Cracked 5 … May 25th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4056)

Cracked 5

Five Characters That Would Make Terrible Presidents

 

A.  Scrooge McDuck

 

 

B.  Darrin Vader (Darth’s oldest son, who is presently governor of South Dakota)

 

 

C.  Wiley Coyote

 

 

D.  Andy Amoeba (a single cell living in my toilet bowl)

 

 

E.  Any one of the Munchkins (a personal prejudice)

 

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Cracked 5 … May 18th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4049)

Cracked 5

Some Very Unnecessary Political Insults (But Curious)

A.  Demobrats

B.  The Congrossman

C.  Repukelicans

D.  Fixed News

 E.  Electoral Kindergarten

 

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Cracked 5 … May 11th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4042)

Cracked 5

Things That Are Part of Considering Impeach

A.  A peach

 

B.  The man who invented single-ply toilet tissue

 

C.  An imp

 

D.  People who preach recycling plastic

 

E.  A canned pea


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Cracked 5 … May 4th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4035)

Cracked 5

Common Answers Offered at Recent Senate Investigation – The Barr Exam

A.  “I’m sorry, I did not hear the question. I was busy sipping my hemlock.”

 

B. “Before I answer, let me tell you about my favorite color—lavender—nestled in the purple family…”

 

C.  “You don’t need to get so snippy!”

 

D.  “Give me a second. We didn’t rehearse that one.”

 

E. “AAAAAAAAh…well…AAAAh…HM…HM…HM…HM…HM…AAAA…”


William Barr pen and pencil
 

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Cracked 5 … April 27th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4028)

Cracked 5

Jokes the Elephant Man Hates

 

A. Stand back! I’m allergic to peanuts!

 

B.  Don’t forget to pack your trunk!

 

C. I hear you are all ears.

 

D. Is everything as big as your feet?

 

E. How long have you been a Republican?

 

Elephant Man

 

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Cracked 5 … April 20th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4021)

Cracked 5

Complaints from the Easter Bunny

A.  Side profile for candy pose is not flattering

 

B.  Children think rabbits lay colored eggs

 

C.  Colored eggs insist on being called “Chicken-born Americans”

 

D.  Suing hip-hop music for stealing “hop” from “hoppity”

 

E.  Dying on the cross for the sins of mankind

  

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Cracked 5 … April 13th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(4014)

Cracked 5

Five Good Reasons to Legalize Recreational Marijuana

 

A. Not enough spaced-out drivers

 

B.  Another practical application for “No Smoking” signs in public places

 

C.  National IQ is starting to rise

 

D.  A boost to the youth vote, which will probably sleep in on Election Day anyway, from hangovers

 

E.  Find out once and for all why Puff was a Magic Dragon 

Cracked 5 Wylie Coyote

  
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