Jonathots Daily Blog
(3717)
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(3500)
1. You are not shocked, offended or defensive about making a mistake.
2. You hear other opinions and may even use them.
3. You confess your lie before getting caught.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(3025)
Dear Man: People are making tons of money by promoting the gender wars–books, seminars, movies and television programs accumulate a huge haul of cash by continuing to foster the irreconcilable differences between men and women.
Dear Woman: I suppose that’s true, but what do you plan on doing about it?
Dear Man: I’m just explaining that as long as there’s money to be made, there won’t be a willingness to come to the truth of the matter.
Dear Woman: And what is the truth?
Dear Man: The truth is, we will continue to think that women are the weaker sex and that they are irrational, until we sit down and have a great dialogue and risk losing this dishonest money in favor of seminars and shows that illustrate the two genders working together.
Dear Woman: That’s not gonna happen.
Dear Man: I don’t know whether it’s gonna work in the end, but we could make a beginning. Let’s start with the fact that you are taught that I am irrational, and I am taught that because you feel that way, you are irrelevant.
Dear Woman: Interesting. So what you’re saying is, if you find me irrelevant, I more than likely will naturally conclude that you’re irrational for feeling that way.
Dear Man: And if you’re constantly hounding me about being irrational, I will find you irrelevant.
Dear Woman: It seems like there’s no solution.
Dear Man: Every solution begins with a door, and I think I know where to go in.
Dear Woman: I’m all ears.
Dear Man: The toilet seat.
Dear Woman: Oh, no. No way. That old battle has been fought to a bloody end.
Dear Man: That’s because we think it’s impossible to handle. Here’s the truth–a man lifts the toilet seat to piss because he doesn’t want to pee on the seat. That’s already considerate. To lift the toilet seat he has to reach down and bring it up. At the end of his business, he reaches over to flush the pot. At that point his hand is mere inches away from tapping the seat and letting it fall back down.
Dear Woman: I understand that. But it doesn’t happen. So if you keep complaining about it, you’re spitting in the wind.
Dear Man: It doesn’t happen because we fail to realize that lifting the toilet seat in the first place is a consideration. It requires some effort. It actually takes less effort to knock it back down than it does to lift it.
Dear Woman: It may make sense to you, but just mentioning the problem puts men on edge–defensive–and makes women look like self-righteous complainers.
Dear Man: Are you telling me that if you were at boot camp and the drill sergeant got in your face and ordered you to put down the toilet seat, you would be unable to learn it?
Dear Woman: No. I would do it because I was threatened.
Dear Man: So why aren’t you threatened by appearing to be calloused, uncaring and unwilling to change?
Dear Woman: I suppose because it’s my way, as a man, of saying that this particular thing will be done my way. Is that what you want to hear?
Dear Man: Is it the truth?
Dear Woman: The truth is, I don’t think I can remember it every time. So I don’t want to try.
Dear Man: You wouldn’t have to remember it every time. If I saw you do it occasionally, it would open my heart–to realize when I finish the toilet I could lift the lid for you. Nobody’s going to die by lifting or dropping a toilet seat. But if we would just show one another that we’re aware, even half the time, it would go miles on the journey to understanding.
Dear Woman: It’s not easy.
Dear Man: But it is simple. It can be done. And even if it’s done infrequently, the fact that I cross your mind is meaningful to me, and the fact that you think about a woman being in your life when it comes to the bathroom, is powerful for you. We have to get along in every room of the house–not just the bedroom.
Dear Woman: So you want me to do this?
Dear Man: Do you want to try?
Dear Woman: No. But you make so much damn sense that I’d rather try than argue about it.
Dear Man: Isn’t that a step?
Dear Woman: Yeah. I suppose so. But it feels like a step into a big pile of poop.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2977)
Meningsbee sat in his car panting, with sweat dribbling down his face.
What just happened?
His mind raced to retrieve some sanity.
He had gone to the grocery store to pick up some fruit, and was standing in the produce section, trying to decide between blueberries or blackberries, when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned around to discover that he was surrounded by three irate women in their seventies.
There was no escape.
Woman One piped up. “What gives you the right to come to our town, break apart families and remove our sense of community?”
Without affording Meningsbee a chance to respond, Woman Two inserted her piece. “What was so wrong with our little Garsonville church? I think we were a loving sort until you showed up.”
