Sit Down Comedy … April 3rd, 2020

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Sit Down Comedy

Eunice Buell was a Sunday School teacher for the junior high class at my church. Somewhere deep in her heart, I think Mrs. Buell liked me very much—maybe even found me entertaining.

But every once in a while, I sent her into a near-saintly tirade over some of my comments. She called them crude, unwarranted, hurtful, offending—and once even went so far as to say “vulgar.”

When I said something she did not approve of, she often turned to me (while simultaneously gesturing to the whole class) and said:

“Think before you speak. That’s what separates us from the animals.”

I didn’t have the heart to correct her and say, “Animals don’t speak.”

She expected us all to understand.

We did.

And we still do. There is no place you can go where “think before you speak” would not be considered a holy axiom, possibly even found somewhere in the Bible.

Because of this, we now have politicians who polish their lingo, scrubbing it of all possibility of controversy, while inserting enough lying to make sure the proclamation has some heft.

Our religionists require blind devotion from all followers, lest someone stand up and suggest that there are contradictions, or at least confusions, dwelling in the Holy of Holies.

Our corporations and businesses hire lawyers to develop statements placed at the bottom of the product in small print to protect the stockholders and investors against all liability.

And relationships—oh, dear God—relationships are riddled with a series of phrases used to manipulate one party into performing “your will”–without ever noticing that they’re sacrificing their individuality.

It spawns from the notion that humans are capable of perfecting themselves.

We aren’t.

The theory is permitted to exist so we can maintain our arrogance. But it is the emotions in our lives that need to be spoken, even though they are often raw and uneducated.

They are the real we feel.

Certainly, these thoughts fester with frustration and can frequently be proven wrong.  But when we are the only ones correcting the language in our brains, we close the door to greater revelation being afforded us through discussion.

So without trying to cast myself in the role of renegade, I challenge each and every one of us to:

Speak before we think.

And since we know it comes out as raw ore—not gold—after we speak, we should be quiet.

Listen. Register the reactions. Ponder the possible contradictions.

Then we must do something that makes the human race truly unique:

Change our minds.

As a species, we are worthless to one another and an enemy of the Earth when we are incapable of recanting our initial feelings and replacing them with common sense.

Because once we change our minds, we can speak again.

And those who know us realize that we are not only sharing the truth with them as we feel it in the moment, but we have also alerted ourselves to gain new insight—and then verbalize our fresh discovery.

Thinking before you speak turns you into a self-editor.

No good writer should ever trust himself to be the sole editor.

Speaking before you think presents the emotion and heart which very well may be overwrought or even wrong.

Yet it provides the opportunity to inform those around you that you are fully aware of your imperfection—and prepared to be a student of the planet we share.

 

The B. S. M. G. Report


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My friend, would you please define

Why you think we are all just fine?

BAD

What happens when good doesn’t make us better? Isn’t that bad?

  • A good economy.
  • A good job market
  • Good Christmas season.
  • Good outlook on the stock exchange.

Why don’t these things we call good make us better?

And what is the purpose of touting good things when they don’t internalize into human beings and transform them into dynamic individuals?

Is it possible that it’s bad when things are good?

Are we better when things are worse?

Is there a part of us that knows we’re not worthy and wants to find our own feet instead of being lifted?

I’m not sure, but I know this:

It seems to me to be bad when good doesn’t make us better.

SAD

Likewise, when joy brings no smile, is it really happiness?

If the “joy of the Lord is strength,” why does the believer frown?

If music truly brings joy, why are drugs necessary to make us high?

If being in love is actually a joyful thing, why do we spend our time lamenting our choice?

It seems to me to be pretty sad when joy brings no smile.

When a Christmas season comes and goes and we’re so engrossed in politics, impeachment, misconceptions and distractions that the carols play at the same decibel as years before—with identical emotion—yet fail to beckon our childlike spirit.

MAD

It makes me mad when the common gains no sense.

Why is it that we are trying to be the first generation to come to different conclusions than our ancestors did? Is it just so we can proclaim our uniqueness?

The Earth has been around for a long time and certainly has its ways.

Nature speaks to us.

Science teaches us.

And our human brothers and sisters join us.

It is common—but it gives no sense.

It is obvious—yet ignored.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

But wait! Wait. Ours can.

He who hates his brother hates God.

No, no. We have a much different interpretation.

Lying is evil.

Oh, my goodness—you are so behind the times. We have discovered a way to lie and make it charming.

For there to be common sense, there must be sense we acknowledge as common among us all.

GLAD

I wonder if we’re prepared to avoid the pain by letting what is sane produce our gain.

This is the way to be glad.

