Jonathots Daily Blog
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Jonathots Daily Blog
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Jonathots Daily Blog
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Man: I want a woman who’s smart.
Woman: Well, I would suggest that you get smarter. Intelligent people tend to find each other. I want a man who’s confident.
Man: You’ll need to be careful with that one. Confidence isn’t bragging. It’s a delicate balance between accomplishment and humility. I want a woman who’s sexy.
Woman: Well, there are lots of women who need sex–claim to have a yearning for it. But if you’ll allow me to say so, you might look for a woman who wants to have romance solely with you. I, on the other hand, would like a man who’s talented.
Man: Well, there’s talent that’s perceived, and talent that has the proof of performance. It’s easy to find a guy who has a guitar and a whole bucket of songs he’s written and is convinced he might have a future. Let’s be honest. If somebody isn’t giving him money for his talent right now, they probably never will. That’s why I would like to have a woman who’s generous.
Woman: Now, generosity is a tricky thing. Some people are generous to those they know or to their families, or might even spread it to their friends. But the true spirit of generosity is doing something for someone who has no ability to give it back in your direction. I guess that’s why I yearn for a man who’s spiritual.
Man: That can be a trap. There’s a big difference between being religious and being real. True spirituality is realizing there’s nothing in heaven that can’t at least be attempted on Earth. If your man is constantly talking about heaven, faith, prayer and church, he’s letting you know that he has no intention of making God’s will done here on Earth as it is in the sky. Me–I would love to have a woman who’s funny.
Woman: Keep in mind, there’s a fine line between silly and humor. And the trouble is, sometimes women who are silly are also air-headed about everything. Here’s how you know a woman is funny. Is she self-deprecating about her own weaknesses without losing a bit of her self-esteem? For me, finding a man who’s kind would be the greatest thing I could achieve.
Man: That does sound good, doesn’t it? Except for the fact that some people are kind because they’re afraid of being honest. Kindness has to be borne from a knowledge of the truth, with the addition of mercy. Otherwise you start insisting that everybody in the world is okay, and slam the door on those who might have decided to get better. Let me guess–you’d like a strong man.
Woman: Strong worries me. He may be able to lift a box and carry it up to the third floor, but those same muscles could be attached to a bad temper and used against me. I think I would prefer a man who pursues being fearless and uses the strength he’s got to tackle his problems instead of attacking the people he loves.
Man: You know what I’m hearing?
Woman: What’s that?
Man: We’re looking for the same thing in each other.
Woman: I guess it’s safe to say, we’re looking for people who realize they’re human beings instead of a penis and a vagina.
Man: A little blunt, but I think I agree.
Woman: I wasn’t blunt. I was just being strong.
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I am a single girl 27 years old. I have never been married. Although I’m not a great beauty, I am pretty OK in the looks department and have plenty of dates. I just haven’t met the right guy. I do want to get married someday and I feel like my time is running out. How can I move up the timetable? I’m not involved with anyone right now, so I’m at square one.
In answering such a question, I always find it’s good to work with the words you provided instead of the ones I try to put in your mouth.
You wanted to make it clear that you’ve never been married, you’re not a great beauty but also not ugly and that you’ve been on plenty of dates. You also believe there’s a “right guy” and there’s some sort of clock that’s ticking.
See, I just derived all of that from reading your question. Shall we take them on one at a time?
There’s nothing wrong with not being married. Matter of fact, there are hundreds and hundreds of relationships you will have in your life which will have nothing to do with consummation or sharing a checking account.
So since this particular relationship is about consummating sexually and having a checking account together, that’s the way you should view it.
It is also apparently important to you to establish that you are passable in the looks department. Even though I am sure your assessment is correct, ugly people do get married.
So your question actually centers around the concept of “the right guy.” I do not know if you believe there is a destined spouse just for you, or if by the “right guy” you mean someone who is at least as attractive as you are, maybe a little more prosperous, and would meet the approval of your friends and family.
But to determine the answer of your question about moving up the timetable–the easiest way to do that is to clear the air about what you, as a person, really want.
What if you found out tomorrow that for some reason you just can’t get married? How big a deal would that be to you? Are you anxious to get married because it’s your heart’s desire, or because you feel uglier as the years pass by, being single?
Moving on from that point, if you really do want to get married, then what would constitute a partner for you who would still interest you romantically after ten years, would not inhibit your personal space, and would keep you laughing?
Because that’s the formula: the right guy is someone who will not try to dominate your dreams, will remain attractive to you in the coming decade and knows how to keep the kind of good cheer in his life that makes you want to be around him.
Other than that, God did not make a “Ken doll” in heaven for you to find on your “Barbie pathway.”
So start looking for people you find interesting, who are solvent and who are funny. If you can match up with those particular virtues, then they, too, will be attracted to you.
But if you’re concerned about “being OK in the looks department” and going on plenty of dates to prove your prowess, the type of guy who is romantic, solvent and funny will probably overlook you.
So as the old adage says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Start creating in yourself what you want out of a future husband.
Be romantic, solvent and funny.
I’ve never found anyone who follows this advice who isn’t married within 18 months. But if you focus on any one of those things above the other, you will also end up married–but with less than the fulfilling package.
You really are not at square one…it’s just that your ideas are square.
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Jonathots Daily Blog
(1958)
I went to a party last night.
Some of you might not consider it to be that type of gathering–perhaps not festive enough for your taste. For instance, there was no alcohol. Nobody was smoking. As far as I know, the only pills popped were four Tylenol–by me, for my achy knees.
Laughing was available but not because somebody made a funny bodily noise and because the joint was inebriated everybody burst into guffaws. People at this party laughed just because things were funny.
There was no big stereo system in the corner, piping out the latest hits at ear-piercing decibels. Just music. Maybe to some people, simple music.
