Jonathots Daily Blog
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Dear Woman: Are you looking for equality?
Dear Man: Absolutely not.
Dear Woman: Well, I think I know you well enough that you’re not going to settle for inferiority–or pursue superiority.
Dear Man: That’s right.
Dear Woman: So isn’t the whole thing about equality? Even hearkening back to the Equal Rights Amendment?
Dear Man: That would have been a mistake. You see, the word “equality” is a trick. Thomas Jefferson used the word “equal” in the Declaration of Independence–while still owning slaves. For many years in the South, there was a proclamation of “separate but equal,” which was supposed to make everything right. But of course, it didn’t.
Dear Woman: So what you’re saying is, to a certain degree we are pursuing “separate but equal” between the sexes.
Dear Man: Exactly. We have created a Jim Crow situation between men and women with all the books, jokes and rules that are enforced in our society.
Dear Woman: I get it. Things like “man cave–chick flick.”
Dear Man: They connote that there’s equality–a place where each gender has dominion, but keeping us totally separate from each other.
Dear Woman: So is it possible to be separate and equal?
Dear Man: Not unless the power is equal. In other words, if men are in charge of almost everything, then the stream of equality that trickles down to women will be subject to their whim.
Dear Woman: Just like it was in the South during the Jim Crow era. They claimed equality, but because they were separate, and the white population had domination, the black folks had to rely on the white interpretation of equality.
Dear Man: You got it. It sounds a little complicated but it really isn’t. Separate but equal was the way the white community in the South tried to control things while making it look like they were creating equality.
Dear Woman: In other words, when we say women do this and men do that, we’re separating them off, while insisting that in the separation there is still equality.
Dear Man: That’s why I don’t want to be equal. I want to be equivalent.
Dear Woman: Interesting word. So where do you see the difference?
Dear Man: It’s a situation in which men and women head for the common ground–human. Attributes, emotions, preferences, desires and skills are not viewed by gender but instead, solely on talent and choice. We’re working on this in racial relationships–the black community is not trying to be equal. They’re trying to establish the fact that we’re all equivalent.
Dear Woman: This makes complete sense to me. Because even though I’m trying to be forward thinking on this issue, unfortunately, I still contend that there are things that women do better than men and vice versa.
Dear Man: Me, too. We were trained that way. So when it comes to the gender wars, we promote “separate but equal,” which has historically proven to be nearly worthless.
Dear Woman: So how do you think I can confirm to you that I believe you and I are equivalent?
Dear Man: That’s easy. Stop assuming. Stop assuming that I won’t like a football game. Stop assuming that I’d rather go shopping than help you fix a cabinet in the kitchen. And I’ll stop assuming that you won’t like a movie because someone declared it “for women.” And I won’t assume that you’re completely uninterested in an outfit I’m buying.
Dear Woman: Is it really that simple? Do you really think that will bring some resolution?
Dear Man: What it will bring is clarity–that we’re not looking for an equality that still allows for separation, but instead, an equivalency that gives us the right to enjoy what we want to enjoy without having to distinguish it “pink” or “blue.”
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