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Cracked 5 … August 14th, 2018
Jonathots Daily Blog
(3765)
Since the mustache continues to persist (like the flu) here are some types to be looking out for:
The Bushy Broom
(Sweepin’ those gals off their feet)
The Magic Marker
(Probably put on with a magic marker)
The Caterpillar
(Creepy, with no possibility of turning into a butterfly)
The Dictator
(Will all hairs please report to the middle of the lip?)
The Sparse Farce
(Time to face it. You can’t grow a mustache)
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Cracked 5 … June 12th, 2018
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Things You Can Learn About a North Korean Dictator a Mere Minute After Meeting Him
A. He talks funny
B. He has funny eyes
C. He has funny hair
D. His uniform is really funny
E. He, on the other hand, is not funny
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Salient … April 30th, 2018
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Kim Jong-un is the dictator from North Korea. He is thirty-three years old–at least, we think so. (Birthdays are not nearly as important in the little country, since there’s a shortage on cakes and balloons.)
I suppose we could spend some time discussing his erratic behavior, threats, totalitarian attitude and despotism. That seems to be the favored profile of most commentators and politicians in the United States.
But while our government was slinging threats at this young man as he feverishly plotted to blow the world up with his missiles, there was another plan in the hatching.
Kim took the Olympics to offer an olive branch to his South Korean brethren. He sent a family member down to represent him, and all sorts of athletes and cheerleaders to add a festive coloration to the proceedings. Most recently, he sat down for talks in China, and also with his nemesis, the President of South Korea.
He has made it clear that he’s willing to consider doing away with nuclear proliferation, and is willing to discuss it in a pow-wow with President Trump.
As we posture on being “the greatest nation on Earth,” this young dictator has outfoxed us. If he hasn’t done it on purpose, he has certainly performed a supreme job of lining up a series of accidental brilliant moves:
He has the United States appearing heavy-handed.
He has the full attention of the whole world, simply by appearing to have changed his mind.
And yes–he’s doing his best impression of sanity.
We can claim it’s not real, but he continues to baffle the critics with his compliance. Those who choose to vilify him are beginning to look ridiculous.
It is all part of a very simple axiom, which needs to be learned by every grade-school student in America, and perhaps throughout the face of the Earth:
The first one to stop acting stupid is proclaimed smart.
It works every time.
Two bullies standing nose-to-nose win no friends. Why? Because they’re both bullies. But if one bully decides to back away and cease the brawl, then the entire playground sides with him or her, leaving the other bully the villain.
Will our country be intelligent enough to take even the higher ground than Kim Jong-un?
I don’t know.
But here’s your salient moment:
Strong only projects strength. Weakness always looks stronger–if it has a smarter plan.
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G-Poppers … April 29th, 2016
Jonathots Daily Blog
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G-Pop has a healthy and energetic disagreement with those who say they’re “sick and tired.”
Matter of fact, this phrase has become one of the favorite patters of the pundits.
“America is angry…”
Of course they’re angry. They live in a democracy where most of the time they won’t get their way. It’s the law of averages.
How often will your particular preference be in the majority? And if it isn’t, you are culturally and politically pushed to the side in favor of the plurality.
As I said, it’s called democracy–and democracy is like broccoli. No one particularly favors it, but everyone knows it’s good for them.
For example, if you want guns, be prepared to accept gays.
If you want to choose how you worship, make sure you understand that you must give every woman the right to choose what she does with her own body.
And if you love to celebrate the heritage of your genealogy, be fully aware there are those who are trying to come into our country who would also love to begin their own experience of generations.
If you are intent on pursuing your path and agenda exclusively, you will have to find a leader–a king, a queen, a shah, a dictator, an ayatollah–who agrees with your ideas, and place this person in power, being aware that eventually this absolute ruler will come along and take away something you really enjoy.
Otherwise, you should stay with a system called America, which is horribly flawed, but equally punishing to all of its citizens. And what is this punishment?
- You’re not going to get what you want.
- You will be part of an experiment of discovering the common good.
So for those who think America is angry, let me say: Get over it.
You are free.
But so is he.
And so is she.
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Iffing Way–Part 4: UnPharoah … November 10, 2014
Jonathots Daily Blog
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What if a voice of sanity had risen up at various stages in the story of human history, to offer a challenging view when craziness was about to win the day?
If …
It all revolved around a game of intimidation.
The only way to protect your particular parcel of land from intrusion and invasion was to convince other kingdoms nearby that you were well-established, well-fortified and darned well intent on fighting to the death to “keep your own.” Thus the purpose for building huge walls, great monuments and fortifications.
Thutmose III was well aware of the situation.
As Pharoah of Egypt, it was his job to maintain the order of his domain and keep his citizens safe from the marauding hordes. Any sign of weakness was an invitation to be destroyed by the stronger villains of the desert.
