Cracked 5 … January 12th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3923)

Cracked 5

Things We Should Build After the Border Wall

 A.  Grand Canyon 2—complete with bungee jumping

 

B.  Hamless ham sandwich with fake mustard and pickleless pickle

 

C.  A bridge between men and women (the penis doesn’t count)

 

D.  An official Highway to Hell

 

E.  The Berlin Wall—except prettier

Baby Trump


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Cracked 5 … January 5th, 2019

 


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3916)

Cracked 5

Beautiful Aspects of Winter

 

 A.  The ecstasy of scraping ice off car windows

 

B.   Brings people together in four-or-five-car pile-ups

 

C.   Mittens turn hands into flippers

 

D.  Testing theory of “freezing balls off”

E.  Making snow women boobies

 

Winterscape


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Cracked 5 … December 29th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3909)

Cracked 5

Worst New Year’s Resolutions

 

A. Switch to wearing your sleeves on your feelings

B. Have entire family join a nudist colony

C. Give away charcoal drawings of Mohammed while visiting Mecca

D. Just for comedy, have penis reduction surgery

E. Increase the body count on your killing spree

 

New Year's Resolutions 2019

 

art by smarrttie panntts

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Cracked 5 … November 10th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3852)

Cracked 5

Takeaways from the Midterm Election

A. You can spend lots of money and still end up pretty much right where you started

 

B. We want people to vote–unless we don’t like the way they vote

 

C. Vote shaming has replaced fat shaming

 

D. Another Florida recount should be exciting and fulfilling

 

E. Politics makes strange fellows–forget about the bed

Republicans and Democrats


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Cracked 5 … November 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3845)

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The Main Reasons for the Existence of the Month of November

A. Purging turkeys

 

B. Including dressing and cranberry sauce into family squabbles

 

C. Overwrought arguments about Christmas

 

D. Evidence that all leaves will not be raked

 

E.  Rhymes with “September” in the 30-day song

 

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Cracked 5 … October 13th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3824)

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More Appropriate Names for Hurricanes (All in the “B” Family)

 

A. Breaking wind

 

B. Blow me

 

C. Beach Bango

 

D. Ball-buster

 

E. Bitchy

 

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Cracked 5 … October 6th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3817)

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Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

A. A peach, wearing just your fuzz

 

B. Benedict Arnold

 

C. A school shooter

 

D. An elephant with a nose job

 

E. A zit, popping Hellman’s Mayonnaise

Bad Halloween costumes

 


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