No huge buffet of food spread so that everybody could overeat as they complained about their waistlines, vowing to do better on the morrow.
No one was getting high–except for the fact that spiritually, they were being filled … as promised by their heavenly Father.
Yet it was quite a party. The kind where designated drivers were not demanded. Part of the joy was reveling behind your wheel about the fun you had.
It wasn’t even a party of friends who had known each other for years, so comfortable with one another that they can resort to personal insults and call it “poking fun.” No, most of the people at my party were strangers to each other except for embracing ideas like brotherhood, love, peace and joy.
It’s not that my party was better than the party down the street, where they drink, smoke, carouse and curse. It’s just that after a party is over, what remains becomes our lives. We can either have memories of tender thoughts filtering through our minds, enlightening us, or a series of regrets that we try to assuage by going to the next party.
“In the world you have tribulation.” That’s what Jesus said.
So once the world realizes that everything will be in a constant state of upheaval, it tries to intoxicate itself and warm in a blanket of self-love.
Jesus said this was not a good idea. He said the only way to handle the uncertainty of this world is to “be of good cheer.”
Start a party in your emotions.
Invite your spirit.
Welcome your mind.
And encourage your strength.
I went to a party. I wake up this morning rejuvenated, not hung over. I wake up this morning with everything the world promises me from its party–individuality, freedom and acceptance.
Those waking up from the party held by the world are lamenting it’s over and hoping that another one will come soon, to take away some of the confusion and pain.
Thanks to Faith Lutheran.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity
Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about personal appearances or scheduling an event
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I made one of those classic mistakes.
Spurred on by some friends and supporters, for a season I decided to advertise myself as a comedian or a humorist. It seemed like a good idea. After all, most people like light-hearted material over crusty pages with darkened corners.
But here’s what I discovered: arriving at my first engagement, fully promoted, a gentleman ambled up to me and said, “So I hear you’re a comedian.” (I would describe his tone as a mingling of spit and vinegar, accentuated with a sneer.)
I was in trouble.
For honestly, the best way to make sure that people will NOT find joviality in your material is to suggest to them that it is meant to be giggly. We are a highly independent species, bound and determined to push forward our own opinions, even if they’re wrong.
It took about two weeks, but I caught on. I dropped the foolish title from my advertising and decided to just go in front of the audience and let the chips fall where they may. Guess what? I was suddenly funny again.
So here’s what I learned from that experience. You might find it beneficial if you are in the pursuit of offering levity to the planet.
1. Don’t TRY to be funny.
2. BE funny–by sharing your “tries.” People love to laugh at our failures. You can call it sick, or just dub it predictable.
3. Don’t make fun of people. It’s cheap and eventually there is someone out there who will get a bead on your oddities–and decimate your character.
4. Make people believe in fun. In the midst of a world of turmoil, discussing the layers of conflict rarely brings about the energy to do anything about it. We have to believe that life is fun or we’ll stop showing up.
5. Don’t lose the humor of God. I was at a church service one time and we were all laughing, having a good time before the service, when the pastor said, “Let’s all calm down and get ready for worship.” I had to object. I replied, “What are you trying to do? Scare God away?” If God does not promote joy, then He’s probably pretty grouchy. I don’t think it does us any good to believe in a grouchy God.
6. And we promote the humor of God because God saves the lost THROUGH humor. The parables of Jesus are riddled by one-liners, set-ups and little stabs of comedy. If you can’t get people to look at their lives through the prism of jubilation and with a bit of jocular nature, the pain involved in changing is just too great.
So to answer the question “what’s so funny?” — it would be me, when I don’t TRY to be funny. And it would be you AND me when we realize that “be of good cheer” is the only way to overcome the world’s tribulation.
The producers of jonathots would humbly request a yearly subscription donation of $10 for this wonderful, inspirational opportunity
*****
Please contact Jonathan’s agent, Jackie Barnett, at (615) 481-1474, for information about personal appearances or scheduling an event
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You can be many things.
Limitation does not lie in the spectrum of your ability, but rather, in the perspective you hold about the world around you. All you have to do is respect Mother Nature, honor your creative Father and understand that life is neither a debate nor a popularity contest. It is a well-oiled, yet unpredictable piece of ongoing evolution, requiring humility, flexibility and perseverance.
You can be …
SMART–If you catch your dumb mistakes and begin to correct them before other people hone in on your weakness.
RICH–If you make more money than you spend for the rest of your life.
FUNNY–If you spend more time laughing at yourself instead of others.
POPULAR–If you’re willing to speak the truth with love and hang around until it’s proven to be true.
You can even be …
GROUCHY–If you’re willing to stubbornly continue your complaining, even when evidence has proven you to be outdated.
TALENTED–If you stop fussing about your lack of ability and begin to work with what you have.
SEXY–If you’re satisfied finding one person who is excited by your presence instead of needing to be enticing to everyone.
GENEROUS–If you accept the fact that the top dime of every dollar you make belongs to somebody else.
LOVED–If you are wise and do not demand that the folks around you give you attention, but rather, appear to be self-sufficient in a gentle way.
SPIRITUAL–If you have the gumption to cease and desist from being religious.
BEAUTIFUL–If you find the one thing that sets you apart and convince yourself that it’s a good thing.
You can also be …
PRESIDENT–If you can abandon your liberal or conservative agenda and allow yourself to become the spokesperson for all the people.
And you can be …
IMMORTAL–If something you are, believe or create can live on without the beating of your heart.
You can be many things. You must reject the foolishness of destiny, the limitations of discouragement and the fear of the unknown Because honestly, it is not that God has a wonderful plan for your life.
In His majesty and glory, He has provided a wonderful life … for your plan.
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A voice writing in the wilderness
Jonathots Daily Blog 
