Sit Down Comedy … April 10th, 2020

Jonathots Daily Blog

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My doubt has a gooey center and my faith is a bit crusty.

There are times I feel more like a sympathizer than a believer.

All the Bible-reading and ministerial chats still leave a festering in my curious soul.

For you see, I have been all alone in the wilderness or driving a car late at night when an inspirational silliness caused me to speak to the quiet stillness, “God, are you there? Do you have a word for me?”

It happened again this morning.

My friends left to get groceries and I was all alone in the house. The street was quiet and there were no whistles and buzzes coming from my Internet connection.

A chill went down my spine. I felt so close to something.

So I spoke again. “God, are you there?”

There was no answer—just as there wasn’t in the forest primeval or my motor vehicle.

Immediately, I felt foolish and cheated. Both emotions vied for the authority over my heart.

Suddenly there was this tiny notion that became an idea and evolved into a full-fledged sensation.

“Does my faith have to come from God?”

Are you telling me that if there were no God, we couldn’t figure out, “Love your neighbor?” After all, it lessens the murder rate.

Do we require tablets of stone? What is the purpose of that high mountain?

Could I discover the truth of this planet, and eventually the universe, without a Sunday School teacher? Or is it necessary for me to suffer rebuke, endure reading boring holy passages or shiver at the threat of eternal damnation?

Or is it just obvious that you should leave your neighbor’s wife alone?

Do we really need a commandment to inform us not to kill, to be generous or help the helpless?

Is it really profitable to be scared witless in an attempt to understand the mind of God?

Doesn’t “created in His image” come with an accompanying conscience?

Here is the entire essence of belief:

You can’t do your own thing if your thing messes up someone else’s thing.

Killing sucks.

Selfish leaves you alone.

Oh, and by the way, the Creator loves you enough not to speak. Because if He spoke to one, every human would want a private audience. Then we would start counting words. How many did he speak to Edith? More than Harry? Was his tone sweeter with Joe than with Donald?

Great people don’t need to talk. Great people do.

And if you’re talking about the greatest Being in the universe, speaking could be an immense disadvantage.

***

A friend of mine sat in a garden, pleading for his life. The answer came when the authorities arrived, arrested him, put him on trial and executed him.

How lonely he must have felt during his death.

How forsaken.

He was buried because he was confirmed dead.

But thirty-six hours later, he rose from that body and stepped out of his own grave.

It was an uncomfortable delay, but still … impressive.

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … March 21st, 2018

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Until the Race is Run

I don’t agree

with the average flea

but we both

admire the dog

I never laugh

with the common giraffe

but took a leap

with a big green frog

I once gave my vote

to a gruff billy goat

who quickly found my stash

and ate up all my cash

I saw one cryin’

a big burly lion

I offered him my clothes

he just bit my nose

and then there was the snake

I thought it was a fake

it slithered into the garden

I had to beg for pardon

on the plane

flying coach

I sat next

to a roach

it took up too much space

a tentacle in my face

the Earth gave me birth

and the sun, so much fun

I am finding out my worth

until the race is run 

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant … January 25th, 2017

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Way of the Transgressor

Good morning, Adam

How is the Garden?

Still need a pardon?

Good day, dear Eve

You got the boot

Due to forbidden fruit

Hey, Julius–stabbing pain?

From Brutus, quite insane

Iscariot hit the ground

Unable to hang around

While Cleo, snakebit on the boat

Pretty dead–watch her float

Adolph, Eva tried to hunker

Side-by-side in the bunker

Booth shot like a dog

In the barn near the hog

Jezebel took her final bow

And quickly became puppy chow

Attila, a Hun, not much fun

Spent his life on the run

The devil–cast down to Earth

To torment the children given birth

For we lament wicked deeds

Fail to notice how it bleeds

The way of the transgressor is hard

Always playing the dead soul’s card

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Ask Jonathots … November 3rd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Organic and natural foods are extremely expensive–out of reach for the average American, including me. But packaged foods are full of additives, starch or high fructose corn syrup. How do you find affordable healthy food in America?