To build such huge constructions took man power. Now, society was divided into four sections:
- royalty, which would never lift a finger for such tasks
- farmers, who raised the food which kept the citizenry in bread and wine
- soldiers, who protected the sovereignty of the turf
- and slaves, the cheapest labor possible, to perform the most arduous duties
After many years of peaceful coexistence with the Jews, the Egyptians grew tired of this clan of immigrants who seemed to be overtaking the social order of the land. A movement began against them. It was decided that the free meal ticket provided by the previous Pharoah, out of loving deference to Joseph, should be terminated and that these people should be put to hard labor, working for the state.
The pressure was immense.
Matter of fact, sitting in front of Thutmose III was an edict to proclaim all Jews as slaves. All that was needed was his seal. Then the document would become a holy edict, enforced viciously by the taskmasters against these people without a country.
He delayed.
He stalled so long that his critics began to call him a coward, and even a traitor. Thutmose III tried to draw a deep breath of wisdom and sanity. For after all, what seems prudent today has arms, legs, breath and anger in the future generations subjected to the treatment.
What should he do?
After many nights, lying sleepless in his bed, he devised a plan. He decided to alternate his work force–take the relocated Jews and put them in the fields for part of the year and bring the field workers in to build the walls and monuments necessary to maintain a sense of control.
He also concluded that it was unnecessary to build many pyramids–one for each Pharoah who died. Why not one gigantic pyramid for all the rulers who had gone on? It would be just as intimidating and beautiful, but more easily conceived and carried out by the workers.
When Thutmose III presented his plan to the council they immediately rejected it, which made no difference whatsoever, since he was a dictator.
Reluctantly, the plan was carried out and the Jews, rather than being slaves, were turned into brethren with a variety of tasks to contribute to the cause.
After many years and much success with this new plan, the Council of the Jewish people, under the leadership of a man named Moses, came and asked for permission to emigrate to another land, where they would take the experiences of Egypt and their own faith, and build a life.
It was negotiated. It was agreed.
The transition was smooth because it was not the escaping of slaves, but rather, the releasing of friends to their new mission.
Thutmose III died a happy man, interred in the greatest pyramid ever constructed, having saved a whole race of people from slavery and allowing for that same tribe to find their God and their expression.
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The Sermon on the Mount in music and story. Click the mountain!
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Populie: People Want to be Free … October 1, 2014
Jonathots Daily Blog
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Freedom is great. A very popular battle cry.
People want to be free. Hold on a second. We just stepped into a populie.
Even though entertainment, politics and religion love to tout the power of a struggle in which someone or some people who are oppressed gain independence from an oppressor, the truth of the matter is, most of the world is not free nor does it desire to be.
Even though since our inception, we evangelistically have preached the gospel of 1776 all over the world, we’ve had few takers.
Cuba, the Philippines, Germany, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Panama, Afghanistan and Iraq have all felt a push from us to accept our form of government, only, in varying degrees, to opt for their own choice.
I think it’s important to understand what people do want:
1. People want to be free of responsibility.
It’s a garden-variety human error–and when I say “garden,” I mean Eden. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the devil. We’re just repelled by the notion of being held accountable for deeds.
Even though many countries do grumble about the King, the Parliament, the Magistrate or even the Dictator, the structure grants them a scapegoat between reality and their need to change.
2. People want to be rich.
I did not say that people want to work. People want to satisfy the passing whim, which in their minds means having obtuse amounts of cash to throw at the latest fancy. Even if the craving is just their daily bread, they would rather believe that they don’t have to bake it.
3. People want to be free of people.
We have come to the conclusion that the greatest interference in our lives is the competition from other human beings, which tends to split a pot, prohibiting us from becoming rich and independent.
So you can see, the American rendition pontificated by Jefferson by proclaiming, “all men are created equal,” immediately runs into a wall of resistance by those who are running from responsibility, seeking riches and always somewhat angry at their neighbors.
We must be honest, in 1861, we couldn’t get the North and South in America to agree that “people want to be free.”
So is there an answer?
First of all, let me say that I believe the true definition of imperialism is thinking that the joy, peace, contentment and direction you have found in your life can be transferred to other people by forcing them, or even by teaching them.
Frankly, I’m not so sure that we all evolved directly from the monkey–but we do like to ape the success we see, rather than having it legislated for us.
America will eventually have to let the countries of the world find their own way instead of treating them like errant children who need to be punished.
I don’t mean to burst anyone’s balloon, but people don’t want to be free. So the best thing we can do to help our fellow-men is to:
A. Make things simpler
B. Make things more reasonable
C. And make sure our country, churches and entertainment are less judgmental.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity
The Sermon on the Mount in music and story. Click the mountain!
Click here to get info on the “Gospel According to Common Sense” Tour
Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about scheduling SpiriTed in 2014.
Click here to listen to Spirited music
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