3 Things … May 2nd, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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That Just Can’t Be Beat

1. Having a smorgasbord of life with a side order of humor

 

2. Possessing a twinge more humility than talent

 

3.  Ohio State when it plays Michigan

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Sit Down Comedy …March 29th, 2019

Jonathots Daily Blog

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I, too, have no collusion with rushin’.

Slow down

That’s what I say.

Slow-cooked chicken. Give the bird a chance to reflect on its journey before you dip it in the gravy.

I like the slow lane on the freeway, just in case, on a whim, I decide to exit.

I’m the guy you honk at because I’m going the speed limit

And for some goddamn reason this has ruined your life.

I had to quit football because there was running. I loved the blocking. I loved the tackling. Looked pretty good in the uniform. I could not convince my coach that running was unnecessary. He explained that the other team would have people carrying the ball, and we must chase them, and stop them. I suggested we surround them and move in slowly for the kill. He didn’t agree.

I was at a department store yesterday, entering the door, when two ladies in front of us stopped to chat with a friend. It blocked the entrance. I was happy. For a few moments I didn’t have to move.

The lady right in front of me, turned and peered at me, hoping to get support for how stupid it was for these two women to be talking to another human, blocking her progress. She move her cart around them, but there was no room. Finally the two women who were having the delightful conversation realized they were being assaulted from the rear and stepped aside.

The lady zoomed by, disgusted.

She’s fast.

I’m not. All my turtles win by a “hare.”

So you can imagine how ill-suited I am for a season in which how speedily things are accomplished is more important than the quality of what is produced. I dare to say that’s the entire problem in our nation.

We have the evangelical church, which is racing around looking for signs of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ, while young people are testing the temperature and depth of the oceans, convinced we’re all in hot water, preparing to cook like lobsters.

Here I am, slowing down

We have picked our past four Presidents because they were like fast cars and we were acting like teenagers.

Bill Clinton was not ready to be President. He and his wife had not yet made their peace about his flirtations and womanizing.

George W. Bush should never have been President. We should have put him in charge of CIA Black Ops, and he could have murdered Saddam Hussein, which would have saved tens of thousands of lives and about a trillion dollars.

Barack Obama was also ill-prepared for the transition. Although a pleasant man, he did not understand the futility that had to be overcome to lead the country and fell victim to cunning minds.

And Donald Trump was doing extraordinarily well working with buildings and an “Apprentice” here and there, without being given a job which cannot always be negotiated through “The Art of the Deal.”

It was all too fast

And because of that, we are in the midst of an ongoing “clean-up on Aisle 3,” with mistakes being made which don’t seem to mop up.

So not being in a hurry to give my opinion, and allowing myself a space of time to think, I will tell you…

(to be continued)


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3 Things… January 18th, 2018

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That Are Necessary to Win the Super Bowl

1. Establish a running game, so your offensive linemen can meter the match-up they have against their immediate opponent.

 

2. In the passing game, use crossing routes with your tight ends with easy pitch-and-catch, to build the confidence of the quarterback.

 

3. Score more points than the other team.

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Good News and Better News… February 6th, 2017

 

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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tom-brady

I thought I was going to watch a game–America’s annual gala event, the Super Bowl.

There were banners, bands, stars, announcers, hoopla, hot dogs, beer and two teams dressed up real special for the occasion.

At first, it appeared I was correct. The whole thing was playing out like a normal football game. Touchdowns. Turnovers. Terrible plays. Terrific catches.

And then, all at once, it changed.

Suddenly displayed before my eyes was the difference of participating and competing–and also the chasm between competing and striving.

First of all, every player on both teams showed up to participate. They knew their places. They were familiar with their assignments. They were in a position to perform very well, as long as nothing went horribly wrong.

A goodly portion of them were also pre-conditioned to compete. That means a fumbled ball would not send them into a depression, and they were ready to cash in on the trends of the game so as to gain an advantage.

But by the time the third quarter rolled around, it was obvious that there was only one player who showed up to strive.

He was not satisfied to have merely participated in seven Superbowls unless he could win the present one.

Although he initially had joined his team in having an “off day,” he removed the indignity of being the runner-up.

Yes, it is difficult to explain the difference between Tom Brady and everybody else on that football field. Quietly and with determination, he raised his game, increased his stats, and those around him who showed up to compete, joined him and defeated the participants.

I’m sorry–it made me think about the church.

