Sit Down Comedy …March 8th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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I recently moved, abandoning my old fortress of solitude for new digs, which I now comfortably call home.

In my whole life I have done this process twelve times. I was a little surprised to discover that this is statistically average.

Whenever I move, the first thing I do is go out and buy a box of garbage bags. Why? Because I’m going to give away a whole lot of stuff. These are the materials that crept into my life, were used temporarily, and ended up being stored in my closet or corners, where I intentionally forgot them.

It’s a very easy evaluation process. As I begin to pack things, I look at each item and ask myself the following three questions:

1. Have I used this in the past three months?
2. Will I use it a lot in the next three months?
3. Is there someone who would really like to use it right now?

It makes things so easy. I not only end up moving but am able to bless a whole bunch of people who get the rejects I’ve been keeping around out of sentimentality mingled with laziness.

But you see, likewise, every once in a while, when something in my life needs to be moved, shifted or rearranged, I will dare to enter my closet of emotions and see what might be in there that is unnecessary.

There are three main culprits:

A. Worry

It gets shuffled to the rear and pretends it’s not there until you glance at it and then, the apprehension surfaces.

B. Pride

It always likes to be hung up high where it can be seen but does nothing to enhance my being except puff up my ego and is quickly deflated by reality.

C. And finally, self-pity

This one really likes to hide, like a cockroach surprised by turning on the light in the middle of the night. It likes to pretend it doesn’t exist, but self-pity literally “bugs me.”

When I look at these emotions—worry, pride and self-pity—I know deep in my heart that they’re worthless, but I keep them around for those times when others are not concerned, praising me—or they might even be ignoring me.

They suck. Yes, these fretting emotions literally suck the life out of me.

Because when I pose the three questions to them, which need to be asked of any emotion, they always fail. The three questions are:

• Is this emotion making me money?
• Is this emotion making me friends?
• Is this emotion making me smarter?

Honestly, I do not feel old, but I am too ancient to waste time worrying pridefully in a puddle of self-pity. I need things in my life that make me money, friends and turn me into a smarter being.

So will you join me in grabbing a sack, finding your worry, your pride and your self-pity, bagging it up and giving it away for Goodwill?

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1 Thing You Can Do This Week (To Be Right-Minded)

There is a vibration that comes off of us when our thinking is aligned with the circumstances at hand and it is obvious that our spirit is willing to negotiate some bumpy roads. We can feel it in each other.

Even though we develop a tolerance for those who pull up weak and find themselves clamoring for assistance, there is a sense in our tribe that we wish each one of us would “get our minds right” and therefore be a contributor instead of a taker.

The one thing you can do this week to communicate to all the delightful souls around you that you are right-minded is simply:

BE WRONG AND OWN IT

If you are able to maintain your enthusiasm, people will trust you to pick up the pieces of the mistake and restore wholeness.

But if you cop an attitude, blame everybody around you and seem to have deflated your balloon, then people will take the opportunity out of your hands and find someone else to do it.

At that point you can feel free to pout, but you’ve already communicated through your despair that you’re not prepared to repair. The goal for this week:

AND AGAIN I SAY, BE WRONG AND OWN IT

As you maintain your enthusiasm, just watch. People will rally to your side, and trust you to try again.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly donation for this inspirational opportunity

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Cracked 5 … September 15th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3796)

Signs that the Summer is Over

A. Your fifth batch of pool toys is officially deflated

 

B. Flip-flops are marked down

 

C. It’s colder

 

D. High school cheerleaders go back on the pill

 

E. Christmas decorations

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity