Cracked 5 … February 14th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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cracked 5 logo keeper with border

New Names for the Attitudes Settling into Our Society

 

A. Obstipissed: “I am stubborn and angry.”

 

B. Femiknows: A woman who still believes in equal rights but has given up on it actually happening

 

C. Lietrust: The confidence you have in someone because you know they will always fib

 

D. Christican: A churchgoer who worships God in the image of Ronald Reagan

 

E. Demojeez: A politician who thinks Jesus wears Crocs and gives out toothpaste, condoms and soup at the homeless shelter

 

cracked-5-ronnie-reagan

 

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … December 24th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man Dear Woman

Man: One of the things that’s always fascinated me about Christmas is that Jesus was supposed to be born “the Son of David”–because of his family and all–but Mary was a virgin, right?

 

Woman: That’s her story and she’s stickin’ to it.

 

Man: So if she’s a virgin, does that mean we go through all that lineage of David, and then at the last moment, Joseph doesn’t get to be the Daddy of the Messiah?

 

Woman: That’s right–although there are some who insist that Mary was also the lineage of David. But if that was the case, Matthew and Luke would have traced her lineage to make the point that Jesus was a really, really fine Jewish boy.

 

Man: That is so far out. Why don’t people talk about that more?

 

Woman: That’s easy. Since this is a male-dominated world, and most Christians don’t want to offend Jews by promoting a Savior who didn’t have “David” in him, we choose to overlook the real story, and probably in the process, disguise the humor of God.

 

Man: Well, to me the significance is that God had no intention of making the best friend of all humankind come just from the Jewish race.

 

Woman: And to me, the importance is that God chose to bewilder everybody by pulling off His great blessing by using just a woman.

 

Man: So what you’re telling me is that in the Middle East, where women are considered to be less than men–maybe barely above livestock–they still worship the King of Kings, who didn’t have any Earthly daddy. Just a mommy and God.

 

Woman: That’s right. God will not be manipulated. God is not angry at the Jews, but He also doesn’t consider them to be his “chosen people.” Jesus came to be the brother of all humans–therefore Eastern astrologers, Palestinian shepherds and folks from Egypt knew him as a boy, right along with all the faithful of the Moses crowd.

 

Man: What an amazing story.

 

Woman: I’d go further than that. It’s a classic bluff. The Jewish people struggled with their faith for years and years, so God gave them a new faith they could believe in that had nothing to do with being a Jew, but instead was about learning to become a human being of the whole Earth.

 

Man: Christmas is so cool. It’s so ballsy. Just the faith of Mary and Joseph to stick together, wise men to follow a star, shepherds to believe angels, and God to snub tradition–to birth Jesus solely through Mary.

 

Woman: So I guess that clears the air on what God thinks about equal rights…

 

Man: God is a feminist. He chose a female to be His partner in salvation.

 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … July 15th, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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PoHymn July 15

Daisy Choice

Her name is Daisy Choice

Who should be granted voice

Equality at last to find

A chance to use her mind

As one with all the boys.

 

She started quite the same

With no one chosen to blame

Played fiercely side by side

Leaped upon each playground ride

And joined in every game.

 

But then a twist of fate

An urge to find a mate

Left her wanting to please

Weaker mouse yearning for cheese

Scurrying to acquire second-rate.

 

So the men pretend to be

Guided by their she

While they rule a violent Earth

And make her Mother Birth

Denying her a chance to see

 

We will never gain true peace

While Daisy is forced to her knees

Looking for her equal pay

Choosing human things to say

Instead of playing the tease.

 

So back to the Garden again

Long before original sin

To work hand in hand

Woman with the man

To possess the mutual win.

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