In the realm of groceries or food products, there are only three ways to acquire nutritious portions and avoid the additives, salts and sugars.

1. You can grow your own food.

It may sound a little ridiculous, but lots of people have a small parcel of land where simple vegetables can be grown with some ease–especially things like tomatoes, green beans, cucumbers and squash.

2. Look for mark-downs.

Some grocery stores are very willing to mark down produce and even meat when they are near expiration. Find those stores, learn their patterns and be there when these various products are discounted for a more reasonable price.

3. Adjust your menu for the week to what is on sale.

Sometimes produce and vitamin-rich products are set at a lower price in order to lure people into the store. They often keep those prices for ten or twelve days, hoping to “hook” people on the taste before they raise the cost.

Don’t lock into bananas when it turns out that strawberries are on sale. Don’t insist on grapefruit if they have a deal on tangerines.

And I guess I should add a fourth point:

If you’re going to get nutritious food at a reasonable price, you have to adjust to the fact that you probably will be traveling to more than one grocery store. Make shopping a joy by beating the system through finding the deals, taking advantage of the mark-downs, and then supplementing your choices with a few things grown from your own garden.

If you will do these things, you will find that your budget will permit much healthier choices.

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G-Poppers … September 23rd, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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When G-Pop was a younger man, some of his friends suggested that he go seek the wisdom of an “image consultant” to help guide him in his writing career.

The concept was that this expert in marketing would have great ideas on how to make G-Pop more relevant to the public.

The two-hour session, which cost $150, garnered one very important insight: everything we do projects an idea.

It’s similar to the genesis of the creation of the universe. After God set science and planetary formations in motion, He settled in to generate the working friendships that would highlight the essence of His feelings.

• God created humans in His own image.
• Therefore we are God’s image consultants.

What people will think about God is based upon how they view us–and to some degree, how they perceive our being comes from their ideas about God.

It’s really very simple:

1. Humans need God.
2. But God needs humans.

A covenant began in a garden. The rules were understandable. Humankind received free will, and God asked humans to become caretakers of the animals, the Earth and each other.

G-Pop knows that when this system is honored, the love of God, the love of humans and the love of Earth is manifested. But if we insist we love God but misuse the Earth and mistreat one another, we portray an image which is contrary to who He is, and therefore infuriating.

So returning to the simplicity that human beings are God’s image and therefore God needs human beings to propel His nature, we begin to grasp the beauty and magnitude of our mission.

G-Pop has free will. For the pleasure of making his own plans, his own selection of friends and his own life’s work, God requests that G-Pop be a good caretaker of the Earth and all of its inhabitants.

If you think that’s religion, then may we all be religious.

But if it is what the Bible calls it–the breath of life–then may be all start breathing deeply.

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PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … July 16th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man: Did you ever think, just for discussion’s sake, what if the story of Adam and Eve were true?

 

Dear Woman: From the Bible?

 

Dear Man: Yes. I don’t mean religious–I mean, what if the telling of this tale was overall accurate, if not specific?

 

Dear Woman: OK. I can see that. But where are we going?

 

Dear Man: Working on that premise, do you realize that you and I–a man and a woman–were created, generated, evolved–whatever term you want to use–to be equals?

 

Dear Woman: I suppose that’s true. But that’s not the way it ended up.

 

Dear Man: No, but let’s step away from how it ended, and instead, talk about where it began. Both man and woman had equivalency and respect.

 

Dear Woman: I got that. So what happened?

 

Dear Man: You see, that’s the key. If we follow the story, it still makes sense in our world today. Because what you have is not a poorly defined sexual relationship or an inadequate parenting situation, or even an inability to speak to one another. It’s a failed business relationship.

 

Dear Woman: I think I understand. What you’re saying is, Adam and Eve’s equality stemmed from being in covenant with each other to achieve a common purpose, and when that was removed, then the frailties of each one were suddenly thrust to the forefront.

