Cracked 5 … July 17th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3736)

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Things the Queen of England was Overheard Saying

A. “Crowns make my face look fat”

 

B. “How does one get promoted from here?”

 

C. “I have castle but I’m not allowed to behead serfs.”

 

D. “I have a large boat and a rock group named after me. Eat that.”

 

E. “Met Donald something or other…”

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Cracked 5 … July 3rd, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3722)

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The Reason Fireworks Make a Lot Of Sense for July 4th

A. They make a lot of sound but not much sense

 

B. They sparkle but quickly fizzle

 

C. You can blow things up

 

D. “God Bless America” doesn’t sound quite so arrogant

 

E. They’re cheap

 

 

 

 

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Cracked 5 … June 26th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3715)

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Ways a Magician Describes His Sex Life

A. “Abracadooher”

 

B. “Open says me”

 

C. “Wavin’ my magic wand”

 

D. “My rabbit is in my hat”

 

E. “Can I have a volunteer from the audience?”

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Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3694)

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Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

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Cracked 5 … April 10th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3638)

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Possible Reasons the Syrian Government is Killing Its Own People

A.  A unique approach to food shortages

 

B.  Chasing that record of six million Jews murdered by the Nazis

 

C.  “You always hurt the ones you love”

 

D.  SYRIA-OUSLY insane

 

E.  Expiration date coming up soon on poison gas cannisters

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Cracked 5 … March 20th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3617)

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Typical Excuses Given for NOT Being Nice

A. Don’t want to finish last

 

B. Assaulted as a toddler by a “nice” nanny with strained asparagus

 

C. Smiling aggravates your migraines

 

D. Bit by a radioactive spider, making you “Snider Man”

 

E. Genetically predisposed: the “mean gene”

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Cracked 5 … February 27th, 2018



Jonathots Daily Blog

(3596)

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Other Names Being Considered For “School Shooting” to Give Television Commentators a Little Variety

A. Hall cleansing

 

B. S. H. O. T. Score

 

C. Early Dismissal

 

D. NRA Pep Rally

 

E. Homecoming

 

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