Sit Down Comedy … July 17th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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July 17^th, 2015

Just five years ago.

I was still traveling on the road with Janet, putting on our programs of music and message. We had situated ourselves in the state of Wisconsin for two months, landing in Madison for two weeks of touring. I was touting the publication of two new books.

We were faring well, the weather was beautiful, and the airwaves were filled with information about upcoming pro football schedules and college gridiron action, with baseball playing in the background.

The politics were snippy but still civil, with an occasional reference to the next year’s Presidential campaign.

People were friendly.

Not as friendly as they had been when Ms. Clazzy and I began our escapades two decades earlier. There was a core of “disgruntled” trying to surface but was quelled by the beauty of the Earth, the simplicity of a good hamburger and being able, in the summertime, to buy a nice watermelon for two bucks.

I woke up this morning in Florida, feeling much the same as I did five years ago in Wisconsin.

But it is not the same.

The Earth has changed—not just our society or our nation. It’s not merely a regional war raging somewhere, threatening global turmoil.

The Earth is vexed, and the vexation is upon us all.

From my position five years ago in the Dairy State, holding my two new books, I could never have imagined our country having tens of thousands of people die within a six month period from a marauding virus, with businesses shut down, schools closed, and the entire community of my brothers and sisters wearing masks.

Just five years earlier, we might have giggled in bewilderment at seeing some prig donning one to go to the grocery store due to pollution.

Where there used to be debate there is now debacle—a breaking down of communication into snips, snipes and snotty retorts.

Cameras have stopped rolling in Hollywood, forcing us all into a claustrophobic world of viewing everything around us through our computer cams.

The wars that were started in the Middle East still rage, with the addition of threatening flare-ups. Who would have guessed that Russia would be back, vying to be a world power, or that North Korea, with its little dictator, would have a seat at the table, complaining about the meal provided?

Would there have been some question in our minds five years ago concerning our European allies?

Would we have been involved in a great debate over climate change instead of attempting, in some small way, to address our portion?

We were not better people in 2015.

We were just blessed with a better world.

Now that the Earth itself has chosen to become incorrigible and is desperately in need of people to parent it into necessary submission, we are at the mercy of governmental brats and political tyrants.

If this were an earthquake, we might want to look for an epicenter.

If this were a hurricane, we’d fly over it to find the eye.

What has transformed our world from a fussy little planet into a dangerous, out-of-control time bomb, seemingly eager to destroy us all?

It’s time for people who value sanity to remember what grants us such peace of mind. We must find the key to the door.

We should welcome a season of returning to the basics.

We must legitimately answer the three questions that can transform us from any fiasco and place us on a path of salvation:

1. What do I need to stop doing to contribute to this chaos?
2. What do I need to start doing to minister to the chaos and make it better?
3. What do we all need to employ, to do a better job of saving our best friend—the Planet Earth?

 

Sensitize … (May 30th, 2020)

SENSITIZE 1

Every morning, Mr. Cring takes a personal moment with his audience.

Click the picture below to see the video

 

1 Thing You Can Do to Ease Your Mind … March 30th, 2020

 

Believe in Free Will

If it’s any comfort to you, God does.

God doesn’t have a plan for your life. He’s given you a beautiful life for your plan.

God does not have a will that He wishes you to pursue to some destiny.

Your life has not been mapped out.

Demons are not meeting in the Netherworld to plot your destruction.

The Universe, the Earth, the Creator and the Cosmos are not trying to teach us a lesson through climate change or pandemics.

This is still in your control.

Although the scenes may change, the dialogue, costumes and characters you wish you join you in your performance are completely at your disposal.

There is no future because you have not yet decided what it should be.

There is a past—and you should not waste your free will to relive it continually in fear or guilt.

The next move is yours.

After all, how much do you really expect God to do, leaving you jobless?

What will your free will be during this season of abstract destruction and infirmity in our world?

Are you looking for someone to blame?

Are you blaming someone because they’re looking in your direction?

Ease your mind.

You have free will.

You can use it however you feel inspired to do so.

Just keep in mind:

The Earth is always in pursuit of justice, so what you sow you will certainly reap.

The Earth is in need of great caretakers, so don’t ignore the cries of nature through foolhardy behavior.

We can come out of this as long as we understand that free will reigns supreme.

Therefore, we aren’t at the mercy of an angry God, a frustrated ecosystem or a Master Plot to destroy the world from the Eastern Lands.

1 Thing You Can Do to Gain the Lasting Respect of Others

Be Straight

Stop trying to make the facts conform to your conviction.

Don’t merely pull out statistics to support your assertion.