 

Dear Man: Exactly. So what we have today are men and women trying to get along with each other, already having experienced a bankruptcy together.

 

Dear Woman: That’s far out.

 

Dear Man: So if you want to get back to the Garden relationship, you have to understand what the problem is. I have to ask myself, can I trust you?

 

Dear Woman: And I have to ask myself, can I trust you?

 

Dear Man: And finally, can we work together without lying? Because this is what brought them down. They didn’t trust each other so they lied to each other–and then came together to lie to God.

 

Dear Woman: So you’re saying that all this fuss they make in society about the differences between men and women is really just a coverup about an abiding mistrust and a fatal flaw–lying.

 

Dear Man: Exactly. If I have confidence that I can trust you enough to tell the truth, we can address the real problem and work out almost anything.

 

Dear Woman: But if I can’t hear it, and get my feelings bruised or my masculine pride shaken, then I strive to make you insecure, too.

 

Dear Man: Of course, this is all based on the story having some believability.

 

Dear Woman: Well, I’ll tell you this–it sure is a hell of a lot better than acting like men and women are hopeless.

 

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Dear Man/Dear Woman: A Noteworthy Conversation … March 26th, 2016

 Jonathots Daily Blog

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Dear Man: Cooperate.

Dear Woman: Is that an order?

Dear Man: No, I was just thinking about the word. Co, meaning the two of us, and operate … well, I guess that implies working together.

Dear Woman: The two of us working together. That’s cool.

Dear Man: Well, the trouble is, it’s not cool. We are taught to be independent. Self-sufficient. We’re working on our own biographies instead of a human story. Somehow we feel diminished if all the praise doesn’t come our way but instead is given to a cooperative effort.

Dear Woman: I see what you mean. Yet that’s always been my problem with collaboration. Rather than everybody standing back and rejoicing over the end result, each person has a tendency to point out his or her part in the process.

Dear Man: We can’t help it. Society tells us if we don’t toot our own horn it won’t get tooted.

Dear Woman: It is possible for somebody to blow your horn. After all, it is a horn.

Dear Man: That’s funny. And oh, so true. I guess we need to remember that we were created to be in a garden. It’s a co-op. No person is sufficient unto themselves without a common humanity and a common good.

Dear Woman: I have to be honest. I’m resistant to that concept. I mean, I understand it but it’s like I feel I need to have autonomy. Otherwise I don’t have my own thing.

Dear Man: I’m the same way. I would like to include you, but I really don’t want you to feel like you’re necessary.

Dear Woman: But it’s all over nature. If you don’t mind me bringing it up, even sexuality is kind of comical. The male and female parts are not competely compatible with each other unless the man and the woman talk, discuss and share.

Dear Man: So true. Yet at the same time, we feel like we should be complete within ourselves. It’s important to acknowledge what we have, otherwise we don’t know what we require.

Dear Woman: And it’s not stereotypes. Not all men are strong and all women emotional.

Dear Man: Absolutely not! Sometimes the female is the strong one and the man brings the emotion. It’s knowing how to co-op. In farming, one person plants, another waters and God and Nature give the increase.

Dear Woman: So why are we so damn afraid of this?

Dear Man: We’re taught to look at each other sexually, not practically.

Dear Woman: I can see that. Sometimes I’m just nervous talking to a woman because I’m afraid…I don’t know…that she doesn’t find me attractive.

Dear Man: What can be more attractive than an intelligent exchange? Or the realization that somebody has brought some information to you that completes one of your goals?

Dear Woman: So what can we do to initiate this co-op?

Dear Man: I think what stumps people is that in order to become strong, you have to know where you’re weak. And to use your weakness is to learn to recognize what you need before it’s pointed out to you.

Dear Woman: I think I could actually do that, especially if I had a friend to remind me when I was stumping around advertising my ego instead of being honest about my limitations.

Dear Man: Men and women were meant to cooperate–joining together to operate a plan that is only enhanced by their dual efforts.

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