Cracked 5 … September 15th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3796)

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Signs that the Summer is Over

A. Your fifth batch of pool toys is officially deflated

 

B. Flip-flops are marked down

 

C. It’s colder

 

D. High school cheerleaders go back on the pill

 

E. Christmas decorations

end of summer

 

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Cracked 5 … August 21st, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3771)

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Reasons Given for Not Attending Church

 

A. Too much gluten in the communion wafer

 

B. Don’t like heaven, nor favor hell

 

C. PEW-trification

 

D. Allergic to sermons

 

E. The choir is white–REALLY white.

 

 

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Cracked 5 … August 14th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3765)

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Since the mustache continues to persist (like the flu) here are some types to be looking out for:


The Bushy Broom

(Sweepin’ those gals off their feet)


The Magic Marker

(Probably put on with a magic marker)


The Caterpillar

(Creepy, with no possibility of turning into a butterfly)


The Dictator

(Will all hairs please report to the middle of the lip?)


The Sparse Farce

(Time to face it. You can’t grow a mustache)

 

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Cracked 5 … August 7th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3758)

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Plans, Schemes and Promotions Organized by Vegetables to Help Promote Their Brand

A. Hail a Cabbage!

 

B. Lettuce Love One Another

 

C. Broccoli–Never Grew On Bush (George Herbert 41)

 

D. Caul-i-flower Bouquet

 

E. Corn–We’re All Ears

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Cracked 5 … July 17th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3736)

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Things the Queen of England was Overheard Saying

A. “Crowns make my face look fat”

 

B. “How does one get promoted from here?”

 

C. “I have castle but I’m not allowed to behead serfs.”

 

D. “I have a large boat and a rock group named after me. Eat that.”

 

E. “Met Donald something or other…”

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Cracked 5 … July 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3722)

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The Reason Fireworks Make a Lot Of Sense for July 4th

A. They make a lot of sound but not much sense

 

B. They sparkle but quickly fizzle

 

C. You can blow things up

 

D. “God Bless America” doesn’t sound quite so arrogant

 

E. They’re cheap

 

 

 

 

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Cracked 5 … June 26th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3715)

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Ways a Magician Describes His Sex Life

A. “Abracadooher”

 

B. “Open says me”

 

C. “Wavin’ my magic wand”

 

D. “My rabbit is in my hat”

 

E. “Can I have a volunteer from the audience?”

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