We have exactly the same situation brewing in every sanctuary in America.

  • We have those who participate: “I believe in God.”
  • We have those who compete: “I believe in Jesus.”
  • And we’re looking for souls who will strive: “I am a follower of Jesus.”

Many people consider all three to be spiritual profiles, but there’s only one mindset that transforms humans from being participants and competitors into individuals who strive for excellence because they know the purity, the joy and the domination of such a maneuver.

Tom Brady is a follower of the mechanics, the psychology and the mission of football. He will not be overcome by mere participants and competitors.

In this day and age, believing in God and even trusting in Jesus does not position us to be more than conquerors.

The good news is that Jesus of Nazareth came to set an example–in word, deed and sacrifice–of what it means to win.

The better news is, if you’ll do more than participate and compete, you can strive and overcome.

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Cracked 5 … November 29th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Reasons the Ohio State Buckeyes Beat the Michigan Wolverines

A.  Michigan was chased by badgers, gophers, Hoosiers and Spartans

 

B.  One school is Urban; the other needs to hit the “Jim”

 

C.  Real name of team: “Miss-Again”

 

D.  Ohio State scored more points

 

E.  God loves Buckeyes

  cracked-5-no-wolverine

 

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Cracked 5 … August 23rd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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cracked 5 logo keeper with border

Signs That Summer Is Coming To An End

A. Deflated pool toys floating down the stream to the river below

 

B. Mis-matched shorts and bikini tops marked down at Wal-Mart

 

C. Chocolate marshmallow angels and snowmen stocked on the shelf at the Dollar General checkout line

 

D. Footballs flying, ceasing the masses pretending that baseball is a sport

 

E. Check a calendar, dork.

 

Cracked 5 swimsuits

 

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … May 14th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man Dear Woman

Dear Man: If I remember correctly, I was eleven years old, in middle school, during gym class, and Miss Pontier shared with us girls. It was a rainy day and we were supposed to be playing softball. We were forced inside, and for some reason, our teacher decided to wax poetic about men.

 

Dear Woman: Really? What did she say?

 

Dear Man: As I look back on it, I realize that she was probably going through a hard time in a relationship, but she quickly–and kind of comically–explained to us the three things that men don’t do.

 

Dear Woman: This is interesting. What were her findings?

 

Dear Man: She said men don’t emotionally care about much of anything. Secondly, men find it difficult to carry on a meaningful conversation, and third–men don’t remember anything if it’s more than a week away and doesn’t involve food and beer.

 

Dear Woman: Wow. That’s pretty jaded. So what did you think at the time?

 

Dear Man: I thought she was the goddess of wisdom. Who was I to question her?

 

Dear Woman: I had a similar thing happen when I was playing junior high football. We were on the bus on the way to a game and the coach talked to us about girls. We were not just a captive audience, but captivated by the subject. He said that girls don’t like sports, they don’t like to be ignored, and they don’t ever want to be wrong.

 

Dear Man: I would assume you agreed.

 

Dear Woman: Well, from my lack of experience I decided to accept his insight.

 

Dear Man: You see–that’s the problem in our society. People think it’s funny to portray the other gender as ridiculous, stubborn or stupid. But once we think that they don’t do something, it colors our efforts, and pretty soon we translate it to “they won’t.

 

Dear Woman: In other words, we take it personally.

 

Dear Man: Absolutely. So even though we feel the need to pair off and mate, we establish our main relationships within our gender, insisting that it’s impossible for a man and woman to get along completely.

 

Dear Woman: So let me get this straight. Because somebody tells us, for instance, that “women don’t do something,” we go out and confirm through our experiences, which are now prejudiced, that they won’t.

 

Dear Man: And it doesn’t stop there. Once we’re convinced they don’t and they won’t, we start believing they can’t. Despair sets in, disappointment, and a nagging resignation to having a relationship that is less than fulfilling.

 

Dear Woman: So we do a disservice to our children by telling them that the opposite sex doesn’t do things–because they will begin to believe they won’t, which makes them conclude that they can’t.

 

Dear Man: Yes. That’s why we have so much prejudice. Because if I believe you don’t do something, and I conclude you won’t, I disrespect you by thinking you can’t.

 

Dear Woman: So what can we do?

 

Dear Man: I think we can stop generalizing that men and women react as genders instead of individuals. It will block that deadly process that ends up with us thinking that the opposite sex is incapable of addressing our feelings.

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