Likewise, Woman Three intoned her complaint. “We dedicated that organ in the church to my grandmother, and now I’m not even able to go.”
Meningsbee tried to figure out a way to respond without becoming defensive, but the women continued to bombard him with their frustrations, refusing to allow him to leave. It caused such a commotion that the store manager called the local police, who uncharacteristically arrived within three minutes.
The constable felt it was his job to get to the bottom of the story, so he listened patiently as the women outlined their grievances.
When Meningsbee was asked to describe his take on the situation, he chose to remain silent, realizing that he was not only outnumbered, but also that his rendition might seem anemic compared to their enraged profile.
Unfortunately, a local reporter for the newspaper was in the store at the time, and she felt it was her responsibility to interview the participants, with Meningsbee politely declining.
He just quickly grabbed some fruit, went through the checkout and exited the store. Now he sat alone, bruised and a bit infuriated at being ambushed.
Yet the situation did not go away.
Two days later when the newspaper came out, there was an article about the incident and a background about the ongoing struggle between the Garsonville Church and the new Garsonville Christian Church, meeting at the Holiday Inn Express.
The closing line of the piece was provided by one of the women, who shared, “If the people who are still at the Garsonville Church really love us and respect us as neighbors, they will at least come out to our new gathering and give it a chance.”
Even as Reverend Meningsbee was in the midst of reading the article, the phone rang. It was the first of thirty-five or forty calls he received from parishioners, saying that they were torn and conflicted, and felt it would maybe be good for them to show their respect by going to the Garsonville Christian Church this week.
Meningsbee didn’t know what to say. Honestly, he wanted to cry. He never intended to split up families nor bring conflict–just share Jesus.
Upon arriving at the church on Sunday morning, Meningsbee discovered there were only twelve in attendance–and eight of them were the visitors who had come over the past several weeks.
Because he didn’t want to deal with unresolved hurt, he shared his heart with those who were present, and explained what he believed to be his mission and desire.
He dismissed the service and headed for his car. All the other attendees left the parking lot and he sat alone. He couldn’t help but feel cheated–and maybe even, in a strange sense, jealous.
After all, his congregation was somewhere else, listening to someone else–being torn between their new discovery of faith and their loyalty to tradition.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2720)
Many years ago, I sensed a voice within me, encouraging me to go out and share my heart and abilities with the world. Some people would say it was the voice of God, while others would probably insist that it was just me, declaring my own bidding.
I don’t care.
I heeded the call, and that decision has taken me on an exotic adventure.
If faith is what we believe
And love is what we feel,
Then hope is the desire to feel what we believe.
I spent yesterday morning in Milton, Wisconsin, at a church called Hope.
I did not go there looking for God. I found Him some time ago.
I went there looking for people–especially people who are interested in breaking out of the repetition of religious and social blandness.
After 40 years, I have found things about people which really set them apart and give them the advantage Jesus intended them to have:
1. People should be welcoming.
It may be hard to do, but it is even more difficult to wait for friendship to appear instead of stepping forward to cause it.
2. I look for people who have nothing to defend.
Don’t forget–trying to defend something makes you defensive. And being defensive makes you a target for criticism rather than the fort of solitude you envision yourself to be.
3. I look for folks who are listening.
Learning never happens without listening, and honestly, listening never happens as long as we’re flapping our jaws, complaining.
And also, there is a quality in human beings that must be brought to the forefront for us to escape animalism or the notion that we’re “little gods.”
4. I look for folks who can be touched.
To be touched, you have to admit that another fellow-traveler can come along and reach in and tickle your heart.
Here’s the beautiful part to my story:
Yesterday morning at Hope Church, I found such people.
Oh, they tried to hide out at first and pretend they were bound to their traditions and their loyalties to programming, but after a while they realized how beneficial it is to free themselves from the responsibility of being religious, and allow themselves to be children of God.
It is a message for intelligent people who are fully aware that if they pursue the same path as the world around them, they will get the same result, which seems to be a collision of indecision and bedlam.
I was blessed to be with the folks at Hope.
They are shepherded by a fine gentleman with a tender heart and an increasing desire to be swept away by a great wind of Spirit.
I leave them with one better piece of news:
Whenever you walk through the doors of your sanctuary, develop the determination, the attitude and the will to refuse to leave that building … without being totally inspired.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(2632)
From Act II, Scene VII of As You Like It, Shakespeare asserts that “all the world is a stage and all the men and women, merely players.”
