Cracked 5 … December 8th, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

(3879)

Cracked 5

Signs Santa is Depressed

A.  Burns his workout video

B.  Demands Rudolph get a nose job

C. Mocks the stupid letters he receives

D. More nog than egg

E. Puts things up high where the elves can’t reach them

 

depressed Santa

 

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Cracked 5… December 23, 2014

  Jonathots Daily Blog

(2452)

cracked 5 logo keeper with border final

Secrets the elves know about Santa Claus:

A. Santa Claus dated Lady Godiva before marrying Mrs. Claus

B. Because Santa is so chubby, the elves had to hypnotize him into thinking garage doors were chimneys.

C. Santa’s farts smell like candy canes and bratwurst.

D. In his early career, Santa was picked up for swerving in his sleigh by the Colorado Highway Patrol after leaving a vigorous egg nog promotion.

E. Santa Claus hates chocolate chip cookies.

Santa and elf

 

 

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