Cracked 5 … December 21st, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4265)

Other Explanations for Noises “Up on the Housetop”

 

A.  Huge Babylonian rats in your attic

 

B.  Your son has crawled out a window and is smoking crack next to the chimney

 

C.  Shingles falling off because you were too cheap to do repair

 

D.  Frozen squirrels falling from the trees and bouncing off before smacking the ground

 

E.  Another amateur landing by Old Red Nose

Cracked 5 … December 15th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3886)

Things to Do When They Start Singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

A.  Fake a heart attack

 

B.  Belch out “Five Golden Rings”

 

C.  Mess with the words so they send you out of the room

 

D.  Clap your hands like there’s a beat

 

E.  Vomit

art by smarrttie panntts

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Cracked 5 … December 8th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3879)

Signs Santa is Depressed

A.  Burns his workout video

B.  Demands Rudolph get a nose job

C. Mocks the stupid letters he receives

D. More nog than egg

E. Puts things up high where the elves can’t reach them

 

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this inspirational opportunity 

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