness of the word that creates a problem. It’s just that on the journey from “golly” to “fuck” we got angrier.

We’re not using the language to be clever or cute. We’re using the word because we’re more pissed off than we used to be.

We even tease with a friendly “fuck” to remind people that just beneath the surface is a bubbling oil, ready to spill out and burn anyone in sight if they dare cross our path.

It would be absolutely fine if we could “fuck this, fuck that” and “fuck the other” if it was accompanied by a smile instead of gritting teeth.

It may be necessary to back off the language just to give us the chance to regain some civility. Because you can tell me I’m dumb all day long and I may not like it, but if you tell me to go fuck myself, we’re at war.

So let us not be childish.

First, let’s not be Puritans, pretending that language can be controlled and taken back to an 1853 purity.

But also, let’s not be so idiotic as to assume that the rampant use of more and more “fucks” in our society does not mean that we’ve lost control and no longer have the ability to deal rationally with each other, without tempers flaring.

So the F word is “fuck”

This is not because it’s particularly profane, but because it is a precursor to violent behavior.

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Jesonian … October 30th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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(tap the picture to see the video)

The disciples of Jesus decided that children had no business hanging around with the big, important people who were doing big, important things for God in a big, important way.

After all, they were kids and all they wanted to do was have fun, and such jubilation is often an unwelcome interruption to austerity.

They decided, as grownups, in a mature way, that they would make an adult provision to eliminate these brats, as they frowned from their ancient faces.

Jesus disagreed.

He explained that the message of the Gospel is for children, and the goal was not to make younger people act older, but to make older people act younger.

It’s amazing that his message is now celebrated by those who are on the verge of death instead of those who are just beginning their lives.

Jesus had a children’s message because he said we’re all supposed to become children.

It’s the only way to escape growing up, being mean and acting childish.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … March 14th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Since Life is a Picnic

A frog doesn’t complain

about its slimy skin

instead, leaps for joy

considering this a win

an elephant refuses to fuss

over its big, fat butt

nor a squirrel ever cuss

just enjoys the nut

a giraffe shall not fret

over a really long neck

just take what you get

oh, what the heck

nor does a dog growl

because it’s not a cat

never on the prowl

barking is where it’s at

this silly verse won’t quit

just because it’s childish

but instead, insists you sit

and relax, feeling mildish

God doesn’t curse

or ever wish to damn

but instead, offers verse

the lion with the lamb

His eye is on the sparrow

I know He watches me

on the strait and narrow

is where I need to be

so be still my soul

and never say “can’t”

since life is a picnic

pretend you’re an ant

 

 

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Ask Jonathots … June 2nd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2953)

I keep hearing from pundits that “Americans are angry.” Do you think this is true? If so, what do you think is the source of this frustration?

Every coin has two sides. The problem with America today is a two-sided coin.

This is the source of what most people are referring to as “anger,” which really is nothing more than a tantrum.

Here’s the two-sided coin:

1. “It’s not my fault.”
2. “God will take care of it.”

Both of these statements are inherently flawed, and therefore often lead to unsatisfactory conclusions, which can cause people to develop a childish rant.

Let’s start with the first one.

The problems in our lives to some degree always involve our own lacking, procrastination, indifference, laziness or bigotry. If you can convince someone that “it’s not their fault,” then they can start looking for an enemy.

On the other hand, the second assertion–that God will take care of everything–has generated false hope. God did not create anything that does not have to participate in life. Humans are no different.

So it’s not so much that people are angry, but rather, that they’re experiencing the symptoms of seven-year-old tantrums, brought on by the fear of being held responsible or the errant promise of God taking care of everything. When these fail, frustration sets in.

So what can be done about this?

First, we have to stop legitimizing childish behavior. We have to take authority over our lives by admitting our part in the problem.

Then I think we need to teach those who seek a spiritual aspect that God is always prepared to give us wisdom, but rarely offers free checks in the mail.

Just enacting these two simple ideas would remove most of the attitude in this country which we have dubbed “anger,” and would replace it with a new feeling of good cheer, because we would be empowered to negotiate in our own lives instead of always looking for someone to blame or some heavenly being to take over our mess.

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G-Poppers … February 19th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2849)

G-Pop wonders if the current crop of ears listening to the corny dialogue from the field of candidates is totally aware of the dangers.

Would they even consider the insights of a young preacher from 2000 years ago, who warned that his generation was like a bunch of “children sitting in the marketplace”–the message being that since they’re children, they aren’t ready for the marketplace, but instead, better suited for the playground?

So the danger in politics and religion is that we end up with a clump of childish scoundrels. It’s difficult to look at them as criminals because they are so inexperienced, but impossible to consider them viable, since they are so bratty.

The definition of childish is anyone who thinks their feelings are more important than the truth.

So when you look at Marco, Hillary, Ted, Ben, Jeb, Bernie, Donald and John, you realize that each one has some endearing qualities which are certainly tainted by a fussy need to come across superior.

We must understand that superior is only achieved when inferior is confronted and corrected.

So what should be the profile of those who desire to rule over us and reign in the “land of the free and the home of the brave?”

A simple phrase:

“I am capable.”

• I am capable of good things, which my campaign manager will now recite to you in detail.
• I am capable of bad things, which my opponents will soon find, so to free them from that exhausting task, I will confess myself.
• And I am capable of learning by listening to the wisdom of others and their counsel, and adjusting myself to the reality of the present predicament.

These candidates want to express their readiness–yet no one is ready to be President of the United States. The job description changes daily, with the focus landing squarely on varied skills at a moment’s notice. You cannot prepare for such a mission. What you need to do is learn to submit to each situation as it arises.

I am capable.

“I am capable of good things, bad things and learning better things.”

G-Pop does not have any desire to endorse a candidate, but he’s happy to tell you that the wisdom expressed by that itinerant teacher 2000 years ago still holds true.

Children in the marketplace will turn childish when confronted by difficulty.

Escaping childishness requires that we humble ourselves by celebrating the good, acknowledging the bad … and arriving, every day, with a willing attitude.

 

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