Cracked 5 … August 22nd, 2017


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Things God Thought About Creating Instead of Humans

A.   Computers–could have skipped one million years of murder, adultery and bad sitcoms

B.   Carb-free pasta. Certainly a better choice.

C.   Talking monkeys. Washington, D. C.??

D.   Paint with a brain–artsy-craftsy

E.   Grass that makes music, instead of musicians making music using grass

 

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Ask Jonathots … October 22nd, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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I am a senior in high school and they want me to declare my major for planning my college career. I can’t make up my mind because there are too many things I like to do. I play piano and french horn, I’m very good with computers, and I also love to write. How do you decide “what you want to be when you grow up?”

If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you two parts to this answer.

First of all, it’s difficult to know, when you’re a senior in high school, that the reason family and adult counselors are trying to push you to discover your major for college is that they want to brag to other people about it.

It has little to do with you. The relatives want to say, “Well, Brian is going to be an attorney…a doctor…a professor…an engineer.”

It allows for the “oohs” and “aahs” which cause grown people around you to feel they have succeeded in raising you up to be a fine young person.

Yes, I’m asking you to be a little suspicious of people who are in a hurry for anything. You’re on the verge of making two major decisions which will determine your peace of mind and your sense of soul satisfaction:

  • How do I make a wage?
  • Who am I going to live with for the rest of my life while I make that wage?

Making the wrong decision on either of these proposals is the main ingredient in unhappiness.

So don’t be in a hurry. There are people who do not declare a major until they’re juniors or seniors in college, and as long as they’re willing to buck up to the course requirements, it doesn’t make any difference.

But as to the second part of your question, “What do I want to do when I grow up?”–that is a bit more intricate and a deeper issue.

It’s a good idea to peruse what you enjoy, but I believe there are three things that go into picking an occupation or answering a calling:

1. Can I do what I want to do for long periods of time without complaining, while still finding new ways to enjoy it?

Boredom is your worst enemy in life. It is the source of poorly timed accidents, and bad choices which can lead to all sorts of misfortune and sin. Make sure that what you choose to do evolves enough that it keeps you interested.

2. Is it going to help anyone else?

If you are able to make money and make blessing for other people at the same time, you will never have any trouble sleeping or have any misgivings about your choice of work.

3. Does it offer a branch?

Here’s a fact: if you go into a line of work that allows you to branch out into other aspects of your interests at the same time, it is most excellent.

So of the things you listed–music, computers and writing–use your great intelligence to find a direction for your efforts, where all three of those might come into play.

Just a thought.

But since you’re in the thought process, also remember: thinking, by its very nature, requires that you slow down and not be in any big hurry.

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2063… April 10, 2013

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America Open for BusinessThe year is 2063.

The earth has changed.

Yet contrary to what the science fiction writers foretold or the doomsday prophets predicted, things are actually better. No longer is there endless debate on gay marriage, gun control, abortion, racial bigotry, global warming and nuclear destruction.

Several decades ago life on this planet came to a crisis. I guess we just grew tired with being weary of ourselves. The expansion of technology, the insufferable debate of politics and the prejudice of race was finally confronted and exposed by a generation of young humans who yearned for intimacy instead of continually jockeying for supremacy.

Ineffective religion and abstract agnosticism, which had battled each other for the minds of our people, were both abandoned in favor of the fervor of faith: faith in a heavenly Father, faith in each other and faith in the power of love.

People left their computers and homes to spend time together. Theater reappeared.  Music was live and organic. Dinner became an experience of eating around a table at home with friends.

To our shock and amazement, we didn’t destroy the world. Instead, we eliminated alienation. We included one another at face value, and let God and nature work out the particulars. We began to laugh at funny things instead of mocking each other. We mourned loss instead of weeping tears over our own insufficiency.

We grew into an understanding of the brotherhood and sisterhood of humankind rather than maintaining a mere allegiance to those possessing our DNA.

I did not live to see it.

But my twenty-five-year-old great-grandson still reads my work, because to his delight, fifty years earlier, I believed in the impossible. I shared the vision of a world that pulled up short of Armageddon, and rather than welcoming Christ to the earth in a blood bath between good and evil, we instead invited Jesus to come, sit and enlighten us.

So even though I am gone, the simple words that I penned live on. The dreams thrive in an era when thoughts, considerations and phrases are allowed … to bring hope again.

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity

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