Cracked 5 … May 22nd, 2018


Jonathots Daily Blog

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Names for Farts That Sound Like English Royal Families

 

A. The Earl of Stench

 

B. Richard the Lion-Farted

 

C. The Stuart of Squirt

 

D. Mary Queen of Pots

 

E. The House of Tooter

 

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Cracked 5… December 23, 2014

  Jonathots Daily Blog

(2452)

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Secrets the elves know about Santa Claus:

A. Santa Claus dated Lady Godiva before marrying Mrs. Claus

B. Because Santa is so chubby, the elves had to hypnotize him into thinking garage doors were chimneys.

C. Santa’s farts smell like candy canes and bratwurst.

D. In his early career, Santa was picked up for swerving in his sleigh by the Colorado Highway Patrol after leaving a vigorous egg nog promotion.

E. Santa Claus hates chocolate chip cookies.

Santa and elf

 

 

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