Don’t quote the scriptures to confirm your theology.

And stop smirking because you’re convinced that the word “straight” cannot be used for anything other than the opposite of “gay.”

Come with me and we’ll practice:

Abortion kills something.

Religion has very little to do with faith.

Brain injuries are horrible and shouldn’t be marginalized.

The founding fathers warned against religion as much as they praised it.

Guns don’t control themselves.

North Korea is not a Superpower.

Climate change is real enough that we need to get real about it.

Drugs are dangerous—all drugs.

Poverty will not go away. Do what you can.

Wealth is all in who has it.

As far as gender, it does take two to make one.

Concerning race, no one is better than anyone else.

The truth is not here to confirm your theory, politics, theology or prejudice.

The truth is here to free us from stupidity.

1 Thing You Can Do to Assist in the Climate Crisis

Stop Announcing the End of the World

It just isn’t sexy.

Dead polar bears, melting ice caps and flooding cities may be what you believe we’re heading toward, but it is not the way to get the attention of a human being.

We should have learned that by now.

Don’t you just hate listening to a librarian who complains that no one wants to read books anymore? You want to say, “Shut up. Entice me. Seduce me. Give me a little foreplay before you insert the old Shakespeare.”

How about a corporation which is constantly threatening to go bankrupt? It’s so bad that the employees talk to you about it as you check out with your purchases. Here’s a clue: go bankrupt or go big.

Stop complaining.

I, for one, am disgusted with political parties telling me that if the other side wins, hell will not only break loose, but will spill all over my coffee table.

• Tell me what you want to do.
• Tell me who you are.
• Tell the truth.

Let the chips fall where they may.

And finally, I would certainly think we should have learned from religion, which constantly squawks, like Chicken Little, that the “sky is falling” and “the devil done did it agin.” I can’t see the devil, so give me something I can fight.

Don’t ask me if I “believe in climate change.”

Don’t judge me on the degree to which I affirm your findings.

Find two things. Then tell me what I can do.

Encourage me with a massive message of (a) do what you know; and (b) do what you hear.

For if I’m on my way to doing what I know and I hear something I can apply to do better, I’m already motivated and in the correct lane to make the turn.

But if you argue policies to convince me that no matter what, we are doomed by 2030, I would like you to take all your pamphlets and books, go off by yourself and masturbate.

You don’t win people over by telling them it’s “impossible.”

You don’t engage people by making them feel guilty about “why they haven’t joined up already.”

Find two things we can do.

Then allow the human race to do what we know and as we grow, to do what we hear.

The B. S. M. G. Report

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4259)

The meek will inherit

Because they’re willing to share it

BAD

We are in the midst of severely ignoring the currency of the Christmas season.

We have begun to believe that December can be filled with our foolishness and chicanery, when during that thirty days, the Earth always takes a collective gasp for air, so that we can survive the rest of our yearly journey.

But now, we have instead decided to go politically crazy, emotionally distraught and spiritually bankrupt.

How about a simple example?

A seventeen-year-old boy decides to take the family car to a party and does some illegal drinking. Coming out, he gets behind the wheel and drives the car home, where he finds his mother and father waiting for him at the door, unable to deny his intoxication.

But let’s say that same young man went to the party, got just as drunk and drove home, but on the way to his house, crashed his car into a tree. A half-hour later, his parents arrive at the police station to retrieve him.

Just for the sake of discussion, back to that same young man, same party, same drunkenness—but this time, on the drive home he hits a young boy on a bicycle and kills him.

I present these three scenarios to you because we need to discuss some differences among the words errant, mistake and crime.

To the legalist or someone who is toeing the letter of the law, I suppose the boy who arrives home in his car intoxicated is committing a crime. But dare I say, there probably is not a mother or father in America who would view it that way.

They would recognize the behavior as “errant.” It would need to be corrected in-house.

Yet these same parents would probably not consider crashing into a tree to merely be errant. They wouldn’t call it a crime—they would say it was a mistake. Once again, punishment would be in order.

But the parents would have no say whatsoever in the matter if their son killed somebody while drunk. That would be considered by one and all to be a crime.

We have made a severe mistake by impeaching President Donald Trump.

Whether you consider what he did with Ukraine to be errant behavior, a mistake or a crime, the populace will need to sustain that opinion.

Yet what is missing is acknowledgment.

No one has admitted errant behavior or a mistake, so it begins to feel like a crime.

Here’s the question:

Did Donald Trump do something errant, make a mistake, or was it a crime?

We will probably never know—because he refuses to admit his part in the problem.

SAD

It makes me downright sad.

