1 Thing You Want Them to Say About You in 100 Years

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Now, this was a tough one.

It wasn’t difficult because virtues or values are hard to come by.

I just found it particularly prickly to land on one thing as a memorial to the soul.

So I came up with a trio of closing possibilities, and after I share them, I will tell you which one I would pick to be known for in 2120.

Here’s the trio:

Funny

Being known as funny is a door-opener during Earthly life and shouldn’t be any different for past remembrance. Once people establish that you’re funny, they can start telling stories which prove their point. In those stories you will always appear to be an ingenious comedian, which is not a bad way to be regarded.

Smart

When you consider the option of being dumb—or even slow—smart has great appeal. Then your family can have recollections of when you used your gray matter to cover all matter of weirdness and problems that came your way.

Kind

Often, it’s the first question we ask about someone we don’t know.

• Were they kind?
• Were they nice?
• Did they choose a profile of openness when meeting others or launching into an encounter?

Kind is just kinda wonderful.

So feeling the need to give a title to this episode of 1 Thing, I personally want to be known as funny.

Because without good cheer, there just doesn’t seem to be any way to overcome the world.

 

Cracked 5 … September 7th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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Things That Happen to Teachers About Two Weeks After School Begins

 

A. Run out of other words for dumb

 

B.  Have shown their entire wardrobe, including accessories

 

C.  Devoid of nice things to say about cafeteria food

 

D.  Want to personally strangle all new teachers who just got out of college

 

E.  Finding ways to punk students without getting exposed

 

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The F Word … March 12th, 2019

THE

WORD

I was there, live and in person, when “golly” surrendered, without a shot, to “OMG.” Oh, My God.

Likewise, when “Geez” transformed into “Jesus H. Christ.”

Darn it, after that, “heck” didn’t have a chance. “Damn” and “hell” reigned supreme for quite a season.

Then people stopped referring to the “butt of a joke” and screamed at you to “get off your ass.”

Time passed.

It seemed like “give a shit” would hang around, but the times, they are a’changin’.

Here comes “what the fuck.”

“Fuck” is like an old friend who got lost in the wilderness but came back into the house, was ready to sleep on the sofa and willing to throw in a few bucks for pizza.

It stuck closer than a brother.

It became a noun, an adjective, a verb, an interjection—and I do believe I have even heard it used, from time to time, as an adverb: (“…he said fuckily…”)

This disturbs many people, who yearn for the time when language was carefully watched by censoring forces who desired that anything untoward would not cross the ears of young children, or even mature adults.

We most certainly know that Rhett Butler would never say, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” if he was able to let Scarlett know that he didn’t “give a fuck.”

It is not the profanity of f-u-c-k that makes it particularly nasty. Although overused, it is not the foulness of the word that creates a problem. It’s just that on the journey from “golly” to “fuck” we got angrier.

We’re not using the language to be clever or cute. We’re using the word because we’re more pissed off than we used to be.

We even tease with a friendly “fuck” to remind people that just beneath the surface is a bubbling oil, ready to spill out and burn anyone in sight if they dare cross our path.

It would be absolutely fine if we could “fuck this, fuck that” and “fuck the other” if it was accompanied by a smile instead of gritting teeth.

It may be necessary to back off the language just to give us the chance to regain some civility. Because you can tell me I’m dumb all day long and I may not like it, but if you tell me to go fuck myself, we’re at war.

So let us not be childish.

First, let’s not be Puritans, pretending that language can be controlled and taken back to an 1853 purity.

But also, let’s not be so idiotic as to assume that the rampant use of more and more “fucks” in our society does not mean that we’ve lost control and no longer have the ability to deal rationally with each other, without tempers flaring.

So the F word is “fuck”

This is not because it’s particularly profane, but because it is a precursor to violent behavior.

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Salient…June 11th, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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There are matters that are too important to ignore or leave to chance. These are salient moments.