Gladness is not sprinkled on us like fairy dust.

It isn’t an accidental stumbling into the hilarious.

Gladness is when the pain leaves because the sane produces gain.

Isn’t it bad when good doesn’t make us better?

I find it sad when joy produces no smile.

Are you mad when the common gains no sense?

Or are you like me?

Ready to be glad, relinquishing the pain by allowing what is sane to offer true gain.

Sit Down Comedy … November 29th, 2019

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Sit Down Comedy

I thought I would sit down and talk to you dear hearts about the It’s Fits. There are three of them.

It is a trio of common phrases uttered to relieve pressure, take away criticism and often to become overly optimistic.

If we begin to believe that these “it’s” have any capacity whatsoever to bring solution, we will certainly find ourselves in fits.

1. “It’s not fair.”

Whining is never attractive. We are completely repulsed by the fussy, teary and defeated profiles of others.

“It’s not fair” is like twirling around in every direction and pointing a finger at all the culprits who have prevented you from receiving your best.

Could it be your children? Maybe it’s your wife plotting. Your husband is nothing but a barking dog. Your company is insensitive to the needs of its employees. Or there must not be a God, because if there were a God, He would never have allowed this atrocity to occur.

Because we’ve been convinced that nurturing one another is the way to say “I love you,” we have babied all the human “house plants” into environments where they cannot stand to actually live outdoors in the sun.

Endurance

This word is necessary for human life: Without endurance, we give up, begin to blame others and become erratically annoying.

The truth is, it may not be fair, but it is learnable. The Earth has its ways and if you study them, you can change your whiny to win.

2. “It’s needing more time.”

Failure arrives to inform us that our direction is not favorable, but instead of learning from the correction, we decide that if more time were given—using the same plan—things would most certainly improve.

Sometimes the Earth speaks.

That’s why we need this second phrase in our journey:

Common sense

In other words, if it didn’t work, it didn’t work. Pressing harder or selling more doesn’t change anything.

The Earth is good to us by telling us quickly when something is shitty.

3. “It’s not my fault.”

Everyone has been in a meeting where a failure is dissected—all participants slicing at one another to be guilt free, punctuating their summary by saying, “It’s not my fault.”

Actually, the more quickly you take responsibility for your part in the failure, the sooner the pain goes away and the healing begins.

It leads us to a third word:

Responsibility

An irresponsible person is unstable in all his or her ways. Ultimately, such a person can get nothing accomplished.

So I realize you want to nurture your husband, your wife, your children and your closest friends, but the best way to do this is to encourage their endurance instead of accepting their excuses.

It is to praise their common sense instead of standing watch while they continue to hit their heads against the walls.

And finally, it is to demand responsibility instead of allowing people to slither away like snakes in the grass to hide in their holes.

  • It’s not fair.
  • It’s needing more time.
  • It’s not my fault.

These are the “It’s Fits”—which keep each one of us from the endurance, common sense and responsibility that allow the second go-round to be drenched in good cheer and fueled by wisdom.

 

 


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The B. S. M. G. Report


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Looking for a way to bless

But stymied in the mess

Bad

For one hundred and ninety-six years, the United States stumbled and fumbled, but also struggled its way through discovering its own definition of a “Democratic Republic,” with only one occasion when the President of the United States was impeached.

Now, in the past forty-seven years, we have had three Presidents impeached. Also George W. Bush was repeatedly threatened with it, and even Ronald Reagan was nearly brought down by the Iran-Contra affair.

It’s time to realize that we have lost sight of what it means to be Americans and also have failed to follow through on the vision of what we set out to do so many years ago with the Declaration of Independence.

The figures speak for themselves.

We either cannot find good leadership, or we do not know how to pick a good leader.

SAD

When the vote was taken for the impeachment inquiry for President Donald Trump, not one single Republican cast an affirmative to proceed with the investigation.

The sadness I feel is not because I think the President is guilty, nor that I deem him innocent. I am saddened because this has become a partisan event, since it is most assuredly Democrats against Republicans.

Meanwhile, the pundits bicker and snicker.

MAD

We’re supposed to be the good guys.

We’re supposed to be the U.S.A. which travels the globe to help people out when there are disasters.

We’re supposed to be the nation that challenges other nations to be more honest, more democratic and more willing to pursue human rights.

It is truly maddening that we have lost our way, and gradually are becoming the laughingstock of a world which is intimidated, not just by our atomic warheads, but also by our desire to make things right no matter how wrong they may seem to be.

GLAD

It is like a tiny bugle in the distance. I can barely hear it. Shall we call it a “frugal bugle”—one that would love to blow a retreat from selfishness, politics and jealousy, allowing us to regroup into a nation indivisible?

