Cracked 5 … May 15th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3667)

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Intriguing Advantages to Being Totally Bald

 

A.  Avoiding the annoying flirtations of pesky women

 

B.  Landing field for woodpeckers

 

C.  Easier to peel off crusty dandruff

 

D.  Allows your ears to stand out

 

E.  Not tempted to try a comb-over

 

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Cracked 5 … May 8th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3666)

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Due to the recent notoriety given to Stormy Daniels, a porn actress, below are some other women from that industry who would like to present their names for consideration, which also are marked by meteorological mention:

A. Partly Cloddy

 

B. Com-u-lust

 

C. I-drought-that

 

D. Her-i-came

 

E. Whornado

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Cracked 5 … May 1st, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3659)

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Other Names Considered for the Wheelchair

A. Assigned seating

 

B. Hunkycapped

 

C. Roll-aide

 

D. Electric chair (if there’s a motor)

 

E. Wheels of misfortune

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Cracked 5 … April 24th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3652)

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Things You Cannot Say Unless You Want to Be Dubbed a Racist

A. “I’m not a racist.”

 

B. “Then they are racists, too.”

 

C. “As Dr. King said…”

 

D. “You have to admit, things are better…”

 

E. “I honor all cultures, including my own.”

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Cracked 5 … April 17th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3645)

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Other segments and pieces of information that did not make the final edit of James Comey’s book, “A Higher Loyalty”

A.  It was formerly known as the “Federal Investigation Bureau,” but the acronym, F. I. B., seemed telling

 

B.  Although Comey is six feet, eight inches tall, he apparently cannot execute a “slam-dunk”

 

C.  It is amazing how many opinions Comey had that he failed to share with President Trump

 

D.  The publisher considered entitling Comey’s book, “Look at Me–I’m Important,” but settled for “A Higher Loyalty”

 

E.  Too tall, Comey was never able to go undercover–just cover-all

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Cracked 5 … April 10th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Possible Reasons the Syrian Government is Killing Its Own People

A.  A unique approach to food shortages

 

B.  Chasing that record of six million Jews murdered by the Nazis

 

C.  “You always hurt the ones you love”

 

D.  SYRIA-OUSLY insane

 

E.  Expiration date coming up soon on poison gas cannisters

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Cracked 5 … April 3rd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3631)

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Matters That Really Upset the Easter Bunny During This Holiday Celebration

A. The Lucky Car Dealership giving away a rabbit’s foot for good luck as a promotional benefit during “Hoppy Sales Week”

 

B. Obtuse and confusing parallels drawn by ministers and church youth leaders between the Easter Bunny and the Resurrection of Christ

 

C. Peeps voted “Best Easter Candy.” Damn those chicks.

 

D. Jokes about the Easter Bunny being a “basket case”

 

E. Politically correct individuals upset with the term “colored eggs” want to change it to “hue-enhanced eggs.”

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