From the Stacks … October 16th, 2020

Upon occasion, something written by Jonathan long ago seems downright prophetic. When I happen upon one of these, I shall publish it under the category, “From the Stacks.”

The little essay was below written in 2017 (though never published on Jonathots Daily Blog). 

It is both prophetic and funny–no easy feat in this day and age.  –J Clazzy


The Thirty Second Philosophy

Watching television yesterday, my program was interrupted by a testing of the Emergency Broadcast System–thirty seconds of beeps and buzzes, making me wonder why it was necessary.

But it got me thinking.

What if that broadcasting system started to proclaim that a disaster was in the making?

Maybe a meteor struck the Earth, an atomic bomb?

Or what if a tidal wave from an angry ocean was descending upon us?

What if I had just thirty seconds to live?

What would I do?

I was amazed at how quickly I came up with an answer.

Four things came to my mind:

1. “Thanks, God.”

After all, no need to get grumpy at this point, right?

2. “I love you all.”

Getting picky over people right now seems really ridiculous.

3. “I hope we’re right about that heaven thing.”

Worse than dying in thirty seconds is the whole idea that you’re REALLY, REALLY dead.

And finally:

4. “You can have anything left in my refrigerator.”

Honestly? There’s some pretty good stuff in there.

As the Emergency Broadcast System test ended, I paused and thought over my list.

I liked it.

Matter of fact, I’ve decided to adopt it, even when I’m NOT threatened by termination.

I have dubbed it my Thirty Second Philosophy, which I shall use 24/7.

Let’s all practice it:

  • Thanks, God.
  • I love you all.
  • Sure hope we’re right about heaven.
  • And you are welcome to anything left over in my refrigerator.
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