3 Things… March 22nd, 2018

Jonathots Daily Blog

(3619)

To Do When You’re Trying to Lose Weight and Suddenly Become Convinced That You’re Hungry

1. Drink.

Water, tea, cola–some sort of fluid. Eight ounces. Don’t chug, but drink it down in less than two minutes. Fills space in your stomach.

2. Change your location.

Leave the room, depart the house, take a nap, go to bed early. The brain changes with your whim and motion.

3. Tell the person with you that you are struggling.

Talk. Speech relieves the instinct to eat because it uses the mouth. If you’re alone, pick up your phone.

 

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Cracked 5 … January 12th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2811)

Best Ways to Win a College Football National Championship

A. Carefully find legal steroids.

 

B. Pray before the game, cheat during the game, drink after the game.

 

C. Confiscate all the college finance for really cool, shiny helmets

 

D. Have plenty of colorful players–as long as they don’t date your daughters.

 

E. Be grumpy and surly and insist it’s because you are a relentless perfectionist.

 

The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity