Jonathots Daily Blog
(2014)
I am a poison.
It is a rather recent discovery; may I say, somewhat disheartening?
I always viewed myself as a perpetually refreshing drink, cooling and soothing–a blessing, if you will.
I’ve worked very hard … (Oh, forgive me for that. How pretentious.) Truthfully, I’ve simply focused on a couple of principles of congeniality in an attempt to turn myself into a pleasant beverage.
So imagine my surprise the other night, when I discovered that a relationship I’ve nurtured for twenty-one years was actually needful of termination in order for the person I was trying to assist and enlighten to escape my poison.
Yes, to him, I was deadly.
It isn’t true of most folks. Most individuals I encounter take in my elixir and find it intoxicating and sweet. But I must be fully aware that the choices I’ve made, the person I’ve become and the attitudes I hold dear are poisonous to travelers whose bumps in the road have varied greatly from mine.
I wondered if there was a way for me to change my configuration just enough to cease to be venom to this journeyman–and then I came to the conclusion that some things are just not meant to be. The reason we need everybody in the whole world is because the world is big and varied in its tastes, and one dose of medicine does not necessarily heal all ailments.
Still, I felt a deep sense of loss and hurt. Was it vanity? Was it some sort of childish tantrum: “How dare this human being find ME repugnant?”
Did I really care about him? Or only have feelings about him as it related to me?
Good questions. I’m really not sure.
But you see, it doesn’t really make any difference. In this case, I am a dose of humanity which should be bypassed because my chemistry is lethal.
There is a maturity that settles into our souls when we realize that we are not someone’s cup of tea, but instead, their mug of hemlock.
Is it possible to have universal value? Yes. But that treasure always has to contain the word “love,” and the presence of love always means to seek better for others.
I am not “better” for my friend. My way of thinking, doing, walking and living is a source of aggravation.
This is why we need a savior–because quite honestly, none of us are able to save ourselves and the human representations around us are often murderous.
I learned something. I came to the blessed conclusion that we make ourselves available to others, allow them to sip and not insist that they gulp, granting them the opportunity to determine whether our particular concoction is nutritious to their being.
We grow up as people when we realize that if they need us it is good … and if they don’t, it is even better.
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Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about personal appearances or scheduling an event
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I have come to give you abundant life.
Jonathots Daily Blog 