Cracked 5 … October 5th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

(4188)

Best Excuses for Not Going to Church

A. Every time I drive by, your parking lot is full.

 

B. I have uncontrollable farting when I’m in public.

 

C. My dad was Jehovah’s Witness, my wife, Mormon, and my daughter is in final study of Wicca, to become a witch.

 

D. Do you have a nurse on site? I have seizures.

 

E. Listen, I’ll come—if first, you can help me pay my rent and gambling debts.

 

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Cracked 5 … June 5th, 2018

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Jonathots Daily Blog

(3694)

Other Indiscretions That Might Be Considered for Additions to the Seven Deadly Sins

A. Laughing at a network sitcom

 

B. Bringing a Bible to a party

 

C. Referring to your dog or cat as children

 

D. Repetitive farting on a long car trip

 

E. Letting a fly into the house

 

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Cracked 5 …March 3, 2015

 Jonathots Daily Blog

(2520)

Other Things You Can Say After Farting in Public

A. “Wow. I had to work on that one for a half an hour.”

B. “I pronounce this as a blessing to the entire room.”

C. “It wasn’t me, dammit. It wasn’t me!”

D. “Please excuse my imaginary friend, Randall. He ate cabbage.”

E. “Attention! I am conducting a study. What do you think that smells like?”

 

 

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