Even though it is not the holiday season, I found myself thinking about the song, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”

If you are six years old, the title of this tune is frightening, leading your young mind to believe there’s a divorce in the making, custody battles and certainly a scandal awaiting the great Toymaker to the North.

If you happen to be older–let’s say above fourteen years of age–you don’t have quite the visceral reaction, since you have some inside information which might explain the circumstance. In other words, there might be a reason that Mommy is kissing Santa Claus that the young tyke isn’t fully aware of.

This is the advantage of knowledge, especially when it’s clothed with a great coat of common sense, and sits in a comfortable chair, with calmness.

Yet we, who are supposed to be grownups, are being carried away by all sorts of foolishness and deceptions, as if we are unaware of the possibility of different interpretations.

In politics, we’ve convinced ourselves that lying is an acceptable part of the practice, even though, in our mature minds, we are cognizant of the fact that no liar ever totally gets by with his or her fabrication.

In social interaction, we don’t seem to be able to distinguish the difference between a very poorly executed attempt at flirtation, harrasment, stalking and rape.

And in our religious realms, we deem ourselves to be the judges of humanity, when we were warned by the Judge of All not to don His auspicious robes.

To put it plainly, we are much smarter and more sophisticated than we pretend to be. Just as we know Mommy’s not really kissing Santa Claus, we likewise know that politicians can’t lie without eventually being destroyed, men and women need to learn how to interact with each other without singeing the edges with sexuality, and God needs to be worshipped instead of our fellow-human-beings defamed because they fail to measure up to chapter and verse.

We can do better.

• We can actually take responsibility for the intelligence we’re supposed to have.
• We can walk in the mercy we require for ourselves.
• And we can garner the respect for one another that our own souls yearn to receive.

So for our salient moment:

Be as smart as you need to be by making sure you do not dumb down the world around you by pretending that dumb things should be heard.

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … October 26th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Foxes Have Holes

Tweedle-dee

He ain’t dumb

Perched by the road

Considered a bum

‘Tis not funny

He needs money

I, in turn

Express concern

He does not require

My hearth or home fire

Simple he is, you see

Frantic to remain free

He trails into the night

With only the stars for light

And nibbles a tiny snack

Lying flat on his back

Staring at the changing moon

Humming an unknown tune

Some say he is a drinker

But perhaps a different thinker

An inner city blight

Or tired of the fight

Possessed by mental disease

Or doing as he may please

We are so very sure

Our path is just and pure

We cling to tried tradition

And rebuke his odd rendition

Unsure of what he may feel

We are certain he will steal

Making the beggar beg some more

Having the means but slamming the door

We decide for him what is best

A family, friends, a feathered nest

He’s a sparrow, needing to fly

Weary of the struggle, the perpetual lie

All he needs is a little cash

A tiny piece of my stash

So will I offer condemnation?

Or allow my heart consideration

Foxes have holes, said the carpenter’s son

But I sleep alone … when the day is done

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … April 16th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man: Did you ever see a three-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy treat each other differently?

 

Dear Woman: Absolutely not.

 

Dear Man: So you see, all these things that we are told are “instinctive” in the genders of our species are really instructed and nearly beat into us during our upbringing.

 

Dear Woman: Well, beat is a little strong.

 

Dear Man: Is it? Because my problem with men right now is that I feel it’s my responsibility to trick them, lie to them and ease them into situations of my liking.

 

Dear Woman: Likewise, I am informed that you are a ticking time bomb which I should be careful handling, or otherwise the whole mess will blow up in my face.

 

Dear Man: It makes us passive-aggressive. In other words, there’s something I want, but I have to cheat or deceive my way into accomplishing it, because I am not really convinced you have my best interest at heart.

 

Dear Woman: With all due respect, it is comically driven home to me that you couldn’t possibly be interested in what excites me, so I have to hide it from you to keep peace.

 

Dear Man: So here’s the question. Can we have a passive-aggresive relationship with each other, based upon dishonesty, and expect to ever enter the realm of affection, which includes trust?