“Not believable.”
It is the two-word epitaph for every actor’s performance which seems dead-on-arrival. It is pronounced by critic and audience alike when the scene set before them lacks sincerity, legitimacy and heart.
Sometimes it is caused by the script being underplayed; often it’s a result of overacting. But somewhere along the line, the actor has failed to take the words that he or she has committed to memory and equally commit them to heart.
There is a certain amount of emotional purity necessary to convey who we are to the world around us. When this is lacking, the jungle sense inside every mortal comes to the forefront, screaming “this is not real.”
So since the world is a stage and we are actors, what can we do to guarantee that our contribution is believable? Because long before we are valuable, we need to establish that we are as we say we are.
To gain this pure heart, you must:
1. Be the first person around you who is not afraid of sharing your feelings.
You can be selective. You can release it slowly–just as long as you’re forthcoming and not being “caught”–trapped in a web of lies.
2. Realize that your feelings are inescapable, yet they only gain the possibility of change when shared well.
No one is suggesting that there has to be an outpouring from the heart of every single sensation that happens from moment to moment, but when a reality exists, to deny it, mask it or reject it is to set yourself up for being exposed instead of controlling the update on your own situation.
3. Know that people can trust you because they are fully aware that you’re willing to be honest.
Without this kind of emotional purity, human beings spiral down. They end up in the basement of consideration, relegated to a position of worthlessness because they were unable to deliver what they advertised themselves to be.
Fear makes us doubt.
Doubt makes us defensive.
Defensiveness turns us into liars.
And all liars end up looking like fools.
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(1932)
Human beings are defensive.
It is perhaps our worst attribute. We spend much more time trying to explain, qualify or rationalize our positions than we ever do considering whether they are valid.
So our founding fathers, thinking they were being extraordinarily intelligent, came up with the First Amendment. In that particular assertion, they concluded that the new nation of America should give everyone freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Their thought was that everybody should have the right to say whatever they want to say and believe whatever they want to believe.
Back to the original point: human beings are defensive.
In other words, once we speak something aloud, we are much more likely to kill someone in order to defend our ridiculous notion than we are to change our minds. We are also more accustomed to stomping our foot and preaching our rendition of God than we ever are to believing there’s additional revelation of the Divine available to us through the testimony of others.
So we end up with speechers and preachers.
Because we have granted people the right to have an opinion, we have also told them they are not responsible for the truthfulness of their ideas. We have allowed folks to meet in conclaves of religiosity with no responsibility for the human beings around them because their interpretation of some holy book grants them the privilege of irrational behavior.
Not even in a perfect world would freedom of speech and freedom of religion be applicable. The first thing perfect people would do is be more quiet and not try to force their convictions on others.
Even though I agree that it was a noble gesture–to give everybody the right to their opinion–it is insane to think that speechers and preachers, who have no regard for the freedoms of others, should be allowed to indiscriminately spew their venom into the air without recourse.
Not only is it stupid to yell “fire!” in a crowded theater when there is no blaze, it is equally dangerous, if you believe there is a blaze, to scream “fire!” knowing that it will create a panic.
Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are two of the weakest parts of our Constitution. They do not take into consideration that defensive people will continue to give “speeches” and “preaches” in order to justify ideas that were present for the dinosaurs’ demise.
So what can we do?
Well, we certainly can’t throw out free speech and freedom of religion. And I’m not suggesting that we develop a police state, where what people think and believe is analyzed by committees and judged for accuracy.
But I am suggesting that a generation of rejuvenated human beings, who truly have been “born again” in their emotions, spirits, minds and bodies, take some personal responsibility for their words and for their contentions about God’s will.
I would suggest three questions:
1. Is what I’m about to say or believe going to make things better?
2. Does what I’m going to say and believe have any historical value, or has it already been proven to be erred?
3. Is what I’m going to say or believe ready to be changed by me when I realize that at least part of it is wrong?
Jesus said it this way: “By your words you are justified and by your words your are condemned.”
From that, I gain the insight to use my freedom of speech and religion, BUT … to do it wisely.
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******
Jonathots, Jr.!
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https://jonathots.wordpress.com/jonathots-jr/
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A voice writing in the wilderness
Jonathots Daily Blog 