If you put Republicans and Democrats together, you kind of have a great world.

Republicans are all about “hometown.”

• Their lovely burgs.
• Their families.
• Their dogs.
• God’s country.

Democrats, on the other hand, are about the Earth.

• Climate change.
• Global poverty.
• Gender equality across the planet.

Doggone it, I like them all.

I’d like to take the better parts of  my hometown and spread them across the globe.

I want to treat the Earth well. So why don’t I come back to my hometown and get started?

It’s sad that we have two great forces that fight against one another instead of turning the Earth into a marvelous hometown.

MAD

But it is maddening that none of this can happen because the ability to confess our faults has diminished until it seems to have finally disappeared.

One of my favorite phrases from the Good Book is, “Confess your faults to one another so you can be healed.”

I don’t want to live in a world that is constantly misshapen, out of step, angry and frustrated simply because we think it’s weak to admit our missteps.

What a great time to come along and stand in front of your friends and proclaim your foibles without fear.

GLAD

Because you know what makes me glad?

Not even an impeachment, violence, partisan politics and hours of boring hearings on television can dim the power and spirit of Christmas.

It is in our DNA to try to give a damn in the month of December.

It’s a glorious time. And it doesn’t go away unless we chase it away.

It is bad that we cannot decide what has happened with our President.

It makes me sad that our Republicans and Democrats don’t know how perfect they would be together.

And I’m mad that we don’t confess our faults to be healed.

But I’m glad it’s December:

We’re birthing great ideas to create a “stable world.”

The B. S. M. G. Report

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4232)

Avoiding becoming insane

But never wanting to complain

BAD

TUA much.

A young man sprawls on the ground, broken, writhing in pain, as thousands of people watch in horror, torn between sympathy for him and fear over what this might mean in pursuing a national championship.

One week earlier, the same fellow played in a game twenty days after having ankle surgery, limping and agonizing along to his team’s defeat.

He needed time.

Don’t we all?

How many of us are eager to go back to work on the sixth day after a cold?

Do any of us want to walk across a room and get a cup of juice after having stubbed our toe?

But for some reason—a very bad reason—selfish, greedy, older men (and maybe women) who are long past their prime, want to relive their youth on the backs and bodies of determined athletes.

It’s TUA much.

It’s TUA much to ask of anyone.

Let’s not blame the coach of Alabama.

Let us admit that we are the ones who pressured him into accepting the erroneous decision of a novice young man when he proclaimed, “Put me in, Coach. I’m ready to play.”

SAD

Working off the answers to find the questions. Truthfully, it’s what human beings are better suited for in the long run.

Maybe that was on Merv Griffin’s mind when he launched a television game show called, “Jeopardy!”

After a very short season, he hired Alex Trebek to be the host.

Alex is the over-stated, ever-loving geek who sometimes—even as you want to hug him with delight—causes you to roll your eyes over his pretentious attempts to utter foreign words in an exaggerated accent, insert little mentions of his world travels or become perturbed when some contestant fails to understand that every answer was to begin with an “O.”

Despite his quirks, we love him.

And when he read, “A fourth-stage disease which requires immediate treatment but is also terminal,” he filled in the answer to: What is Alex Trebek’s cancer diagnosis?

It’s ridiculous to think the world won’t go on without Alex Trebek (or any of us, for that matter).

It just won’t be quite as delightful.

MAD

The Muddle East.

I have often told my children to always try to find a second reason for everything they do. It takes away some of the pressure of thinking that you’re hanging on a limb by one twig.

So with that in mind, if you aren’t convinced of climate change and the need to back off fossil fuels, then consider this second reason:

To keep us out of a region of our world filled with religious fanatics, nationalists and misogynists:  The Middle (or as I stated it)—the Muddle East.

It is not a Holy Land.

Rather, it is a soulless, arid climate, manufacturing despair as its only byproduct.

It offers nothing to us but war.

And although it is true that oil and water do not mix, neither do oil and blood.

GLAD

I am tickled pink with rosy cheeks at the prospect of more candidates entering the Presidential campaign. I find myself overjoyed and grateful.

We are closing the door too quickly on the elevator heading up to the Oval Office.

Let’s leave it open.

Why can’t we learn from our very recent error? You know what I’m talking about:

Just three short years ago, when we were convinced that one candidate had the right to be elected President simply because she was a woman and had a predominant name.

And that another fellow was worthy of the White House because he scored high ratings on a reality television show and was fairly adept at hotel placement.

Let us not be foolish.

President of the United States is a calling.

It is a position which requires a human being to free him or herself of the ego of actually wanting the job.