 

Dear Woman: Hell, no. Candidly, I don’t trust you. I don’t believe you’re out for my best. I don’t think you have any desire to include me in your inner sanctum of truth, but instead, want to wheedle and deedle around my wishes just so you can have a dinner partner.

 

Dear Man: That’s a little strong. But I basically feel the same way–except I’m really wheedling and deedling to be able to say that I’m not alone and that I’ve fulfilled the American dream of being attractive enough to bag a partner.

 

Dear Woman: So if the system’s rotten, do we have to tear down the whole thing and start over?

 

Dear Man: No, I don’t think so. That’s too exhausting. I think we just have to make sure we don’t make the same mistake that Adam and Eve did.

 

Dear Woman: Okay. Elaborate.

 

Dear Man: Well, my understanding of the story is that Eve didn’t really agree with the instructions about what to eat in this Garden, but had no means of communicating with God–or the man she was with. So she went passive-aggressive. She took Adam on a walk, and they ended up at the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and because she was dissatisfied and unable to share her feelings, she fell into a trap of being attracted to the beauty of the tree and the notion that eating that fruit would make her smarter. Honestly–nobody wants to be smarter unless they fear they’re dumb. Who made her feel dumb? Was it Adam’s silence after sex? Did she think God and Adam were in a club that did not include her? But if you read the story, Adam is with her the whole time–but passively aggressively pretends that it’s all her doing. So pretty early on, the human race began to act like the opposite sex was just that–opposite.

 

Dear Woman: I never thought of it that way, but it’s completely logical. So here’s what I get out of this. First, if I don’t understand, I should tell you I don’t understand and not be afraid that you’ll think I’m an idiot.

 

Dear Man: And if I don’t agree, I should be able to tell you I don’t agree without coming across like I’m right instead of just curious.

 

Dear Woman: And we shouldn’t assume that the other person won’t like something just because of the way they comb their hair.

 

Dear Man: Comb their hair?

 

Dear Woman: I thought of other things, but that was the most polite way to say it.

 

Dear Man: Passive-aggressive is when I think I can control you by withholding information.

 

Dear Woman: Withholding information is what we do when we want to be dominant instead of cooperative.

 

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … March 19th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Woman: I read your note four times. The first two times, I did so to understand what you were saying to me and to let it sink in. But I read it two more times just because I was afraid there was going to be a quiz.

For you see, as much as you hate being treated as a weakling, I despise the fact that you think I’m dumb.

I understand you hear it from everywhere: “Women are smarter than men.”

I’m not dumb. It bothers me.

So I suppose when I get defensive, I start looking for ways to overpower you to compensate for my alleged stupidity.

Then I watch “Law and Order: SVU” and it tells me that women are constantly raped and killed. Word has it from “Fifty Shades of Grey” that you ladies enjoy being dominated. And then the religious system out there proclaims that I’m supposed to be the “king of my household.”

I’m so damn confused.

So here’s what I want you to know: I’m just like you. It’s about my heart, not my penis.

Don’t you understand? I’m a man, but I’m just as emotional as the next human. Hell, I cry when my football team loses the championship. Is that any different from weeping over lost kittens?

But I just can’t tolerate being treated as dumb, so I strike out at you by acting like you’re the weaker sex.

So you feel treated as “weaker” and I feel treated as “dumber.”

Let me tell you this: I can love you but I can’t change the world. I’m not Superman, and if that’s what you need, then you probably should become Supergirl.

I want to be able to tell you where I’m weak without you thinking I’m less.

I want to have an idea without it being dismissed as ridiculous.

And then it will be easier for me to stop treating you like you’re an underling.

The reason we can’t negotiate a deal is that our egos get in the way. I keep waiting for you to treat me like I’m smart, and you want me to treat you like you’re strong. And all the time, society tells us that we’re “weak” and “dumb.”

The only thing I can promise at this stage is to inform you that I’m not going to listen to what our culture tells me I should be.

I don’t think you’re weak.

Please don’t think I’m dumb.

Yours,

Man

 

 

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