For after all, it doesn’t do much good for us to be “under God” if we’re split apart by ethnicity, bigotry, political parties and religion.

I hear a faint bugle blowing.

It is a call by those who are weary of Republicans and disappointed in Democrats and would like to go back to the simplicity of a land where people are given equal opportunity and equal respect.

Listen for the bugle.

When you hear it, join the retreat from insanity and the gathering of those who will not move one more foot—until common sense is placed in charge.

 

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Sit Down Comedy … August 9th, 2019

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Nonsense is not the absence of sense, but it certainly is a denial that common sense is readily available, so opinions, doctrines, philosophies, political platforms and social mores must be invented to counter the fact that we have decided to pretend that sense has abandoned us.

Common sense is well and fine. Fine and well it is.

It is alive, though a bit startled by attacks.

I, for one, am not prepared to accept nonsense simply because it’s being voiced loudly or large numbers of “likes” can be authenticated from a website.

I believe many things can be said, and many things can be implemented in various stylings. But there are three things I must hear clearly represented in any manifesto passed my way. If these three things are absent, I have no intention of attacking anyone or forbidding their right to be verbal.

But I also will not back them, agree with them or wave some universal flag of truce, while pretending the ideas have good sense.

Let me stop with this lengthy preamble to tell you this trinity of affinity.

Three things that ring my bell

  1. All are treasured. Some with greater value. Others more needy. Yet all counted.
  2. What we do is much more spirited than what we say.
  3. Any sense of needing to judge must be immediately replaced with a roaring baptism of good cheer.

There they are.

And don’t try to trick me by insisting that you “basically” concur but find exceptions in a couple of places.

After all, people are either all counted, or none of us matter.

And what we do is much louder than what we speak.

And judging someone—whether you insist a book told you to do so or not—can only be defined as verbal shit.

Going forward, this is my standard. You can see, it opens the door to many religions, political candidates and social structures. You also notice that it slams the door to many as well.

From this point going forward, I will not participate in nonsense.

The only sense I will recognize is common.

 

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The T Word … June 18th, 2019

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THE

Image result for gif of letter t

WORD


The T word that should never be uttered in the common ease of human conversation is:

TRUTH

Human beings are incapable of knowing the truth.

Even though I’m sure the tiny portions that do dribble into our souls have the capability of making us free, we must admit that they are mingled with much superstition, false teaching, selfishness and inaccuracy.

Actually, the best we human beings can hope for is to be truthful.

In other words, “This is what I’ve experienced, this is what I’ve seen, and this is what I’ve picked up to be workable from the lives of others.”

And even those insights often lack the hindsight to give us foresight.

Every one of us is repulsed by a human who walks in the room and insists he or she knows the truth and we don’t. Every religion that proclaims its rendition of “divine understanding…” well, all of them are like children sitting around reading fairy tales, pretending they comprehend chemistry.

We can all work on being truthful.

But if you’re quoting someone else, it’s hearsay, even if you insist they are prophets, or “the Son of God.”

If you’re judging others, it is condemnation, even if you have tablets of stone which are able to crush their spirit.

And if you are sure you’re right, it is arrogance, although you may walk with a great history of being precise.

Truth is what causes the foolishness of superiority that launches the wars that kill the children.

I shall work on being truthful–but I will not take the writings of men and women I never knew and share their hearsay, condemnation or supremacy to make you feel small.

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1 Thing That Makes Sense All the Time

 

REPENTANCE

“Don’t you just hate change!” he said with a huge bobby-bubbalicious smirk, looking across the room at what he knew to be adoring fans to his wit and humor.

Although an older gent, he was confident in his attractiveness and the sway he held with the little conclave. He paused, allowing time for the “amens, attaboys,” and “you-said-a-mouthfuls” to pour through the room, and then turned to me, awaiting my appreciation for what he considered to be an obvious observation about the nastiness of change.

I probably should have kept my mouth shut.

I certainly would have been more popular. But instead, I replied, “Mark my word, dear friends, death and taxes are not certain, but change is—and those who try to stall its purpose will find the wheels of progress rolling over their sensitive toes.”

I received no support for my position. After all, if the human race did not have an explainable ignorance, we would have to conclude it was pernicious.

Repentance should always be at the ready, or you may very well find yourself doing a “perish in your parish.” Therefore, as each new day begins, and you realize that neither you nor I created the universe—rather, we are permitted to remain on a very tentative lease—try to follow the spirit of common sense wherever it goes. That spirit will tell you:

  1. Change is necessary.
  2. You are necessary.
  3. Therefore, you will change.

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