Cracked 5 … April 25th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Startling Revelations About the Bluebird of Happiness

A. Recently humiliated during a “60 Minutes” interview because he couldn’t define happiness.

 

B. Changing gender, hoping to become the Pink Bird of Happiness

 

C. No one under 50 knows who he is

 

D. Turns out he’s not blue, just hasn’t bathed for a while

 

E. Not happy–just drunk

 

 

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Dudley … April 20th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on April 20, 2017 at 12:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Cracked 5 … April 18th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Reasons You Suddenly Come Up With On the Spot Why You Woke Up During Spring Break With a Hangover, Your Best Friend Lying Next to You in Your Bed

A. He had a nightmare roaming the halls, seeking cuddly comfort

 

B. He got chilly, blanketless

 

C. He peed his bed, then drifted in your direction

 

D. Hostile bedbugs in his room

 

E. He lost his clothes at strip poker and had nowhere else to go

  

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Dudley … April 13th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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DUDLEY

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Published in: on April 13, 2017 at 12:19 pm  Comments (1)  
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Cracked 5 … April 4th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Could These Possibly Be the Worst April Fool’s Jokes of All Time?

A.  “Hurry, Romeo! I think Juliet is dead!”

 

B.  “Mr. Booth, are you sure the President is expecting you?”

 

C.  “Adam, it’s called an apple. You’re just so stubborn–won’t try new things.”

 

D.  “Ava, don’t think of it as a bunker. It is our basement love nest.”

 

E.  “Listen, Lucifer, I’ve got this great place I’m sending you. It’s called Earth.”

 

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Cracked 5 … March 7th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Other Countries Presenting Challenges Which President Trump May Wish to Ban

A.  Britain: Suspicious nooks and crannies in English muffins

 

B.  Luxembourg: A spelling threat

 

C.  Canada: Not sure what they mean by “eh”

 

D.  Switzerland: Neutral?? My ass!

 

E.  Saudi Arabia: Since most of the 9/11 terrorists were citizens of it

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Cracked 5 … February 28th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Things a 6-Year-Old Kid Thinks That March Madness Might Be

A. Darlene thinks March Madness is Mommy screaming while she cleans the house

 

B. Brendan envisions it as really angry little boys tramping in the hallway

 

C. Julie just assumes it means that March is the “angry month.”

 

D. Lily is convinced that March Madness is an aunt who has come to visit, who cries a lot because she was just divorced from an a-hole

 

E. Marco thinks it must be a crazy, wacky salute to John Phillip Sousa, who thought Stars and Stripes were forever

 

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